This chapter was very emotional draining to write and contains a lot of clues for future chapters. I wonder if anyone can guess what is going to happen?

Chapter Three

‘Brooke’ he alisema repeating her name. Calling her back from her thoughts, her memories. That was all. Just her name. Well what else could he say? That he was sorry about the last time they had spoken. Sorry that he had gotten it all wrong?

It was far to late for that and, without warning, se found herself wanting to slap him, yell at him for being such an idiot. For staying away, when coming nyumbani would have made Haley so happy.

‘Where were you?’ she demanded.

Lucas shook his head. ‘In the mountains. Everest. I was working so close that I took a few days off, with no work, no phone...’

He looked so desolate that she wanted to reach out and gather him close. Comfort him. Instead, she turned to the baby at her shoulder, kissed her precious head.

Maybe he read all that in her face – she was too tired to keep her feelings under wraps – because he stood up, took a step back and placed the baby bottle he was still holding on the meza, jedwali beside her. ‘It was about to fall,’ he alisema ‘I didn’t want it to wake you, Peyton warned me not to disturb wewe when she let me in.’

Too late for that. Years too late.

‘Has she gone?’

He nodded. ‘She alisema to tell wewe that she’ll call wewe in the morning.’

“She’s been wonderful. Both her and Rachael stayed here, manned the phones, organized the chakula for after the funeral. But there grieving, too. They need to rest.’ Not that Lucas looked particularly great. He might have had the luxury of a first class sleeping berth to take the edge off the long flight, but there was a grayness about his skin and his eyes were red and bloodshot. ‘How are you?’

‘I’ll think about that later.’

‘When you’re back in Sydney? She asked, reminding herself that this, like all his visits, was only a break from his real life.

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said. ‘Not until everything is settled.’

‘Everything?’

‘I’m Nathan’s executor. I have to arrange for probate, settle his estate.’

‘A week should do it,’ she retaliated, and immediately regretted it. He had to be hurting, whether he was inaonyesha it au not. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t! don’t appologise to me.’ He looked up, took another deep breath. ‘You and Haley and Nathan were so close. They were your family, Brooke.’

‘A lot better then the real thing.’

‘Yes.’ He looked at her, and for a moment she thought he was going to say something she’d find hard to forgive. In the end he just said, ‘Have wewe managed to contact Haley’s parents, let them know what happened?’

‘They were even harder to find then you.’

‘I’m so sorry. I can’t kubeba the thought of wewe going through all of this alone…’

‘I wasn’t alone. Everyone helped. Owen was wonderful.’

Owen. Lucas felt his stomach twist at that name.

‘Deb took care of all the arrangements for the funeral. And once your father arrived and took charge …’

‘He’s here?’

‘He left again right after the funeral, not many people in mti kilima were happy to see him.’ He was about to make some maoni about his father deserving to be the one in the ground, but thought better of it. ‘Thank wewe for sticking with it, Brooke. For not just leaving a message.’

‘I wanted to tell wewe myself, although if I’d realized how long it would take…’

‘It must have felt like a year.’

‘A lifetime.’ The quickly, ‘Your staff were terrific, kwa the way. Will wewe them them for me? If I’d thought about it, I’d have anticipated resistance to handing out contact numbers to someone they don’t know.’

‘Of course they know you,’ he said. ‘Do wewe think I don’t talk about wewe all?’ The almost as if he was embarrassed kwa this brief outburst, ‘Besides, they have an any time, anywhere list.’

‘And I’m on that?’

‘We both know that the only reason you’d ever call me would be with news I had to hear,’

Once Brooke would have laughed at that. If only he knew how many times she’d picked up the phone, he hand over the speed dial number, not to speak to him, but simply to hear his voice. How she’d longed to go back to the way they had once been, when they had been friends…teased one another…told one another everything.

Almost everything.

‘Brooke …’

She didn’t answer. Instead, she held Grace close as she got to her feet, supporting her head with her hand. Then, when she didn’t stir, she laid her in the utoto beside the chair.

For a moment her tiny arms and legs waved as if searching for her warmth and her face creased up, as if she was about to cry. Brooke laid her hand on her tummy until, reassured kwa the contact, the baby finally relaxed.

Once she was settled, Brooke crossed to the kettle, turned it on, not because she wanted anything to drink, but because anything was better then doing nothing.

