Serena: So, when's the party?
Blair: Saturday... and you're kinda not invited. Since, until 12 hours ago, we all thought wewe were at boarding school. And Jenny used up all the invites.
Blair: We should get going, unless wewe want us to wait for you. Looks like wewe got a lot of yogurt left.
Blair: Great. So, my dad left her for another man. She Lost 15 pounds, got an eye lift. It's been good for her.
Serena: I upendo you, B.
Blair: I upendo you, too, S.
Blair: She better not onyesha her face again.
Chuck: I'm actually hoping she will.
2. The Wild brunch
Blair: I wonder if Nate remembered brunch. It would be so wrong to onyesha up without my boyfriend, who I love. And who loves me.
Serena: I'm really trying to make an effort here. I thought everything was good between us.
Blair: It was. Before I found out wewe had sex with my boyfriend.
Blair: wewe know, I always knew wewe were a whore. But I never knew wewe were a liar.
Blair: If wewe wanna be part of this world, Jenny, people will talk. Eventually. wewe gotta decide if all this is worth it.
Blair: What are wewe doing right now? How about me?
Blair: It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually a big deal to some of us.
3. Poison Ivy
Blair: Funny, Brown doesn't offer a degree in slut.
Blair: My father left my mother for a 31-year-old model. A male model.
4. Bad News Blair
Blair: Why am I mad? wewe mean, why aren't I furious?! I can't believe for one sekunde I thought that it would be different this time.
Blair: What about this morning then? When wewe glanced at the call sheet, did wewe see my name on it? When I wasn't in hair and make-up, didn't that seem strange? When the dressing room only had your name on it, what, did wewe think they just forgot?
Blair: Because wewe take everything from me! Nate, my mom!
Serena: Blair!
Blair: wewe can't even help it. It's who wewe are. I just thought that maybe this time it would be different. I should have known I'd be wrong
Blair: Who dare interrupt the van Der Woodsen as she teaches?!
Blair: Sorry, the number wewe dialed is no longer is service.
Serena: Stop it, who is it?
Blair: I'm doing wewe a favor.
Dan: Look I can hear you. Can I just please talk to Serena?
Blair: Apparently wewe can, cabbage patch
Blair: Maybe we should crash the shoot, anyway. See who they replaced me with. Make fun of that skinny b!tch.
Blair: wewe haven't done this since I was little.
Eleanor: wewe haven't been in kitanda kwa ten since wewe were little
5. Dare Devil
Blair: I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination. And if wewe refuse to come, I'm gonna need to find a replacement... girls, the waiting list?
Blair: That's nice, Little Humphrey. But, um, that's not how we play
Blair: Okay, I have a problem. I have a big problem! It starts with a capital RX.
Nurse: What drugs have wewe been taking?
Blair: Caffiene, Nicotine, Cadimine, Disprine, LSD, Driazapam, Flurazepam. All the pams really, I don't discriminate.
Blair: Martini.
Jenny: Oh, no thanks, I don't like Vodka.
Blair: Well thats great, because this is gin, as it should be
6. The Handmaiden's Tale
Blair: After everything that's happened - or, hasn't happened - I wanna make it special.
Blair: All I wanted was for us to start over. And wewe didn't even try.
Blair: Is that a bong, mother? I didn't take wewe for a stoner.
7. Victor Victrola
Blair: I don't want to talk about it. I just want to escape. That's what this place is for, right?
Blair: Yeah, let's talk about that masked ball. Let's talk about how I was waiting for wewe to find me so that we can finally be together, wewe were confessing your feelings and kissing Serena. I thought I was doing everything right.
Blair: Do wewe upendo me?... wewe should deal with your father. He needs you. wewe know what? I don't.
Blair: Game recognizes game, Little J. But wewe have to onyesha zaidi respect. This is the last time I'll help you. inayofuata time wewe kuvuka, msalaba me, I won't be as forgiving.
Blair: So, I heard on Gossip Girl that wewe were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.
Serena: Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?
Blair: Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.
Blair: Well, it does have franchise potential. Chuck Bass, I do believe that all your years of underage boozing and womanizing have finally paid off. Truly, I am proud.
8. Seventeen Candles
Blair: Thank you, Father. That was very good advice.... wewe don't grant birthday wishes, do you?
Priest: I'm a priest, not a genie.
Blair: Well, the inayofuata time wewe talk to Him, could wewe ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me?
Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God.
Blair: Losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my Marafiki will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever wewe and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, au putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas.
Blair: Go away, Chuck! I've been aliyopewa orders, practically from God himself, to avoid you.
Blair: No one knows that Nate and I broke up, and it's going to stay that way until I can fix this. And I don't think you're best friend would still be wewe best friend is he knew...
Blair: Well, erase the tape! Because as far as I'm concerned, it never happened.
Blair: You're officially uninvited.
Blair: Exactly my point. But even if she wasn't, when wewe get a boyfriend, wewe become the best friend and the best friend becomes the sekunde best friend. That's just how it has to be, if it's ever going to work.
Blair: These butterflies have got to be murdered.
9. Blair Waldorf Must Pie!
Blair: I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, sleeping with him once, maybe I could understand. But twice?
