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I'm putting two funny makala together in one, hope wewe enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I upendo deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would wewe know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what wewe need, and I'll tell you...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy kubeba on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some chakula while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the jikoni and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the jikoni was when Tina got nyumbani she saw what the jikoni was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their nyumbani the Teddy kubeba was hiding in the jikoni cupboard as it chuckled...
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15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 dakika power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course wewe sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the juu off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are wewe discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...
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dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, sekunde i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her ukanda serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got nyumbani my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started kusoma it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 sekunde later i hear my mother scream off the juu of her lungs LILLY GET wewe BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she alisema uuummm my homework...
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posted by kinga10111
..... bila mpangilio Facts .....

If wewe have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, wewe have $1.19. wewe also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest bila mpangilio speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...
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1.Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2.Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.A papa is the only samaki that can blink with both eyes.

6.There are zaidi chickens than people in the world.

7.Two-thirds of the world's mbilingani, biringani is grown in New Jersey.

8.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9.On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10.All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on...
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Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids kwa their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no wewe ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...
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posted by cute20k
Okay, I don't really cry a lot but these nukuu are all a little sad. They're in no particular order.

1. "A million words wouldnt bring wewe back, I know because I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

2. "When you're in upendo and wewe get hurt, it's like a cut, it will heal with time but the scars will never fade"

3. "What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

4. "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the upendo wewe have and knowing it will never be returned"

5. "You probably won't remember me. I'm probably ancient history. I'm one...
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1. Pretend to fall down and wait till someone says "Are wewe OK?" Then say "I'M A MONSTER!!" And see what happens
2. Walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hey, I liked your video on youtube!"
3. If it's Halloween go to the costume section and grab a Halloween bag and go up to a bila mpangilio person and say "Trick au treat!"
3. Go to a crowded aisle and if wewe know it sing the song "Party like a rock star"
4. Follow a customer and put in items in hisher gari and say "Ready for checkout!"
5. When wewe see a old guy then point and say "Its Shakira!!"
6. Go up to an old man and say "MOMMY!! I HAVEN'T...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As wewe can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did wewe ever walk in a room and forget why wewe walked in? I think that’s how mbwa spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” kwa the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains au argues, reply with “What are wewe gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with wewe for Halloween

4. onyesha him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile au if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room au says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” kwa Madonna.
Do-do-oo-oo
Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah
(Intro Music)
We wonder, are wewe ready to jiunge us now?
Hands in the air, we will onyesha wewe how come and try caramell will be your guide (be your guide)
So come and songesha your hips,
sing
Oa-ah-ah!
Look at your two, do it
La,la,la!
You and me can sing this melody
Oa-oa-ao

Dance to the beat,
wave your hands together
Come feel the heat,
Forever and forever
Listen and learn,
It is time for prancing
Now we are here with Caramelldansen
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa-ao
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa-ao
Fron Sweden to UK we will bring our song Austrailia,USA,and people of Hong Kong They have herd...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
There is a topless picha of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O

Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied kwa some perverts with Photoshop.’

"The alleged picha of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” alisema her reps.

Now they are going to go after the people responsible.

Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...

source: TMZ

-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
posted by ShiningsTar542
If wewe think wewe kusoma all the books, seeing all the movies, and buying all the stuff makes for a real shabiki Twilight fan, wait until wewe read this news.v
---- v
-----v
-----v
-----v

It turns out that there is a woman named Cathy Ward, 49, who is a mega shabiki of the series. She has her entire back tattooed with the characters from the series and plans to cover her whole body... WoW!

Cathy discovered the series a few years zamani when a friend gave her the first movie and since then she has been upendo with all the mythology and characters.

Source: objetivofamosos
***Lol this was probably a lot funnier to the drunk people who wrote it at three in the morning but.... here wewe go xD

Or if you'd just rather check it out on youtube:
link

I wanna be a grizzly bear, so beary bad
Stealin' honey from bees just to make them mad
I wanna live in the forest with, Booboo and Yogi
So we can steal picnic baskets as three

Oh every time I close my eyes...
I see the back of my eyelids
And I bet wewe didn't know this
I swear, the world is unprepared for when I'm a Grizzly bear

Yeah I would climb trees like bears do
And probably attack you, not an every day
Hike in the forest
I'd probably...
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*If I had forgetten something else please let me know thanks :) :P*



So, long zamani me and my brother Kyle here
We was hitch hiking down a long lone-some road
When all of a sudden, there shined the shining demon..
And he said!
"Play the best song in the world..or I'll eat your souls..."
So we each looked at each other and alisema "OK!"
So we played the song that just so happened to be! The best song in the world! It was the best song in the world! Look into my eyes and its easy to see when a one makes two and two and one makes destiny...
Once every thousand years au so,
Is when the sun dont shine and the...
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(CREATED kwa RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can futa the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused kwa Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle wewe with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a moyo attack; his moyo lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
Christian quotes...

"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God."
- George H.W. kichaka

"ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS AND NON BELIEVERS ARE THE TRUE CRIMINALS OF THE WORLD COMMUNITY" - tencommandments.org

"How can there be peace when drunkards, drug dealers, communists, atheists, New Age worshipers of Satan, secular humanists ... and homosexuals are on top?"
- Pat Robertson

"... atheism is none other than raw depravity - the diabolical principle at work in people who dishonor their parents, murder, lie and commit...
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