‘The basement is all made up for you,’ she said, glancing at him. ‘The bed’s made and you’ll find the basics in your fridge. It’s too late to do anything toay and I’m sure wewe need to catch up on your sleep.’

‘I’ll hang on for a while. The sooner I slot back into this time zone, the sooner I’ll beat the jet lag.’

‘Is that right?’

That earned her one of those smiles that had never failed to light up her insides and, feeling instantly guilty, she looked away.

‘There’s a casserole, vyungu vya in the over and I’m just about to eat. I’m not sure what meal times your on but, if your serious about keeping local hours, you’d be wise to jiunge me.’

He shook his head. ‘I’m not hungry.’

‘Oddly enough,’ she alisema ‘neither am I, but unlike wewe I can’t indulge in the luxury of missing meals.’ She stooped herself. His body clock must be all over the place and while snapping at him made her feel better and it would certainly help distract her from the almost irresistible urge to throw caution to the wind, fling her arms around him and beg him to make it better, it wasn’t far on him. ‘Look, why don’t wewe go and take a shower? Maybe a shave?’ she suggested. ‘See how wewe feel then?’

He ran a hand over his chin. ‘You don’t like the beard?’

‘Beard?’ Under the pretext of assessing the short light beard that covered his firm chin, cheeks hollowed with exhaustion, she indulged herself in a long look. Finally shaking her head as if in disbelief, she said, ‘Are wewe telling me that the stubble is deliberate?’

And for a moment, just a moment, his mouth twitched into a wisper of the smile that had once reduced the hearts of teenage girls to mush. If her moyo racing response was anything to go by, it had the same effect on mature and otherwise sensible women.

But then she was a long Lost cause.

‘I’m sorry, Lucas,’ she added. ‘I just thought that you’d forgot to pack your razor.’

‘I’m still carrying the bag I had with me in China and Nepal so I hope the washing machine is up to the…’ He broke off as a tiny mewl emerged from the crib. A tiny mewl the quickly grew into an insistent wail.

Brooke sighed. ‘ I thought it was too good to be true. She’s been so fretful for the last couple of days. Clingy. It’s almost as if she knows there’s something wrong.’

Lucas took a step towards the crib, kitanda cha mtoto mchanga and, very gently, he laid his hand, as she had done, on the baby’s tummy.

Grace immediately stopped crying and, eyes wide, stared up at the tall figure standing over her. Then as if demanding zaidi from her uncle, she reached out a tiny fist and Brooke caught her breath as Lucas crouched beside the crib, kitanda cha mtoto mchanga and touched her hand with the tip of one finger.

He’d been beyond anger when she’d told him that he was to late to stop the surrogacy, that she was already pregnant with his brother’s child. News she hadn’t even shared with Haley yet, determined not to raise false hopes until the doctor had confirmed it.

She hadn’t know how he would react to Grace. Now, as he gazed down at this small miracle, she waited moyo in mouth, for his reaction. For the inevitable question.

How could she do it?

How could she have felt the first tiny movements, watched that first scan, listened to the squishy beat of her heat, cherished the baby growing inside her for nine long months, only to surrender her to her friends?

Other people had asked.

Not friends, true friends. They had all understood. But a reporter from the local paper who’d somehow picked up the story had called her, wanting to know the whys, the how’s, the financial deal she signed up to. If the women had done her research, she’d have know that anything but expenses was against the law and Brooke hadn’t needed au wanted even that.

It was people who didn’t know them who seemed most indignant that she could do such a thing. People who clearly had no concept of unselfish love.

None of these people had mattered, but she wanted Lucas to understand. Even though he didn’t approve of what she had done, she needed him to know why, without asking, understand why she had done it.

Don’t, she silently begged him. Please don’t ask…

‘Nathan called me dakika after Grace was born,’ he said, after what felt like an eternity. ‘He was almost incoherent with joy.’ For a moment he too seemed to find it difficult to speak. ‘I was in the middle of nowhere, the line was terrible but even through stactic it came through loud and clear. His world was complete.’ He looked up, looked at her. ‘You gave him that, Brooke.’

She let out a breath. He understood. Then catching up, she said, ‘Nathan called you?’

‘He didn’t mention it?’

She shook her head. Why wouldn’t he have told her? Had Haley know?

