For the record I did not write this. I found it online and thought it needed to be shared! Enjoy!
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate tarehe to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to onyesha me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana au hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for zaidi than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the krisimasi Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy muziki while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
30) I will not go to class skyclad.
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told wewe I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
34) I will not start every potion's class kwa asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an machungwa, chungwa anorak.
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
51) But yes, I will do it all anyway.
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate tarehe to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to onyesha me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana au hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for zaidi than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the krisimasi Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy muziki while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
30) I will not go to class skyclad.
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told wewe I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
34) I will not start every potion's class kwa asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an machungwa, chungwa anorak.
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
51) But yes, I will do it all anyway.
There is the ranking of juu 6 Defence Against The Dark Arts Teachers, The number 1 means the Best, While the number 6 means the worst.
List:
*1. Remus Lupin - Because He is Affable, Friendly, Polite, Wise, Intelligent, Reasonable and Kind-Hearted Gentleman, Despite He is Were-Wolf.
*2. Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody - Because He is Cool and Awesome in his own way, He reminds me of Doctor N.Gin from Crash Bandicoot Video Games.
*3. Severus Snape - He is maybe a Snarky, Sarcastic, Stoic, Icy and Cold Person on the Outside, But He can be a Good Person on the Inside.
*4. Gilderoy Lockhart - Because He is Vain, Narcissistic, Over-Confident, Cocky and Foppish Showboat, But He is very Hilarious.
*5. Quirinus Quirrell - Because He is Shy, Meek, Timid and Nervous, But He is a Plot-Twist Villain.
*6. Dolores Umbridge - Because She is a Monstrous and Sadistic Jerk without any Sympathetic, Reasonable, Redeemable and Positive Qualities.
List:
*1. Remus Lupin - Because He is Affable, Friendly, Polite, Wise, Intelligent, Reasonable and Kind-Hearted Gentleman, Despite He is Were-Wolf.
*2. Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody - Because He is Cool and Awesome in his own way, He reminds me of Doctor N.Gin from Crash Bandicoot Video Games.
*3. Severus Snape - He is maybe a Snarky, Sarcastic, Stoic, Icy and Cold Person on the Outside, But He can be a Good Person on the Inside.
*4. Gilderoy Lockhart - Because He is Vain, Narcissistic, Over-Confident, Cocky and Foppish Showboat, But He is very Hilarious.
*5. Quirinus Quirrell - Because He is Shy, Meek, Timid and Nervous, But He is a Plot-Twist Villain.
*6. Dolores Umbridge - Because She is a Monstrous and Sadistic Jerk without any Sympathetic, Reasonable, Redeemable and Positive Qualities.
All who Died in Harry Potter(Most of Them Anyway)
Cedric Diggory, Professor Quirrell
Dobby, The Basalisk
Bilius Weasley, Barty Crouch Sr.
Igor Karkaroff, Aragog
Tonks, Bloody Baron
Professor Lupin, Helena Ravenclaw
Mad Eye Moody, Helga Hufflepuff
Bellatrix, Godric Gryffindor
Voldemort, Salzar Slytherin
Fred Weasley, Regulus Black
James Potter, Rufus Scrimigeour
Lily Potter, Gregorovitch
Severus Snape, Grindlewald
Ollivander, Vincent Crabbe
Albus Dumbledore, Lavender Brown
Sirius Black, Colin Creevey
Peter Petigrew , Nagini
Octavius Pepper
Charity Burbage
Bathilda Bagshot
Hedwig
Cedric Diggory, Professor Quirrell
Dobby, The Basalisk
Bilius Weasley, Barty Crouch Sr.
Igor Karkaroff, Aragog
Tonks, Bloody Baron
Professor Lupin, Helena Ravenclaw
Mad Eye Moody, Helga Hufflepuff
Bellatrix, Godric Gryffindor
Voldemort, Salzar Slytherin
Fred Weasley, Regulus Black
James Potter, Rufus Scrimigeour
Lily Potter, Gregorovitch
Severus Snape, Grindlewald
Ollivander, Vincent Crabbe
Albus Dumbledore, Lavender Brown
Sirius Black, Colin Creevey
Peter Petigrew , Nagini
Octavius Pepper
Charity Burbage
Bathilda Bagshot
Hedwig
