I apologize for my behavior from the last couple days. I don’t do well with losing, not in this category, anyway, but the way I’ve handled it was out of line.
The only reason I acted like a first class bitch, kahaba was to prevent myself from bursting into tears. I know it shouldn’t be such a big deal, but it is to me. That’s what I do, when I’m upset. I become this spoiled brat, who I don’t even like myself, when all I want to do is cry.
It’s not an excuse, I know that. I just wanted to explain myself.
I guess, in the heat of the competition, I forgot why I wrote ‘The Host’ in the first place. Obviously, I didn’t write it for FGT, because it was already written in 2009. I wrote it for Delena, I wrote it for the Delena fandom, and I wrote it for myself.
The Host is a great story. Even now, people are complimenting me for it. The Delena mashabiki upendo it, and that’s what matters. Just because three people decided it wasn’t good enough to be considered for the finals, doesn’t mean it isn’t good enough. It’s just their opinion, it isn’t fact.
Each and every finalist rightfully deserved their spot, and inayofuata mwaka I’m going to be one of them.
Fact is, I had a lot of fun uandishi it, even cried a little, and I wouldn’t change a thing. And I’m grateful to everyone who has read it.
So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to work even harder on Foster Careless (The Following), if that is even possible. It’s going to be full of angst, romance, tragedy, and I promise you, wewe will be blown away. And inayofuata year, it will be in the finals. I’ll make sure of that.
The only reason I acted like a first class bitch, kahaba was to prevent myself from bursting into tears. I know it shouldn’t be such a big deal, but it is to me. That’s what I do, when I’m upset. I become this spoiled brat, who I don’t even like myself, when all I want to do is cry.
It’s not an excuse, I know that. I just wanted to explain myself.
I guess, in the heat of the competition, I forgot why I wrote ‘The Host’ in the first place. Obviously, I didn’t write it for FGT, because it was already written in 2009. I wrote it for Delena, I wrote it for the Delena fandom, and I wrote it for myself.
The Host is a great story. Even now, people are complimenting me for it. The Delena mashabiki upendo it, and that’s what matters. Just because three people decided it wasn’t good enough to be considered for the finals, doesn’t mean it isn’t good enough. It’s just their opinion, it isn’t fact.
Each and every finalist rightfully deserved their spot, and inayofuata mwaka I’m going to be one of them.
Fact is, I had a lot of fun uandishi it, even cried a little, and I wouldn’t change a thing. And I’m grateful to everyone who has read it.
So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to work even harder on Foster Careless (The Following), if that is even possible. It’s going to be full of angst, romance, tragedy, and I promise you, wewe will be blown away. And inayofuata year, it will be in the finals. I’ll make sure of that.
I lay on my bed,
daydreaming, listening.
Listening to my mind telling stories.
Stories of myself if I was an actress,
an mwandishi au scientist.
It always seems so close, but just out reach,
daydreaming, thinking, listening to my mind.
please, cant they come true?
if i try hard enough
maybe they will
wewe cant just wish upon a star
that only takes wewe halfway
do the rest yourself
au it forever remains a daydream.
life is a funny thing,
wewe have to work for everything,
even if wewe dont realise it.
it is one long journey,
and death is not the end.
it is simply the begining
of an even greater adventure.
daydreaming, listening.
Listening to my mind telling stories.
Stories of myself if I was an actress,
an mwandishi au scientist.
It always seems so close, but just out reach,
daydreaming, thinking, listening to my mind.
please, cant they come true?
if i try hard enough
maybe they will
wewe cant just wish upon a star
that only takes wewe halfway
do the rest yourself
au it forever remains a daydream.
life is a funny thing,
wewe have to work for everything,
even if wewe dont realise it.
it is one long journey,
and death is not the end.
it is simply the begining
of an even greater adventure.