201. I will not melt if water is poured over me.
202. -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
203. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.
204. I am not a Wirn animagus, either.
205. I will not ask Aragog if he came from Metabelis III.
206. -Or if he has any pretty blue crystals.
207. "Nessie is actually a cyborg created kwa the Zygons" is not an appropriate thing to say in Care of MagicalCreatures Class.
208. While it is appropriate to refer to Voldemort as "Master" while in his service, Voldemort and The Master are not one and the same.
209. I cannot substitute Prydonian robes for my Hogwarts uniform.
210. -Nor can my winter scarf be longer than standard issue.
211. I cannot attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
212. -Or transform a pepperpot into a Dalek.
213. Lucius Malfoy is not my "sugar daddy" and I will not claim he is.
214. -That goes double when Draco Malfoy is within earshot.
215. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
216. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
217. I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.
218. My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
219. No part of the school uniform is edible.
220. -Not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
221. Not allowed to take house points from firsties for "being too goddamned short".
222. Never, ever, attempt to correct Professor Moody about anything.
223. I must not refer to Headmaster Dumbledore as "Mum".
224. -Nor Professor Snape.
225. Not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
226. -Not allowed to use silencing charms my Prefects.
227. -Not allowed to use silencing charms, period.
228. Not allowed to prophesy the end of the world zaidi than once.
229. Will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures.
230. -Especially not if I actually have them.
231. Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. Will not ask her to share.
232. -Also will not ask her to fly under the influence.
233. Will not try to recreate the Whomping Willow in herbology class.
234. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted kwa aliens.
235. Will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.
236. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
237. I am not allowed to charm the words ferret, chororo-kaya Boy onto Dracos forehead.
238. I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.
239. Especially if it is only a one-way ticket.
240. imba 99 Bottles of Potion on the ukuta nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.
241. Playgirl and Playboy are not on the kusoma orodha for muggle studies.
242. Woad and other camoflage/body paints are not needed for DADA.
243. I may not challenge prefects to Meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn.
244. I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.
245. I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating picha of my house prefects au tutors.
246. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.
247. I should not onyesha up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.
248. -Even if my prefect did it.
249. I will not only wear "Wizard hat, open vazi & tie" and call it an authorized uniform
.250. Teaching exchange students to taunt other Hufflepuffs is not nice.
251. When detained kwa dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.
252. Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.
253. I will not refer to McGonagall as "the cat-girl.
254. - Nor will I attempt to stop her transformation part way through.
255. - The same goes for Hermione.
256. I will not hand red shirts to the new DADA professor and claim that they're the standard uniform for the position.
257. I will not use invisibility charms on anyones clothing.
258. I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
259. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover
.260. I will not test my Potions assigments kwa spiking Snape's drink with them.
261. - Especially not all of them at once.
262. I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
263. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.
264. It doesn't matter if he is going on vacation; I will not maoni about how the Minister of Magic is "packing.
265. The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it onthe new moon.
266. I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.
267. - Likewise the satellite dish.
268. The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy au any of the other Slytherinboys if they've mastered it yet.
269. The Muggle known as George W. kichaka is not related to au working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.
270. I will stop sending Professor Snape forged upendo notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.
271. I will stop asking Professor Lupin exactly what goes on between him and Professor Snape when he brings him the Wolfsbane potion every month.
272. Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'
.273. Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
274. Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
275. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.
276. I am not to stare at the Great Hall ceiling during chajio, chakula cha jioni in the winter and cry 'My god, it's full of stars!'
277. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office'.
278. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied kwa the house elves uigizaji as a backing group.
279. -Especially not with kazoos.
280. The research and manufacture of mind-altering substances will not gain me extra credit in Potions.
281. I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing kwa the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
282. When being interrogated kwa a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids youare looking for'.
283. Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
284. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'
285. I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher.
286. -I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape.
287. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile,Robin!'
288. - au 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'
289. Professor Flitwick is not to be referred to as the 'Dungeon Master'.
290. I will not try to convert my housemates to Christianity.
291. -Or Wicca.
292. -This does not mean that my religious rights are being violated.
293. I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.
294. -Or the referee.
295. I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse.
296. I will not insult people and then say I was aliyopewa Veritaserum.
297. -I will not give people Veritaserum.
298. The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.
299. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
300. -Neither is Professor Snape
202. -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
203. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.
