Today, I will bring wewe my DP list, arranged from my least inayopendelewa princesses to my most inayopendelewa princesses. But I will do this in a descriptive fashion. I will give wewe a sort of stream-of-consciousness uandishi of DP thoughts.

Ready? Here we go.

The Least Proactive Princesses: These two princesses are both whiny. One has very bad self-control issues tied with her cryokinetic powers ( the child abuse that she suffered as a kid did not help her), while the other was simply lied to, until she came of age. Both respond kwa throwing tantrums in the face of their problems.

13. Elsa “My parents hate my powers and want me to hide myself away, and not let anyone know I have to conceal everything Anna is so pushy she just has one rash idea after the inayofuata great, she upset me, and took off my glove, glovu my powers went everywhere, in front of all of the people I’ve got to get out of here, before people turn on me!!! Sure, I can build an ice palace all kwa myself, no problem however, I can’t stop the winter I caused Nope I lose my temper again, when Anna comes and tries to get me to come back nyumbani I CAN’T!!! Why doesn’t she understand that I’m better off being ALONE The ice leaves my hands and goes right into her chest I really don’t have any control over my anger. Just send the ice monster and get rid of her Hans finds me, too After knocking me out, he drags me back nyumbani to Arendelle He demands that I stop the winter, too I CAN’T. Hans then tells me that Anna died, because I froze her for the sekunde time My insides feel like a bottomless pit The emptiness and pain is acute Anna stops Hans but becomes a huge ice statue I can’t help but hug the ice statue, causing Anna to melt Anna is back!!!! I can’t stop the winter, not until someone literally GIVES ME THE ANSWER Thanks for the tip, Anna Um… did I mention that I’m very insecure?”

12. Aurora “I’m so angry that I can’t see that man, again I’ll throw a lady-like tantrum why, oh why, do I have to be a princess?”

The Bossy Princesses: These three princesses are clustered together because they are all kind of blindsided and irrational when it comes to their wants. One wants “romantic love” to the exclusion of all else, one wants to own a restaurant to the exclusion of all else, and one wants a prince to save her above all else. It takes these princesses a while to quit being such narrow-minded people.

11. Anna “I want a spouse I want upendo right now! I think my sister is holding me back Oh, wait! Maybe, she isn’t, and she’s just misunderstood Wow!! Elsa really doesn’t want me around…. I guess I miscalculated that Bleep, you, Hans!!!! I didn’t expect wewe to turn on me, and be a jerk!!! Hans is going to kill my sister?? I WON’T let that happen I’m going to give Hans a piece of my mind Yes, it felt good to ngumi, punch him I guess Kristoff is nicer to me….”

10. Tiana “I’m a really bossy person because people are racist and I’m sure my dream is going to get yanked right out from under my feet so I have an axe to grind, and this bloke—Naveen--- seems to endanger me from attaining my restaurant where I want respect from people, and I want my sense of accomplishment!!! I HATE Naveen for turning me into a frog!!!!! Okay, Mama Odie I guess my plans were short-sighted I was only focused on one thing---my restaurant--- to the exclusion of everyone and everything else and I guess respect comes along with inaonyesha upendo I can learn to upendo Naveen, somewhat I guess I can make this work”

9. Snow White “Someday my prince will come, and he’ll take away from my drudgery My step-mother wants to kill me, and I need a place to stay. Here, with the dwarfs, is as good a place as any They should learn to wash up before eating meals. They’re kind of dirty, if wewe ask me. Why, oh, why hasn’t my prince showed up, yet? I saw him before When will he onyesha up again? I’ll sing a song about it”

The Gentle Princesses: These two princesses specialize in being kind, sacrificial, and very patient. These characteristics I find to be better qualities than bossiness, being bullheaded to the point of seeming discriminatory, au being preoccupied with only one thing. Belle and Cindy are a step up from the bossy princesses, Anna, Tiana, and Snow White, in my opinion.


