She almost couldn’t believe her eyes. Belle had never had a connection to her Mother before, other than the painting that hung in their small drawing room. She died when Belle was just a baby, so she literally had no memory of her, which was most unfortunate. She took it downstairs and showed it to her Father. “Did wewe know about this, Papa?” Belle asked. Maurice took the diary and sat down on the sofa. “No, I didn’t. I just always thought it was another one of your Mothers books. She liked to read like you. She even read to wewe when she was pregnant! A lot of people thought she was silly for doing so, but she alisema she didn’t care, that the baby liked hearing the stories. I never knew it was her diary though. They sat in silence for the longest time.
    “You should take it” Maurice said. “Take it nyumbani with wewe and read it. wewe never got the chance to know your Mother dear, and it’s a shame. Maybe this way wewe could…I don’t know, feel closer to her.” Belle smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I can’t wait to get nyumbani and start kusoma her story. And I can’t wait to tell Adam about this…he will be so shocked.” She stayed a few zaidi hours and visited and headed back nyumbani to the castle. When she got nyumbani she was about to burst…she couldn’t wait to tell Adam her latest news. But what’s more…she couldn’t wait to dive into that diary and learn all about her Mother. 
    Adam was surprised to hear about the diary. “Of course I want to hear zaidi about your siku with your Father, but I know you…you are DYING to start kusoma that diary. Why don’t wewe go to the study and sit kwa the moto where it’s quiet and get some kusoma done?” Oh how she loved this man. Funny to think that just a few short months zamani he was a Beast and she was his prisoner. She hated him at first, now she couldn’t imagine life with him. Just one look from him sent chills all through her body. He pulled her close and kissed her and she was off to the study.

The Diary

Dear Diary,
    I know, I should feel so lucky to live in Paris, the best city in the world…the city of love; but that’s just it. It isn’t the city of upendo to me. I will not have upendo in my life. My Father announced at chajio, chakula cha jioni tonight that I am very soon to be engaged to Auguste D'aubigne. I do not know this man, but know of his family. They are very rich and prominent. But none of that matters to me. I’d rather be married to a poor man that I loved. I guess the only romance in my life from now on will be in my beloved books…unless I choose to run away. But where would I go? How would I survive? My parents would die of the embarrassment that I would cause them. I don’t think I could live with myself. I’m supposed to meet Auguste inayofuata week. Our parents our hosting a big gala to announce the engagement. Who knows…maybe I can make myself fall in upendo with him.

Dear Diary,
    I just got nyumbani from the engagement gala. There is no way I can make myself upendo this man. He's rude and conceited...and I just have an all around bad feeling about him. On the outside everything appears to be ok, but that's where it stops. After chajio, chakula cha jioni he asked me if we could have a moment alone, and we stepped out onto the balcony. I thought maybe he wanted to get to know me better, and go somewhere private to talk. As soon as we were alone, he forced himself on me. I pushed him away, and he slapped me. I just stood there, frozen in fear. No one has ever struck me before. Even as a child, I was never hit. I was always well behaved; just as I am now, marrying a man who does not upendo me for who I am. He told me that since I was soon to be his wife, I better get used to him having his way with me. He forced his mouth onto mine and kissed me hard, and then kissed on my neck. About that time we heard his Father inside, getting ready to toast the happy couple. Auguste took out a big beautiful diamond ring out of his kanzu, koti pocket and forced it onto my hand and we made our way back into the grand room. My Mother and sister approached us and asked me why my face was so red. I was speechless...before I could think of what to say, Auguste alisema "Don't worry about your lovely daughter, Madam....she is simply flushed from the cool night air, and from my gift to her". With that he lifted my hand and showed her my ring. She squealed with delight. He has them all fooled, and I'm trapped. We will have a short engagement, and will be married this summer. I only have a few short months of freedom left. 

Dear Diary,
   Now the courting period has begun. I'll hand it to him...Auguste is a fantastic actor. He comes over everyday at precisely three o'clock for chai with my Mother, my sisters and myself. He always brings me some sort of gift; flowers, jewelry, candy. One siku he really went overboard and showed up with a seamstress with lots of beautiful fabric samples, and told all of us to pick anything out we wanted, that he would pay to have dresses made for all of us. Even if I did upendo this man, the way to my moyo is through affection. upendo can not be purchased. I always smile and thank him, but I'm not grateful. To him I'm just another purchase. He's only tried to force himself on me a few times since the engagement gala. The first time I didn't fight him, I just let him kiss me. But it felt wrong, and made me feel bad for not standing up for myself. So the inayofuata time he tried to kiss me, I pulled away and alisema "No! Auguste, I am your fiancée. wewe should treat me with a little respect and should act the same way that wewe do around my family. wewe are so charming around them, yet when we are alone its like wewe are a different person." I could almost see the veins in his neck start to bulge. Thank the good Lord we were walking in the park and there were people around, because there is no telling what he would have done to me.