Friends: 13 ways the onyesha could have been TOTALLY different based on the original script 

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, we can all agree, is perfect. We wouldn\'t have it any other way. And having watched every episode about 327 times (on a conservative estimate), we know it word for word. So when we stumbled across the original script for the pilot, we were shocked to discover how different

We\'re not just talking about the slightly dodgy jokes that didn\'t make the final cut (of which there are

a few). We\'re talking about things that made either our beloved pilot

different - or could have changed the actual show forever. Read on for 13 ways it

1. THERE COULD HAVE BEEN A DIFFERENT TITLE

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, the writers wheeled through loads of options before settling on a name that we now kind of resent for being difficult to Google. But they still hadn\'t got there by the time they wrote the pilot, as the show is called

Phoebe was always intended to be a bit… kooky. Her guitar-playing and terrible songs are baked right into the original script, along with her tragic and slightly insane back story and her attempts to cleanse Ross\'s aura. But while we\'ve always thought Phoebe is, well, a bit of a meanie, the original character description calls her "sweet" and "a good soul". And one of her best (admittedly cruel) lines is cut out. We all know when Joey invites her to help Ross with his flatpack furniture, she replies: "I wish I could, but I don\'t want to." The original script, though? "I wish I could. I can\'t. I\'ve got to work tonight." What the hell is that?

On top of all this, though, the character description for Phoebe proudly announces that she "sells barrettes on the street". Yep, as in hair clips. While we can imagine this being one of Pheebs\' hair-brained schemes, the whole \'masseuse\' thing isn\'t mentioned once.

PHOEBE COULD HAVE BEEN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP SORTA GIRL

We all know Phoebe was never a long-term relationship kinda girl until she met Mike. Heck, she had a whole freak-out about it. Sure, there was David, but then he moved to Minsk and that all went to pot (we\'re still pulling for you, David). And she

move in with Gary but that only lasted one night and then he shot a bird. Basically, though, we know Phoebe as the sort of woman who never quite settled down.

It could have been so different, though, thanks to one cut line in the pilot where Phoebe says she doesn\'t hate dating and Monica replies: "That\'s cause you don\'t date. You just move in with guys." Um, what now?

You might not be Joey\'s biggest fan, but you could hardly describe him as "macho" and "smug" as the original script did. Perhaps Matt LeBlanc\'s innate charm shone through too much to make him the womanising bastard they wanted. Thank goodness, because it really does sound like he was going to be a douche - the description continues: "Wants to be an actor. Actually, wants to be Al Pacino. Loves women, sports, women, New York, women and most of all Joey."

We know what you\'re thinking. What about the sandwiches? We think that particular character trait might have been poached from Chandler, who we learn in the original character description "survives by way of his sense of humour. And snacks."

5. ROSS MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN TOO BOTHERED ABOUT THE WHOLE DINOSAUR THING

Ross\'s character description is mostly bang on ("intelligent, emotional, romantic, Monica\'s brother, suddenly divorced") - and then you get to this line: "A palaeontologist. Not that it matters." NOT THAT IT MATTERS?

6. RACHEL MIGHT HAVE HAD AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT IDENTITY

Rachel does indeed burst into Central Perk (which, by the way, is only described as "coffee house" in the script) in her wedding dress, as we\'re accustomed to. But then Ross asks: "Isn\'t that Rachel Robbins?" No, Ross. No, it isn\'t. It\'s Rachel Green. God.

7. MONICA COULD HAVE BEEN REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BITTER ABOUT RACHEL (LIKE, REALLY)

We all know there\'s still some lingering resentment from Monica about Rachel\'s privileged, happy upbringing as the popular girl in school. But it\'s so strong in the pilot that Monica comes across as a right bitter nancy, to be honest with you. After all, Rachel has literally just run out on her wedding. It\'s not like things are going well for her.

©  Getty Images Reisig & Taylor/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank

But in the original script, selfish Monica complains about not being invited to the doomed nuptials on multiple occasions and introduces Rach to the rest of the gang as: "This is Rachel, who I

was my best friend in high school." Ouch. She doesn\'t hold back on the jabs in the rest of the episode, either; at one point, she snarks: "We\'ve all gotten along fine without your father\'s money, you can too."

