Rachel: wewe guys, I've never been this nervous and excited in my entire life. My future depends on if I make it in this audition. If I make this, I'll be on my way to achieving my--
Santana (annoyed): Okay, quit the yapping.
Mercedes: Yeah, you've been talking about this for far too long.
Rachel: This is literally the biggest moment of my life.
Santana: Yeah, yeah. So is the cancellation of "One mti Hill".
Rachel: Never mind.
(At that moment, Blaine walked past, crying. Kurt tried catching up, but Lost sight of him when he ran into the girls.)
Mercedes: Kurt, what's wrong with him?
Santana (chuckles): Let me guess. wewe told him to loose the bowties, right?
Kurt: I don't know what happened. I mean, I was talking with him last night about packing my stuff and getting ready for when I go to New York. Then he started crying and screaming New York every chance he gets.
(The four of them hear Blaine down the hall.)
Blaine (sobbing) : My baby's going to New York! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
(Silence.)
Kurt (indicating Blaine): Do wewe see what I mean?
Mercedes: He's really upset.
Rachel: I thought he would be happy.
Santana: I take back what I alisema last week. He sounds terrible when he cries, not sings. I mean, do wewe hear him?
Mercedes (irritated): Santana?
Santana (sweetly): Sorry. Snix told me to say it. (To herself.) Snix, shut up! (She changes back to her alter ego.) Oh, f*ck you, Santana. F*ck wewe and your friends!
Mercedes: Um...okay.
(That evening, Blaine was in the bathroom at his house, staring into the mirror and crying his eyes out. Kurt stepped in.)
Kurt: Are wewe okay? All day, you've been crying like a little b*tch. Even the stupidest Cheerio in the whole school thought wewe were such a sissy little girl.
Blaine: wewe don't understand at all, do you?
Kurt: No.
Blaine: You're leaving soon, Kurt!
Kurt: So what?
Blaine: It means that you'll be in another state, while I'm here in Ohio...all kwa myself, listening to all of Mr. Schue's ridiculous stories about going to his students' houses and making sure if they're "doing their homework" au whatever the hell he meant!
Kurt: Mr. Schue likes all of us? What's the big deal? I mean, wewe do have to worry about when he gives those group hugs, 'cause he might touch your butt.
Blaine: What?
Kurt: The point is that, you're not gonna be kwa yourself.
Blaine (sitting on the edge of the bathtub): What makes wewe so sure? wewe could be spending all of the time in the world in New York, and I could never get at least a text message from you. How do wewe think that's gonna make me feel?
Kurt: I promise to text you, Blaine. Do wewe think that kwa the time I songesha to New York, it's gonna change me? No. I'll be the same Kurt Hummel...the one loves my bowtie-wearing boyfriend.
Blaine: Really?
Kurt: Really.
Blaine: I upendo you, Kurt.
Kurt: I know. I upendo you, too.
Blaine: I just wanna hug wewe and never let wewe go.
Kurt: Me too, buddy.
Blaine: I just want to kiss on your pretty little porcelain, tiled face, and pounce on those luscious thighs--
Kurt: Uh, what the hell?
Blaine (aggressively): Oh, God, do wewe realize how much I want to f*ck wewe right now, Kurt?!
Kurt (shocked): BLAINE!
(Silence.)
Blaine (embarrassed): Too dirty?
Kurt's Thoughts: Uh...hell yes.
Well, what do wewe think? I hope wewe liked it.
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-One!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-Three!!!