8. Belle “I upendo to read, and I want adventure in the great wide, somewhere! I want it zaidi than I can tell and for once it might be grand, to have someone understand that I hate Gaston’s attempts to seduce me He’s gross, conceited, and a boorish fool I don’t want to fill up a house with babies Even if Papa wronged this Beast, it doesn’t mean he should be locked away forever as his prisoner I’ll do it This Beast is a jerk He yells demands at me, forbids me to do things, and basically has no manners whatsoever The talking objects are nice, though This ngome is strange I want to know what is in the West Wing What is that jerk hiding? Oh, a rose Such a beautiful, glowing rose…. The Beast surprises and terrorizes me, to the point where I try to run away But I get cornered kwa Mbwa mwitu loups The Beast fights all of the Mbwa mwitu loups for me He’s wounded. I could still run off home, and not keep my promise to a jerk But a promise is a promise The Beast curses when I try to help him kwa cleaning his wounds and then I tell him the obvious He should learn to control his temper The Beast considers my words and he appears to be changing his mind about how to live his life He even gives me HIS WHOLE maktaba to read I’m ecstatic!!!! But I’m still lonely I miss my Papa The Beast tries to make a nice occasion for me He invites me to a ball-room dance Of course, I have to teach him to quit mashing and standing on my toes--- as he attempts to dance But he picks it up quickly The Beast is far kinder to me than he used to be, but he presses me about my melancholy I tell him that I miss my Papa He shows me my Papa through his magic mirror I beg him to allow me to go see my Papa The Beast surprises me, and agrees I’m so happy, but my happiness turns to horror, when I come nyumbani to Gaston blackmailing me into marrying him to save my father from the institution I tell him no, and I onyesha him the Beast This makes Gaston jealous, so he locks me and my Papa up, and storms the Beast’s ngome This time, I brought the Beast zaidi harm than good I hope he will forgive me Chip gets me and Papa out of the locked cellar, using Papa’s invention I ride headlong for the Beast’s ngome only to encounter the Beast and Gaston fighting on rain-slickened roofs I try to intervene, and this causes the Beast to lose his concentration on the fight at hand Gaston sneaks up behind him and stabs him in the back, through the ribcage Then Gaston loses his footing and drops over the side It takes effort to help the beast back onto the balcony, but he is the worst shape possible I hold him close as he dies, whispering that I upendo him, and telling that he can’t die far too late for that…. The enchantment occurs with the rain and the Beast changes back into a strange young man, who tells me that he, Adam, was the Beast He tells me that I broke the spell He kisses me He greets all of his servants, rejoicing with them He lifts me in his arms, and we are whisked, kwa magic, into the ball-room to dance the whole evening away I think this will be a pleasant life transition, as long as Adam really has changed, and continues to treat me well”


7. cinderella “I think even mice should not be mistreated so I sew them outfits, and remove them from traps I protect the mice from Tremaine’s evil cat, Lucifer I can’t help feeling trapped, myself I wish my step-mother and stepsisters didn’t treat me like dirt I wish I could go to the ball I just want one chance to not always be a servant Tremaine lies to me, and then my step-sisters tear up the last kanzu, gown I have that was my mothers I am heartbroken inside I have no comfort at all My fairy-godmother has mercy on me, though She appears suddenly, and tells me that all my hard work will be rewarded I can go to this ball, after all With magic she gives me a coach, she turns my mice into horses, and my dog into a coachman, and sets my rags into the most gorgeous Disney kanzu, gown there has ever been--- hands down I spend the most wonderful of all evenings dancing with a handsome young man, who presses me to divulge my name, and to stay longer than midnight But I have to run The magic begins disappearing, and I make it nyumbani with only one of the glass shoes to the outfit I hold onto that shoe The inayofuata morning, my step-mother is as harsh as ever, and so are my stepsisters They talk non-stop about a beautiful girl who suddenly appeared at the ball, and with whom the prince was entranced I feel stupefied; I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS THE PRINCE Then a proclamation comes, along with a herald, stating that all women must try on a certain shoe while Tremaine locks me up in the attic But Bruno, my dog, and the mice help fetch Tremaine’s key, and I unlock the door I make it downstairs just in time to see the pair to my glass shoe shatter, and the herald’s shocked face But I quickly step in and save matters, kwa pulling out the other shoe from my pocket and asking him if I may try it on The herald is overjoyed, and, of course, the shoe fits I’m taken back to this mysterious handsome man--- who appears to have been the prince He marries me on the spot It’s a bit of whirlwind for me, but I’m pretty sure that I won’t wake up every morning to wash floors anymore I certainly won’t miss that”





The Peacemaker Princesses: These princess have very different personalities, but both share the theme of not being prejudiced towards others. jimmy, hunitumia is not prejudiced toward people who are poorer than she, and Pocahontas is not prejudiced toward people who have different ideas than her own. I like these concepts, and these princesses.