‘What did wewe say to him, Lucas?’ she demanded.

‘I asked if wewe were all right and, when he assured me that wewe had sailed through the whole thing. I asked him if he was sure wewe had know doubts about giving up the baby, Urged him no to rush you…’

She waited, sure there was something else, but he shook his head.

‘I didn’t,’ she said. ‘He didn’t.’

Why had it mattered so much to him? And why wouldn’t they have told her that he’d cared enough to ask about her? Had been concerned about that she was alright. Hadn’t Haley know how much it would mean to her?

Not wanting to think about that, she crossed to Grace’s crib, picked her up, cradled her briefly, cherished the weight of her in her arms, the baby sent of clean hair, warm skin. Then she turned and offered her to Lucas.

‘Here,’ she said. ‘Take her. Hold her.’ When he didn’t move, she looked up to find him starring, not at the baby but at her. ‘What?’

He shook his head. ‘I thought you’d be married kwa now, Brooke with a nyumbani and children of your own. Wasn’t that what wewe always wanted?’

‘You know it was.’

She’d wanted what Haley had. A settled home, a good man, children. She also wanted Lucas Scott and the two were incompatible. No one could have everything they wanted. ‘Unfortunately,’ she said. ‘Life isn’t that simple.’

‘Maybe men just have it too easy these days. All of the comforts with none of the responsibility.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Well, it wasn’t for lack of choice, was it? wewe appeared to be dating someone different every time I came home.’

‘Not every time, surely?’ Her well schooled, careless tone was, she knew, ruined kwa a blush.

‘You don’t remember?’

She remembered. aliyopewa a few days warning of his arrival, it hadn’t be difficult to drum up some hungry man who would be glad to have a nyumbani cooked meal. Camouflage so that it wouldn’t look as if she was living in limbo, just waiting for him to come nyumbani and sweep her off her feet, tell her he’d been a fool, pick up where they left off all those years ago.

These days only Owen was left. He’d been brighter then most quickly cottoning on to what she was doing and apparently happy to play the possessive suitor whenever Lucas came home.

Why she’d still been going through the motions after so long she couldn’t say. Unless it was because she still wanted it so badly. That it was herself she was fooling rather then him…

Whatever, she could hardly get indignant if he’d been fooled kwa her deception. Assumed that she’d fallen into kitanda with every one of them as easily as she’d fallen into his.

‘Maybe they could sense the desperation,’ she said, burying her hot cheeks in Grace’s downy head, before holding her out to Lucas. ‘Here,’ she said, placing that baby in his arms. ‘Say hello to Graceilyn Penelope Scott. Better know as Gracie.’

Lucas held her awkwardly and Gracie waved her arms nervously.

‘Hold her closer to you,’ she said, settling her against Lucas; broad chest, taking his arm, moving it, so it was firmly beneath the baby. She was desperately anxious for him to bond with this little girl who would never know her real father. For whom Lucas, no matter how reluctantly, would have to be the male role model.

‘She looks like a Scott, don’t wewe think?’ she suggested. ‘Around the eyes? It’s something about the shape. See?’ The tip of her finger brushed the little tuck in Gracie’s eyelid.

She looked up to see if Lucas was following her and found herself looking at the same familiar feature, deeper stronger in the man.

Lucas felt as if he were caring a parcel of eggs. Just one wrong songesha and they’d be crushed. Maybe Brooke was just as anxious because she kept her arm beneath his, laid her long slender fingers over his hand, as if to steady him.

After a while, as he became zaidi confident, Brooke steeped back, leaving him holding this totally unexpected baby, who bore not the slightest resemblance to his brother. If she looked like anyone it was Brooke, which was strange because she was in no way related to Haley au Nathan. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.

The little tuck in her eyelids was familiar though, and he said, ‘So long as she hasn’t got Nathan’s nose.’

Brooke laughed at that and the sound wrapped itself around his heart, warming him, and he looked up. ‘I wish…’ he began, then stopped, not entirely sure what he was wishing for.

‘Nathan never gave up hoping you’d turn up for the christening,’ she said. ‘He wanted wewe to stand as her godfather.’

‘He knew why I couldn’t be there.’

‘Too busy conquering the world?’ Then, when he didn’t answer, didn’t say anything, ‘Here, let me take her,’ she said, rescuing him. ‘I’ll change her and put her down while wewe have a shower. Then we’ll eat.’