Worst of all, Monica really doesn\'t want to be Rachel\'s roommate. Sure, in the final cut of the pilot she\'s not exactly thrilled about the idea, but she is even harsher in the original script, whether she\'s huffing "the minute we start sharing clothes or giving each other bikini waxes you\'re outta here" or complaining: "I mean, this is high school all over again. I work every afternoon, every weekend for two years to buy this horrible Chevette held together with band-aids and no windows. Her father buys her a BMW convertible." To be honest, we think we could have ended up really hating Monica.

8. AND ACTUALLY, MONICA\'S PARENTS WOULD HAVE BEEN JUSTIFIED IN NOT BEING A MASSIVE FAN OF HER BECAUSE SHE\'S KIND OF A DICK

©  Getty Images Alice S. Hall/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank

\' best, longest-running gags is that Monica\'s parents favour Ross over her. Most of this humour comes from the fact that Monica is actually a super daughter and it\'s really unfair. In the original pilot, though? We actually kind of sympathise with them. In a cut line, Ross tells Monica that it\'s their dad\'s birthday the next day. "Oh great," Monica grumps. "Wait \'til today to tell me. Like I can really get a card to him by tomorrow. Jerk." Erm, Monica? Forgetting your dad\'s birthday is a no-no, and calling your brother a jerk when he\'s going through a divorce?

9. RACHEL COULD HAVE RUINED THE TELENOVELA GAME

One of our favourite bits in the pilot has to be the gang sat around the telly making up their own lines for a Spanish telenovela ("PUSH HER DOWN THE STAIRS!"). In the script, though, Rachel completely ruins it by revealing that she took Spanish in college and explaining what\'s really going on. Joey even moans that she\'s taken all the fun of it. (PS As if Rachel actually learnt anything in college?)

10. THE \'YOU\'RE A SHOE\' SPEECH MIGHT NEVER HAVE HAPPENED

IT\'S A METAPHOR, DADDY! One of the most iconic moments in the

pilot has to be Rachel\'s dodgy grasp of literary devices as she tries to explain to her dad why she\'s just become a runaway bride ("You can see where he had trouble," Ross notes). But this appears nowhere in the original script, which concludes with just: "Daddy, please don\'t yell. I— May I speak? May I speak? May I speak?" Well, that\'s rubbish, to be frank.

11. MONICA MIGHT NEVER HAVE SMASHED PAUL THE WINE GUY\'S WATCH

We\'re very glad this was eventually added to the episode - we needed the righteous indignation. 

he\'s never even called Paul the Wine Guy until far too late in the original episode. (He does use that line about not being able to \'perform\' for years on Monica, though. And it does work.)

12. RACHEL AND CHANDLER COULD HAVE WORKED TOGETHER

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Wait, what? Obviously when Rachel moves in with Monica she has to go and get herself one of "those job things", and bizarrely, in the original script she ends up being interviewed by Chandler. Imagine - instead of pouring coffee at Central Perk, she could have been inputting numbers that don\'t really matter.

Actually, that\'s stretching the truth a bit - she couldn\'t have, because it pretty quickly becomes clear that with no previous experience, no job skills and a bachelor\'s in art history with a minor in dance, Rachel is not a good fit for Chandler\'s company. In fact, she does go to Bloomingdales\' for an interview as an assistant buyer - though she doesn\'t get it, that was clearly always in her future. In fact, she runs into Joey at the store where he\'s working as a cologne spritzer. The writers must have loved that idea - it might not have made it into the pilot, but we can all remember Joey having that job in a season two episode which saw him going up against The Hombre Man. (And don\'t worry too much - Rachel is indeed installed at Central Perk at the end of the script.)

is one of the best shows ever when it comes to cliffhangers (Ross saying \'Rachel\'! The Vegas wedding!) - and it seems like the writers always loved a good ending, because the original script ends with Ross discovering that his ex-wife Carol is pregnant ("Is it mine?" "Well, we know it\'s not Susan\'s."). This was all gone from the final cut of the pilot, with Carol\'s pregnancy shunted to the middle of episode two - but looking back, it seems that all the things that made

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