Blair: Oh, so Nate gets a free pass and I'm the slut?
Serena: Tell me wewe didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge.
Blair: Well, it wasn't because I liked his natural musk. And, besides, nothing hurts zaidi than sleeping with the best friend. Right, S?
Blair: Your mom is freaking out, so my is freaking out.
Blair: If wewe think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
10. Hi, Society
Blair: wewe almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point; wewe can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman; he would never cause a scene.
Blair: Well, I can't be on you, remember? wewe don't want Nate to find out and I don't want anyone to. wewe have to learn how to behave yourself first.
Blair: Nate, after what wewe pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on.
11. Roman Holiday
Blair: I think wewe like Dan a little too much. But I should let wewe know, someone's watching. Merry Christmas!
Blair: Well, Roman, wewe are in for a treat because, the Waldorf krisimasi is like no other.
Blair: There's no room in your life for me anymore.
Blair: I don't know. A single entrain a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Blair: I don't know, why don't wewe buy him a dhahabu money for $49.99. He won't know the difference.
Blair: Chuck! wewe are not answering my calls. To torture me, I am sure. But, please! For the upendo of God, do not tell anybody about us. Okay? Please? Please.
Blair: Well, I'm sorry, mother. It's just not the same. I don't understand how that French fox, mbweha aliiba my father and your husband, and always seems to come off like an innocent lamb.
Blair: Roman doesn't even know how to ice skate. Can't wewe escort him out of the park on the way to your meeting? Maybe drop him off a nail salon...
Blair: Why don't wewe just buy a new outfit for Cedric and call it a day?
12. School Lies
Blair: wewe have no idea who you're dealing with.
Blair: I'll just tell him your lying. And wewe do wewe think he'll believe? wewe who bangs anything in his field of vision. au me, his pure and honest girlfriend of many years.
Blair: Enough with the blackmail, aren't wewe bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.
Blair: Isn't there someone else wewe can torture?
Blair: I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion. I did something stupid with someone and even worse than doing that stupid thing I did the same stupid thing with someone else and pretended I'd never done that stupid thing before. wewe look confused... should I walk wewe through it?
Blair: wewe are so naive. Michael Moore over there is obviously just using this film to get close to Dan.
13. A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate
Blair: I'm not pregnant. I command myself to not be pregnant.
Blair: I'm very stressed. And with wewe and Serena down my throat I can hardly see straight, never mind keep chakula down.
Blair: Maybe I am a total bitch. Ever think about that?
Blair: I'm not pregnant. So goodbye mistake, so far in my past I can hardly remember it.
Blair: If wewe go with them, I'll ruin you.
14. The Blair bitch, kahaba Project
Blair: Lady Godiva, my only friend.
Blair: But your hair looks disgusting. Did wewe even kuoga today?
Blair: mchele Krispie treats?
Blair: Brooklyn... I think that's in New York.
15. Desperately Seeking Serena
Blair: And have wewe seen Nelly Yuki's extracurriculars? I should kick her well-rounded ass.
Serena: Why do wewe keep saying her name?
Blair: Because it's Nelly Yuki!
Blair: Ew gross! Incoming, Chuck.
16. All About My Brother
Blair: All that matters to someone like Jenny right now are the 4 Gs, Guys, Girlfriends and Gossip Girl.
Blair: Right know Gossip Girl's credibility is like Tinsley Mortimer's after a few martinis.
Blair: It's your brotherly duty to keep her from becoming the inayofuata Katie Holmes.
Blair: What are wewe talking about? You're starting to scare me. Hey, hey, hey. We're sisters. You're my family. What is you, is me. There's nothing wewe could ever say to make me let go. I upendo you. What is it?
Blair: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes?
Blair: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like wewe couldn't afford it.
17. Woman On the Verge
Blair: We've seen wewe with vomit in your hair, making out with investment bankers in the men's room at PJ Clark's. wewe don't have to hide anything from us.
Blair: Yeah, I had sex with him in the back of a limo.
Blair: wewe can tell us anything. We don't judge. We're the non-judging Breakfast club. We're your best friends. Anything wewe do is something we did too.
Blair: Uh, I'm a big shabiki of lincoln Hawk?
18. Much I Do About Nothing
Blair: How? It's not like wewe every do anything athletic.
Chuck: Well, that's not entirely true, now is it?
Blair: Fine, nothing that involves removing your scarf.
Blair: Break a leg.
Chuck: I think I just did.
Blair: Ugh! They say when wewe hate something, wewe should slam the door in its face.
Blair: Haven't wewe heard? I'm the crazy bitch, kahaba around here.
Blair: Don't worry, I can be a bitch, kahaba enough for both of us.
Blair: Oh, you're not alone Georgina. I'm here now. And I brought some people who really really want to see you. I think wewe remember your parents.
Blair: Chuck bass, besi is a romantic, who knew?
Chuck: wewe don't belong to Nate. Never have, never will.
Blair: wewe never belong to anyone.
Blair: No one ever enjoys their first time.
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Sorry, that it's so long, but Blair has a lot of awsome lines :]
