True Love, aka Agape ("selfless love", greek) - A verb zaidi than a noun. An action/commitment, not a feeling. True Love, though often associated with romance, is not always romantic...nor is it Romance in and of itself. True upendo goes far beyond romance. In fact, it's zaidi about friendship than romance. Roses and candlelight come and go; but a deep friendship can last a lifetime.
It isn't about fireworks au warm, fuzzy butterflies in your stomach. It's simply about knowing the best, the worst and the just-plain-weird about someone and sticking to them ANYWAY.
It can be between Marafiki and family as well as lovers and soul-mates, and can be a life-long bond. True upendo is unconditional, sacrificial and absolutely selfless, thinking of the other person's needs first and foremost. True upendo is when no matter what - for better au worse, rich au poor, sickness au health, warm-fuzzies au no warm fuzzies - wewe commit to each other. True upendo is willing to wait and respects boundaries. (See 1 Corinthians 13 for zaidi information.)
Now how can wewe tell the difference between a glorified crush and the genuine thing?
Well, a crush (or a fleeting infatuation) has a tendency to focus on how the other person affects you, though wewe may not always be aware of it. It says "He makes ME feel special! He's the perfect guy for me, just think of all he'll do to make me feel good, he cares about me, I want him to stay with me, me me ME..."
upendo is the exact opposite. It takes all the focus off of wewe and puts it on the other person. It says, "I want to make wewe feel special! I want to be there for you, I'll put my dreams away to help wewe fulfill yours, I want what's best for you, I want to stay kwa your side to encourage wewe because I care about you, wewe wewe YOU..."
When wewe think about Love, think FAMILY: Forget About Me. I Love You.
And if nothing else, remember this: upendo is not a pretty, wispy, fluffy wingu of a feeling; something that floats happily along in calm, blue skies, only to be torn apart and scattered kwa an angry gust of wind eventually. True, genuine upendo is a mountain - solid, unshakable, permanent; lasting through the storms of Summer and the snows of Winter; taking the beauty, the glory and the hardship that come with every season.
It isn't about fireworks au warm, fuzzy butterflies in your stomach. It's simply about knowing the best, the worst and the just-plain-weird about someone and sticking to them ANYWAY.
It can be between Marafiki and family as well as lovers and soul-mates, and can be a life-long bond. True upendo is unconditional, sacrificial and absolutely selfless, thinking of the other person's needs first and foremost. True upendo is when no matter what - for better au worse, rich au poor, sickness au health, warm-fuzzies au no warm fuzzies - wewe commit to each other. True upendo is willing to wait and respects boundaries. (See 1 Corinthians 13 for zaidi information.)
Now how can wewe tell the difference between a glorified crush and the genuine thing?
Well, a crush (or a fleeting infatuation) has a tendency to focus on how the other person affects you, though wewe may not always be aware of it. It says "He makes ME feel special! He's the perfect guy for me, just think of all he'll do to make me feel good, he cares about me, I want him to stay with me, me me ME..."
upendo is the exact opposite. It takes all the focus off of wewe and puts it on the other person. It says, "I want to make wewe feel special! I want to be there for you, I'll put my dreams away to help wewe fulfill yours, I want what's best for you, I want to stay kwa your side to encourage wewe because I care about you, wewe wewe YOU..."
When wewe think about Love, think FAMILY: Forget About Me. I Love You.
And if nothing else, remember this: upendo is not a pretty, wispy, fluffy wingu of a feeling; something that floats happily along in calm, blue skies, only to be torn apart and scattered kwa an angry gust of wind eventually. True, genuine upendo is a mountain - solid, unshakable, permanent; lasting through the storms of Summer and the snows of Winter; taking the beauty, the glory and the hardship that come with every season.