The girls screams but all their is is silence.
She sheds tears but her face is not moist.
She speaks but there are no words to be heard.
This girl, only in her mind she ever screamed for this, there was no sound. Only in her mind did she cry for this, tears did not moisten her face. And for this words where never herd. She is scared of exspression. She is scared to stand out and is scared of judgment. Becuase of this her world will be of muteness there will be no sun no moon only a gray, a gray nothingness in a line of other people all have no faces for they to are scared of being diffrent and they all to live in gray nothingness.
The girl who is scared will live in the world of gray until her scream is herd and her face feels tears.

Inside the darkness of my tortured mind
I see a lifelless body
Covered with blood
As I run to hold it tight
I see myself
As tears run over my cheeks
And while the whole body is trembling
My mind is looking for a justification
In loathing and despite:
Oh, what did I achieve,
What have I become?
Living kwa the someone elses rules
Deprived of my one desires,
Just a shadow in this world
Where its beauty has never been shown
To my sad eyes.
But, is this the only exit of my uchungu, chungu existence,
Is this the way to end this resident pain?
And in the darkness of my mind
Tears run over my cheeks
Asking why,
Why rain never stops,
Why sun never shines
In my eyes,
Deadness is sleeping in its depravity
And I know that I don't belong
To this world,
I'm living in my own,
Living on my own.

What would wewe do,
if the upendo of your life died,
what would wewe do if they died a terrible death,
would wewe get revenge,
would wewe hate everyone,
would wewe become a murderer in return,
would wewe cry your life away,
au would wewe take your life away?

What would wewe do,
if your best friend committed suicide,
what would wewe do if they died terribly,
would wewe laugh because no tears will come,
would wewe cry until it is all over,
would wewe do the same,
would wewe run away,
au would wewe just throw it all away?

What would wewe do,
if wewe were hit kwa a car,
what would wewe do if wewe were dying,
would wewe feel sorry for yourself,
would wewe cry until the end,
would wewe remember everything wewe have ever done,
would wewe call your mom,
au would wewe hate the person until your life has gone away?

What would wewe do,
when everything ends for wewe au a friend?

What would wewe do?

Here is another poem. It is a bit dark but the truth is always darker than it seems.

Isolated,
I am isolated,
I isolate myself from the people who might care about me...

Watching,
They watch me but are blind,
Blind to the emotions that are always rinning through my mind while they just stare...

Broken,
My moyo is broken,
The cracks run deep and I know will never be filled...

Unseen,
I feel unseen,
Unseen kwa the ones who walk the halls and just look right through me...

Tears,
They never want to stop,
The tears stream down my face until the burn my cheeks...

Darkness,
I am Lost in a sea of black,
The waves crash around me and threaten to kumeza me forever

There are times when our loss makes us to feel happy
When in a problem one small support makes us to feel lucky
Times when we are crying one word makes us to laugh
Even if moyo is all ours they live in half
Making fun even if we don’t like is their habit
On our single smile in sadness they jump and run like rabbit
Don’t recall the past, don’t worry about future
They teach us like experienced tutor
They are my dearest friends
Who live with me with upendo that never ends
No end, everyday is a new start
There is no way we can be apart

Dedicated to a friend of mine, may he and his family and everyone who knew him know that he now is with God
____________________________________________________

Only knew wewe for a few years
Cause of Dad's new job
wewe always were my favorite
One of them to talk to
wewe always smiled
And never thought a bad thing
Even when your son was messing up
wewe just laughed and helped him
And always forgave

No one knew wewe would leave us
On that cold winter day
Now i cant rember your name without crying

We never were close
Yet we had so much in common
No one needed to know us
wewe and I were fine

I knew it wasnt a cold
It was always something more
wewe ignored it all
And went on with your life
I wanted to say something
And i never alisema goodbye

I wish i could of alisema goodbye
For wewe are here
No more
__________________________________________________
In memory of a friend who didnt deserve to die, we all miss wewe and wewe will never be forgotten

When I talk to my Marafiki I pretend I am standing on the wings

of a flying plane. I cannot be trusted to tell them how I am.
au if I am falling to earth weighing less

than a dozen roses. Sometimes I dream they have broken up

with their lovers and are carrying chakula to my house.
When I open the mailbox I hear their voices

like the long upward-winding curve of a train whistle

passing through the tall grasses and ferns
after the train has passed. I never get ahead of their shadows.

I embrace them in front of moving cars. I keep them away

from my miseries because to say I am miserable is to say I am like them.

—Jason Shinder

I am mysterious yet sweet
I wonder what the future brings
I hear Mbwa mwitu loups imba to the moon
I see diamonds swimming in a black sea above me as I lay in the grass.
I want people to understand me completely

I am bila mpangilio yet shy
I pretend I am always going on new adventures
I feel misunderstood
I touch shards of my past, remembering them
I worry that I won't find someone who can view things the way I do

I am courageous yet cunning
I cry because the blames fall on me
I understand people's problems
I say witty things that persuade people
I dream of an absolution & life of adventure
I try to fit in but it's just so boring
I hope to travel around the world making zaidi Marafiki along the way.

I am all that I am, I am all of me

The Cure



Good and evil
upendo and hate

The balances of life
Makes everything flow just right
Until misery takes control of your world...

Misery is a parasite
Feeds off other's to become stronger
It hunts for those who are happy
Only to bite and infect them
With it's disease

It penetrates deep into your mind
Death and despair flood the thoughts
The virus spreads further...to your soul

wewe are sick with misery
Contagious
wewe don't want to infect
Forced into isolation
A weak body and a weak mind
There is no cure for wewe to find

Until the siku comes when an antidote called Love
Finds it's way inside
And kills the virus

But cures are hard to find
Like any upendo is...

my moyo beats clear and frees me
to see, feel, hear, touch and taste
your eyes, your lips, your hands
wewe are everywhere

a touch, soft and tender
a whisper, full of desire
a gasp of sweet surrender
as passion fuels the fire

and though we still have far to go
that's alright, we'll take it slow
and though the days are often long
with wewe here I can be strong

there's no time in life to judge
only time enough for love
so as another night slips by
let’s dance beneath the sky

in our secret garden
upendo took power over our will
progressively, gently, tenderly, lover to lover

love, you’re all I ever needed
and I want wewe now. now being forever.

this is my eternal vow.