204. I am not a Wirn animagus, either.
205. I will not ask Aragog if he came from Metabelis III.
206. -Or if he has any pretty blue crystals.
207. "Nessie is actually a cyborg created kwa the Zygons" is not an appropriate thing to say in Care of MagicalCreatures Class.
208. While it is appropriate to refer to Voldemort as "Master" while in his service, Voldemort and The Master are not one and the same.
209. I cannot substitute Prydonian robes for my Hogwarts uniform.
210. -Nor can my winter scarf be longer than standard issue.
211. I cannot attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
212. -Or transform a pepperpot into a Dalek.
213. Lucius Malfoy is not my "sugar daddy" and I will not claim he is.
214. -That goes double when Draco Malfoy is within earshot.
215. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
216. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
217. I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.
218. My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
219. No part of the school uniform is edible.
220. -Not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
221. Not allowed to take house points from firsties for "being too goddamned short".
222. Never, ever, attempt to correct Professor Moody about anything.
223. I must not refer to Headmaster Dumbledore as "Mum".
224. -Nor Professor Snape.
225. Not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
226. -Not allowed to use silencing charms my Prefects.
227. -Not allowed to use silencing charms, period.
228. Not allowed to prophesy the end of the world zaidi than once.
229. Will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures.
230. -Especially not if I actually have them.
231. Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. Will not ask her to share.
232. -Also will not ask her to fly under the influence.
233. Will not try to recreate the Whomping Willow in herbology class.
234. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted kwa aliens.
235. Will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.
236. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
237. I am not allowed to charm the words ferret, chororo-kaya Boy onto Dracos forehead.
238. I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.
239. Especially if it is only a one-way ticket.
240. imba 99 Bottles of Potion on the ukuta nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.
241. Playgirl and Playboy are not on the kusoma orodha for muggle studies.
242. Woad and other camoflage/body paints are not needed for DADA.
243. I may not challenge prefects to Meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn.
244. I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.
245. I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating picha of my house prefects au tutors.
246. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.
247. I should not onyesha up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.
248. -Even if my prefect did it.
249. I will not only wear "Wizard hat, open vazi & tie" and call it an authorized uniform
.250. Teaching exchange students to taunt other Hufflepuffs is not nice.
251. When detained kwa dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.
252. Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.
253. I will not refer to McGonagall as "the cat-girl.
254. - Nor will I attempt to stop her transformation part way through.
255. - The same goes for Hermione.
256. I will not hand red shirts to the new DADA professor and claim that they're the standard uniform for the position.
257. I will not use invisibility charms on anyones clothing.
258. I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
259. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover
.260. I will not test my Potions assigments kwa spiking Snape's drink with them.
261. - Especially not all of them at once.
262. I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
263. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.
264. It doesn't matter if he is going on vacation; I will not maoni about how the Minister of Magic is "packing.
265. The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it onthe new moon.
266. I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.
267. - Likewise the satellite dish.
268. The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy au any of the other Slytherinboys if they've mastered it yet.
269. The Muggle known as George W. kichaka is not related to au working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.
270. I will stop sending Professor Snape forged upendo notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.
271. I will stop asking Professor Lupin exactly what goes on between him and Professor Snape when he brings him the Wolfsbane potion every month.
272. Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'
.273. Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
274. Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
275. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.
276. I am not to stare at the Great Hall ceiling during chajio, chakula cha jioni in the winter and cry 'My god, it's full of stars!'
277. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office'.
278. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied kwa the house elves uigizaji as a backing group.
279. -Especially not with kazoos.
280. The research and manufacture of mind-altering substances will not gain me extra credit in Potions.
281. I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing kwa the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
282. When being interrogated kwa a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids youare looking for'.
283. Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
284. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'
285. I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher.
286. -I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape.
287. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile,Robin!'
288. - au 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'
289. Professor Flitwick is not to be referred to as the 'Dungeon Master'.
290. I will not try to convert my housemates to Christianity.
291. -Or Wicca.
292. -This does not mean that my religious rights are being violated.
293. I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.
294. -Or the referee.
295. I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse.
296. I will not insult people and then say I was aliyopewa Veritaserum.
297. -I will not give people Veritaserum.
298. The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.
299. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
300. -Neither is Professor Snape
Oh Simon! You amused me!