He lifted his head and glad at the change of subject, said, ‘Actually, something dose smell good. How long have I got?’

Oh, half and saa should do it,’ she alisema not waiting to see whether he took her advice, but heading for the stairs and the nursery.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucas let the kuoga pummel him, lowering the temperature gradually until it was cold enough to put the life back into his body, wake up hi brain.

Doing his best to forget the moment when he’d come so close to breaking the promise he’d made to his brother. A promise he’d refused to free him from. Would never be able to free him from. To forget the look on Brooke’s face as she’d looked up, and for just an instant he could have sworn that she’d seen the truth for herself.

He tugged on an old grey bathrobe that had been hanging there for as long as he could remember, waiting for him whenever he was passing through mti Hill. He tired the ukanda and crossed the alcove to a corkboard, he reached over and pulled free a picture, curling with age, that Haley had taken of Nathan and him building the barbecue pit in the yard years ago. The Scott likeness was striking, but he and Nathan where only half brothers and looked zaidi different then they did alike.

He tossed the picha on the dawati and, turning to the closet, hunted out a pair of jeans that weren’t too tight, a sweatshirt that didn’t betray his adolescent taste in music.

Then he cheeked his new BlackBerry for messages, replying to a few that wouldn’t wait. kwa then it was time to go back upstairs to Brooke, and to the miracle and disaster that was Gracie.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Brooke took her time putting Gracie to bed.

She hadn’t been so close, so intimate with Lucas in years and she needed to put a little time and space between them. Get her breathing, her moyo rate back under control.

She didn’t hurry changing her, washing her hands and face, feeding her little arms and legs into clean outfit, all the time talking to her, tickling her tummy, kissing her toes. Telling her she was the most beautiful baby in the world, just as Haley would have done.

Gracie waved a foot at her and she caught it, kissed it, peered into her eyes. Did all babies really have blue eyes? People alisema it was true, but was it? Gracie’s eyes were such a familiar blue.

‘You’re a beautiful, smart girl,’ she alisema doing up the snaps, then picking her up and nuzzling her tummy before putting her in her crib, ‘and you’re going to be just like your daddy.’ She carried on talking to her as she wound the musical mobile, teasing, laughing, once she’d sit it gently turning, imba to her, very softly.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Upstairs, Lucas stopped at the door to his brother’s small study. As always, it was immaculately tidy, with only his address book and an antique silver frame on his desk.

He picked it up, stared at the picture of Haley cradling her new baby daughter. It looked perfect, but it was all so wrong. A lie. Even his perfect brother, who everyone had loved and thought could do no wrong after changing his wicked ways, had one, unexpected human, frailty.

He carfully replace the picture and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Later. He’d go through his papers later. Not that it would take long. He knew all the bills would be paid, life insurance up to date, will filed woth the family lawyer.

The he frowned. Had they changed it since Grace had been born? There hadn’t been much time but Haley had never in the normal way of things, believed in leaving a mess for other people to clean up.

Whatever was going to happen now it seemed likely that Brooke would be the person most affected.

He wondered if she had the least idea how her life was about to change. How, on juu of the loss of her closest friends, she might also lose the house that had become a home. The baby who she so selflessly surrendered and yet hadn’t really surrendered, know that she would always be close to her. That she would still be hers to comfort. To hold….

He wiped those thoughts from his mind, took a breath and pushed open the jikoni door. ‘Sorry,’ he began. ‘I had to make…’ He stopped. Looked around. He could have sworn he’d heard her talking to Gracie but the jikoni was empty.

He shrugged, crossed to the cutlery drawer, planning to set the table. He’d barely opened it when he heard her again.

‘Night-night, Gracie baby…’ she said, laughing softly. ‘Daddy’s gorges little girl.’

He spun around, then saw the baby monitor on the counter. Was it two way? Could she hear him? No, of course not. But even so he stepped away from the drawer, planning to escape before she came down and found him eavesdropping on her private conversation with her baby.

There was the sound of something being wound up. The gentle tinkling of a lullaby. ‘Goodnight, pretty girl. Sleep tight…’

His imagination supplied the vivid image of her bending over to kiss this very precious baby.

And then she began to sing and nothing could have torn him away.

Thanks for kusoma and please review.