1. Tell her Ron proposed to Lavender in Madam Puddifoot's.
2. Tell her McGonagall alisema that her ujumla, jumla OWL results would have been a T, but they decided that would have been an insult to trolls.
3. Frequently inquire as to why she is wasting time knitting all those woolly bladders and leaving them lying around the common room.
4. When wewe ask why she's angry with Pansy Parkinson, and she tells wewe it's because Pansy just compared her to a chipmunk, act confused and say: "But why are wewe so upset? I thought wewe valued honesty in others?"
5. Whenever something in Hogwarts isn't working properly, say loudly: "I reckon it's those stupid house elves' fault. Dumbledore's much too soft with them. . . ."
6. Say to her: "You remind me of a movie star." When she beams at you, say: "Yes, it's incredibly hard to find somebody who looks like Bugs Bunny, but with those front teeth of yours you're the spitting image of him."
7. Inform her you've just read Rita Skeeter's makala about her and Harry and Krum. Tell her she's not worthy of either boy and that "Harry Potter has had to endure enough tragedy without having a scarlet woman rip his moyo out."
8. Tell her that when Harry and Ron ran into the bathroom to rescue her from the mountain troll, they had to pause for a moment to figure out which one was the troll and which one was Hermione.
9. Constantly try to solve the mysteries of Hogwarts kwa saying: "It's obvious, isn't it? As soon as he heard Dumbledore coming towards him, he must have disapparated out of Hogwarts!"
10. In lessons, always answer maswali kwa heavily misquoting Hermione's favourite textbooks, using her exact know-it-all tone of voice. When the teacher tells wewe that you're incorrect, state that it's not your fault because wewe were only saying what Hermione said.
11. Take a leaf out of Ron's book and imitate her bouncing up and down in her chair trying to answer a question.
12. After Slughorn's krisimasi party, say to her, "Hermione, Cormac's been looking all over for you" - every siku for three weeks.
13. After Gryffindor Quidditch try outs in sixth year, follow her around saying loudly, "Hey prefect! Confunded anyone lately?"
14. Quote Malfoy. "Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers."
15. When aliyopewa a mountain of homework, sigh and say in a squeaky house-elf sounding voice: "No sick days. No payment. No job satisfaction. So much work we has, miss!"
2. Tell her McGonagall alisema that her ujumla, jumla OWL results would have been a T, but they decided that would have been an insult to trolls.
3. Frequently inquire as to why she is wasting time knitting all those woolly bladders and leaving them lying around the common room.
4. When wewe ask why she's angry with Pansy Parkinson, and she tells wewe it's because Pansy just compared her to a chipmunk, act confused and say: "But why are wewe so upset? I thought wewe valued honesty in others?"
5. Whenever something in Hogwarts isn't working properly, say loudly: "I reckon it's those stupid house elves' fault. Dumbledore's much too soft with them. . . ."
6. Say to her: "You remind me of a movie star." When she beams at you, say: "Yes, it's incredibly hard to find somebody who looks like Bugs Bunny, but with those front teeth of yours you're the spitting image of him."
7. Inform her you've just read Rita Skeeter's makala about her and Harry and Krum. Tell her she's not worthy of either boy and that "Harry Potter has had to endure enough tragedy without having a scarlet woman rip his moyo out."
8. Tell her that when Harry and Ron ran into the bathroom to rescue her from the mountain troll, they had to pause for a moment to figure out which one was the troll and which one was Hermione.
9. Constantly try to solve the mysteries of Hogwarts kwa saying: "It's obvious, isn't it? As soon as he heard Dumbledore coming towards him, he must have disapparated out of Hogwarts!"
10. In lessons, always answer maswali kwa heavily misquoting Hermione's favourite textbooks, using her exact know-it-all tone of voice. When the teacher tells wewe that you're incorrect, state that it's not your fault because wewe were only saying what Hermione said.
11. Take a leaf out of Ron's book and imitate her bouncing up and down in her chair trying to answer a question.
12. After Slughorn's krisimasi party, say to her, "Hermione, Cormac's been looking all over for you" - every siku for three weeks.
13. After Gryffindor Quidditch try outs in sixth year, follow her around saying loudly, "Hey prefect! Confunded anyone lately?"
14. Quote Malfoy. "Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers."
15. When aliyopewa a mountain of homework, sigh and say in a squeaky house-elf sounding voice: "No sick days. No payment. No job satisfaction. So much work we has, miss!"
The following is from The Whimsic Alley Book of Spells. Any irony present is not intended kwa me.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
kwa Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as wewe say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink cartridge, katriji ya (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
wewe need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the inayopendelewa drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will kitanda yours to command.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
kwa Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as wewe say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink cartridge, katriji ya (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
wewe need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the inayopendelewa drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will kitanda yours to command.