6. jimmy, hunitumia “ No one asks me what I want I’m not a prize to be won and they should let me participate in making some of the laws governing interactions between royalty and commoners I don’t think commoners are bad people Aladin is a commoner, and I upendo him”

5. Pocahontas “These strangers don’t appreciate the land. John thinks I’m a savage I’ll have to onyesha him that there’s zaidi to life than just claiming land as property I think I upendo John I need to prevent the war from breaking out Good, the war won’t break out, but John is wounded, and can’t stay here with me I will have to stay here still, I will upendo him, and this was a learning experience.”

The Perky, Spirited Princesses: These were a surprise for me. I did not like them immediately, but they were both growers.

4. Merida “ My mother can’t make me marry I won’t let it happen Yes, I ruined her chances of marrying me to those dumbasses from the clans vying for my hand She’s still upset, and she threw my bow into the fire!!!! I NEVER WANT TO BE LIKE HER I’ll feed her this cake and it will change her mind Whoops It changed my mother into A BEAR!!!!! Oh, crap now, what will I do? I guess I can agree to get married, au just--- wait Thanks, mom, for choosing to let me get married when I’m ready I’ll not let wewe HURT my mother!!!! Mom, I really miss you---please don’t go Please!!! Thank God, you’re human I thought I’d Lost wewe forever!! I’ll appreciate wewe zaidi than I ever did In the future, I think I’ll listen to what wewe say, and perhaps you’ll listen to me, too”

3. Rapunzel “Every siku is the same in this tower I do all I can to make myself busy and to while away the hours Now I’m running out of ukuta space to paint Who would climb up into my tower, besides Mother? This is some bila mpangilio fool Great That’s what frying pans are for Good, I knocked him out, and I must shove and hide him somewhere before Mother finds out What is this thing, Pascal? This glittery thing, with the jewels is odd wewe mean, it goes on my head? What a funny object Oh, I know I’ll bargain with this dude to take me out to see those lights I’ve watched from my tower window every mwaka He can keep that weird object he calls “a crown” HOLD IT, wewe two! No Maximus and Eugene, wewe will be Marafiki and that is final Got it? Oh, Eugene might actually like me…. Mother Gothel, you’ve LIED to me this ENTIRE TIME??? Wait! Eugene came back for me? He’s my new dream No, don’t die Please!!! I’ll sing the healing incantation one last time, even if my healing hair is gone Maybe, just maybe, it will help Eugene, oh, thank God!!! My parents? They’re alive, too? Okay, Eugene, wewe can STOP begging me to marry wewe In due time, I will”



The Daring, Sometimes-Make-You-Upset-and-Uncomfortable Princesses: These two are the most controversial. Some people insist that Mulan should not even be included as a princess, because she never marries a prince in the end. Shang is a general. But I digress…. Most people on fanpop hate Ariel for all of the whiny, bratty, headstrong qualities they see in her. They claim she is the worst of the bunch, inaonyesha no concern for anyone, inaonyesha no remorse, and getting her way above all else. Which I think is not a fair assessment. Of all of the princesses, Ariel gets dumped on the most, even zaidi than Elsa. I think people should watch The Little Mermaid The Animated Series before watching the main movie, “The Little Mermaid.” If they did that, they could gain some perspective. No one would need to keep repeating that “Ariel is a spoiled brat,” and could see the WHOLE picture. Yes, Ariel is stubborn and headstrong, but those are only two characteristics to a girl who is also helpful, kind, defiant in the face of prejudice, and interested in protecting her father’s kingdom and her people. It isn’t all about Eric. IT NEVER WAS.
Please go watch The Little Mermaid: The Animated Series. NOT the sequels. The Animated Series. It has 3 Seasons. It could possibly change the way wewe see Ariel!

