Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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Credit to _lina_ and cinders, because they did it first. zaidi credit to link because that's where this is from. _lina_ used the same one.

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Number 1: Someone tells wewe au he admits that he has hit women in the past. He has talked about his killing sprees, he has killed another woman (Yes, she is a vampire. Who cares?) in front of her. Check!

Number 2: He refers to all women he has dated in the past with derogatory terms. He may also refer to his mother using such terms as well. Not sure about checking this one au not. He says she is the first one he dated, but then he talks of Tanya, the denali vampire, in a way that implies he doesn't like her at all. Half check.


Number 3: He tells wewe of abuse he has witnessed au has been a part of toward women. When asked if he has ever sought counseling, he says, "No, I never felt I needed it." He may feel guilty about it and promise that he won't do it to you. He constantly talks about killing her, but later on he starts saying he could never do it to her. This is something he also does in the opposite way, saying he knows he could kill her. Eh, check!

Finds fault with all your family and Marafiki once wewe have confided in him about them au he has met them. Later, he will use what he knows against wewe in an argument. There is a part in the Twilight series, I'm pretty sure it was Eclipse, that Bella talks to edward about not wanting to talk to charlie about going to Florida. Edward then goes ahead and tells charlie about it. Half check. if wewe want to maoni and tell me why it shouldn't be here, au should be a full check, please do.

Number 4:Shows up unannounced at your job, home, au places wewe visit (may lead to stalking). May offer to take wewe to any of these places on a daily basis so that wewe may grow dependent on him. Hmmmmm.... Seriously. He breaks into her room at night and watches her sleep. He also drives her everywhere, even when she blatantly refuses. Major check!

Number 5: Calls wewe often wanting to know your plans and in some cases wewe may have already told him, but he may be checking to see if your story has changed. He expects wewe to call him wherever wewe go and will become angry if wewe don't. Moments in breaking Dawn come to mind. Ditto with Eclipse. The sekunde part (He expects wewe to...) is probably zaidi fitting then the first, but it still works. Check!

Number 6: He doesn't like who he is and makes regular references about himself as being "stupid," "ugly," "dumb," and asks you, "Why do wewe want to be with me?" He will also resort to name calling whether he is arguing with wewe au "just being funny." _lina_ nailed this on the head. If wewe exchange "stupid", "ugly", and "dumb" for "murderer", "monster," and "killer", it works perfectly. The "Why do wewe want to be with me?" explains itself.

Number 7: He attempts to control money wewe have earned and abuses possessions that wewe have acquired. He often asks for financial assistance, takes over your car and tells wewe how wewe should conduct your household. He may encourage wewe to live with him so that he can further control you. A bit skeptical about this one. He doesn't ask for financial assistance au how to conduct her householf. However, he does buy her a new car and expects her to use it. Plus: the new car is kombora, yamuua proof. MISSILES. Also, Edward sets up Bella and Alice for sleepovers many times for when he leaves to go eat a mountain lion. Half check.

Number 8: He threatens to commit suicide when wewe try to break up with him. Self explanatory. He literally attempted suicide. Check!

Number 9: He threatens to kill wewe over anything from wanting to end the relationship to talking to other men. Well, he does get very, very mad at her when she talks to other guys, in particular, Jacob. Another half check.

Number 10: When he is angry with wewe he keeps wewe in a room with no access to a phone. He may lock wewe in the room. Pretty much, he makes Alice kidnap her. He also took the engine out of her car once. check.

Number 11: When wewe want to visit with a friend, go out to the sinema au some other past time, he oftentimes vehemently objects au he uses tactics to make wewe feel guilty so that wewe will stay home. I already mentioned that he took part of the engine out of her car. This was to keep her from seeing Jacob, he best friend. Check.

Number 12: He will try to convince wewe that he is sorry for what he has done and will never do it again, only to do it again, and again. Pretty darn much. Check.



I hope now wewe see the light and that, yes, Edward is abusive. If wewe want to say why one of these should have been a Check!, a half-check, au nothing at all please say why in the comments. If wewe have zaidi reasons Edward is abusive, that is also a good place to put it.
added by marthatsal
posted by TriaRose
Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As wewe have probably guessed, I am uandishi to wewe concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the vitabu as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 au so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then wewe throw in three...
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After kusoma the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" kwa bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella swan a heroine. If wewe do, wewe have got a really great deal of imagination, au a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight mashabiki would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...
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Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the mwandishi of Twilight au her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this makala is purely academic speculation inspired kwa a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every shabiki knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...
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As a shabiki of Twilight, I am part of a lot of related spots and discussions. However, as a Jacob & Bella fan, I often find myself disagreeing with most of the opinions of Twilight fans. In this makala I'll go through some maoni I've read (slightly altered - don't want anyone out to get me!) and why I disagree with them. It's really just an informal rant. :P

'Edward & Bella have things in common unlike Jacob & Bella'

... What exactly? Let me guess: Classical music? Bella knows one song and suddenly they have something in common. They both read? When do we actually read of Bella reading...
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Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the shabiki base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...
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As someone who liked Wanyonya damu before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. au that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do wewe mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't wewe go prove it? I'll wait...

...

...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't...
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Disclaimer: The title of the makala may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my makala that I have ilitumwa on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to orodha my juu 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...
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posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as au zaidi beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do wewe stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do wewe irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why...
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A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P
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added by maritina12345
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rotten tomatoes onyesha
added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but zaidi often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would Wanyonya damu go to high school?”, au “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, au can be logically theorized. These are usually followed kwa “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, au “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, au my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
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Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if wewe don't mind the lulz.
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aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to hariri it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish au discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...
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added by Disaster
added by nuxi
Source: etsy
*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete mtu-bweha have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...
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