2. Ariel “ I don’t fit in here, down in the sea I have tried to keep my curiosity at bay, kwa helping out everyone who needs help down here I tried to help those who were ostracized, and I helped Sebastian keep his position as my father’s aide But I can only satisfy my curiosity with my hobby collecting human things I want to be part of that world I want to be human My father doesn’t understand me He thinks my desires are wrong Oh, isn’t Eric dreamy He’s a human and how I wish I could be a human, too, and be part of his world!! Yes, Sebastian, wewe are satisfied with everything in the sea but I’ve seen and explored all of the sea kwa now There’s nothing new around here, anymore My father destroyed EVERYTHING I had that meant something to me I don’t like Ursula, but I want out of here!!! This is probably a mistake I’m making, but I guess I can give it a shot I’ll sign this scroll Ursula doesn’t seem very nice, but she seems to be the bargaining type My father won’t even bargain with me at all After all, it’s just my voice I can still try to make this work Eric is just a very shy guy. I don’t think he will kiss me in time enough for me to stay a human…. Perhaps, I can tell him another way…. Oh, no! Eric is marrying someone else?? Why does my chest feel like it is in pieces? Wait, Scuttle. Slow down. The bride is Ursula in disguise? I’ve got to get Eric to notice me!!! Eric remembers me, but the kiss doesn’t happen soon enough Good-bye, Eric. I’m sorry, Daddy! It wasn’t on purpose I just wanted a new opportunity to explore a new world Papa, NO! Don’t sign the scroll in my stead!! Ursula, wewe MONSTER!!! Wait. Eric came after me?? Yes, I’ll protect Eric’s life for the sekunde time--- and in so doing--- I’ll manage to save my father’s life and my life, too. I’ll save the kingdom kwa making Ursula misfire on her eels. Eric helps me kill Ursula Okay. I guess I’ll stay a mermaid What? My legs are coming back?? My Daddy gave me human legs?? THEN HE DOES UNDERSTAND ME AT LAST!!!! Yes, I will be Eric’s wife Thank wewe everyone for being part of this day, and witnessing the fusion of two worlds

1. Mulan
I’ll never be a perfect bride if I keep messing everything up Is it my fault that I can’t remember the sayings, can’t pour chai under pressure, and drop things continually? I like chess, and I do my share of chores, but I’m not cut out to be a bride, and this upsets my father and he tried not to onyesha it, today, though Now they’ve conscripted my father to go to war He’s got an old wound from the last time He can’t go! Of course, I spoke up out in public again--- and shamed my family in the process Will I ever learn? Okay. I think I could just dress up and go in my father’s stead I could mimic being a soldier, and then father would be salama Mushu is really either going to panya me out, au get me discovered I wonder why I keep him around But at least he helps me, some Shang is kind of hot Crap. Mushu read my thoughts! I finally found a way to get that arrow!!! I am gaining some small measure of respect from my fellow soldiers It’s not easy, but I’m finally getting the hang of all of this I’m so sorry Shang Lost his father I don’t want to lose mine, that‘s why I’m doing all of this…. Good-bye Shan-Yu! Your army IS TOAST!!!! Ha. Yes, I can save Shang’s life but Shan-Yu slashed me in the side…. Oooh, that hurts I’ve been found out!!!! They’re going to behead me What can I say in my defense? I can tell them the truth, and I can say I did this for my father! Shang spares me but orders me abandoned in the mountains I did this all, and I failed I wanted to look at my own reflection and see someone looking back at me who was worthwhile Now I’m useless…. What’s that noise? Some Huns survived? Quick, let’s get to Shang and the rest and try to warn them Of course, now that I’m really a girl, THAT’S A PROBLEM UGH!!!! Why is everyone so rigid and prejudiced about gender??? Right It doesn’t matter now, because Shan Yu has the Emperor We need to stage a break-in Okay. I got Ling, Chien-Po, and Yao to take the Emperor to safety Shang is getting his punda handed to him kwa Shan Yu Shan Yu might slit Shang’s throat…. I’ve got to distract Shan Yu and save Shang’s life again. Okay Best option: RUN. KEEP RUNNING. Oh, good, Mushu Go get some explosives, and meet me on the roof This is getting tricky Crap. Shan Yu has a sword, while I have---a fan--- right But I can do something with that shabiki and take that sword!!! Hahaha Yup I’ll pin Shan Yu and hope Mushu can blow him up Great Roof’s on fire, roof’s on moto Get off the roof, get off the roof!!! I drop through the air and crash into Shang Chi-Fu is upset as always, and the Emperor sounds upset…but then he sounds grateful?? He bows to me??! Wait. Everyone else is now bowing to me. This is…awkward. I don’t want to take Chi-Fu’s job The Emperor gives me gifts to honor my family, instead When I songesha to leave, Shang blocks my path. I wait for him to tell me thanks for all the help. Instead, he tells me that “I fight good” Really? Well. That’s a line I haven’t heard before I’d better get nyumbani I give everything the Emperor gave me to father He tells me that the greatest gift and honor is having me for a daughter I’m so happy to see him!!! Shang followed me home!?! I guess I can offer him chajio, chakula cha jioni if nothing else Yes, I like him…and apparently, he might like me, too Eh Not so bad I’ll go thank Mushu for his help That wisecracking, annoying dragon was my friend, and he stayed at my side, and helped me after all It’s good to have true friends.

Thanks for indulging. If anything struck your fancy, say so below.

-iwasneverhere