“Will wewe cut that out?!”
Off to the west, amongst towering thunderheads and unsettled rainclouds, Wild moto and her passenger touch down. Much to Stylo’s relief, this ride was much zaidi enjoyable than the last one.
He hopped off Wild Fire’s back and took a look around. They weren’t alone – many other pegasi darted this way and that, clearing away the stormy vapor. He spied colts and mares of all different colors – there was an machungwa, chungwa one, and a pink one, and a gray one, and… a upinde wa mvua one.
“Oh hey, there’s Rainbow,” Wild moto commented, waving to her captain.
“Mmm. Could we… relocate, perhaps?” Stylo asked, anxiously.
“What’s up? These thunderheads scaring you?”
“No no, it’s just that working so close to Cap’n upinde wa mvua over there is going to make it hard to slack off,” he replied, apathetically poking at a nearby wingu lump.
“Dagh!” Wild moto groaned, “You just made me fly wewe all the way here!”
“Yes, but now my plan is ruined. Now we-… wewe know what? Let’s just go get some coffee au something and wait until this all blows over. Ponyville’s not so far, right?”
Wild moto simply stared, dumbfounded as Stylo reached into his kanzu, koti pocket.
“I’ve got couponnnnnsssss…!”
Wild moto tromped over to her lazy colleague. “WHAT are wewe TALKING about?! Do wewe not see these clouds? These are some of the biggest, most out-of-control storms we have EVER. SEEN. And wewe just want to ignore it and… and slurp coffee like some kind of idiot?!”
“…Yes?” Stylo replied, shrugging.
“And WHY are wewe wearing a coat? It’s July!” she spat, her fiery gaze burning a hole in Stylo’s fancy jacket.
Stylo tilted his head up and crossed his forelegs. “My soul knows no seasons!”
Wild Fire’s eyelids drooped. After a few sekunde she bellowed out, “RAINBOW! I CAN’T WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!”
“Shhh-shh-shhhh! Come on, let’s leave these ponies to their silly clouds!” Stylo leaned in and coaxed.
Wild moto took a deep breath. “No. If I’m going to teach wewe anything, it’ll be how to get motivated.”
Stylo’s smile fell for miles before reaching a desperate frown. “Nnnyuuuuuggghhhh…!”
“Here, take this. Treasure it like your little black book.” Wild moto poked her head around in her saddlebag and came out with a hand mirror clutched in her teeth. She held it out to her confused companion.
“A mirror?” he mused, taking the aforementioned object and eyeballing his reflection.
“It’s the most powerful motivational tool of all. Whenever I’m feeling down, au useless, or… like you, I look myself straight in the eye and say…”
The proud pegasus looked up to the heavens and put a hoof on her heart.
“I can DO it!”
Stylo was unimpressed. Wild moto motioned to his mirror.
“Go on… say it!”
“You can do it.”
“No no no, I can do it!”
“Be my guest.”
“Blagh!” she grunted, throwing up her hooves.
“And why should I get motivated about this work, anyhow?” Stylo began, stuffing the mirror in his pocket, “Who are we to decide what nature does? Who are we to dictate the weather? If the natural order calls for these monstrous storm clouds, I say, so be it! Mother Nature knows best!”
Stylo looked over at Wild Fire, who sat with her forelegs crossed and her eyes narrowed.
“Do wewe understand what I’m saying? Let’s just leave the weather alone!”
Stylo eyed the moody pegasus, eagerly awaiting a response. Without warning, she jumped up in Stylo’s face and raised a hoof.
“AAH! Okay, I’ll help wewe clear the clouds!”
She sat back down, smirking. Stylo buried his face in his hooves.
“Ohhhh… I’m surrounded kwa brutes…”
---
“No no, wewe don’t understand, Trixie’s plan was to simply make an appearance! That way, the pegasi would spread stories about my volunteering and admire my great generosity!
upinde wa mvua Dash scratched her head. “Trixie, pretending to be generous and being generous aren’t the same thing.”
Trixie looked up in desperation. “I know, but it’s so harrrrrd…! Small steps are better than none, right?”
“…I guess, but come on…being nice isn’t that hard. I do it all the time!”
Trixie collapsed into a bow. “Teach me, Kind and Generous One!”
upinde wa mvua picked her up off the fluffy ground. “It’s easy! Just think for a second… if wewe were a nice person, what nice things would wewe be doing right now?”
Trixie thought for a second, then clapped a hoof to her head. “Ouch!”
upinde wa mvua was taken aback. “Did thinking nice thoughts just give wewe a headache?”
“No no, it’s this blasted spell! Even the Great and Pow…heh, even Trixie has trouble walking on clouds for long periods.”
“Oh! Here.” upinde wa mvua flew over and scooped Trixie up. “Now wewe can do all the thinking wewe want!”
Trixie beamed and clapped her hooves together. “My hero! So this is what it’s like to be nice…!
“Ooh ooh! Can wewe carry me next?!”
upinde wa mvua and Trixie looked over to see a happy pink gppony, pony bouncing up and down.
“Hey! What’s up, Pinkie?” upinde wa mvua replied, gliding over to her friend. “Are wewe here to help clean up the clouds, too?”
“Oh gee, that sounds like a lot of fun, but I’m here on important business! Have wewe seen a gppony, pony that looks like this?”
Pinkie quickly put on a long black kanzu, koti and screwed her face into a moody scowl.
“Oh! That would be Stylo,” upinde wa mvua answered, “He’s probably in the cafeteria having chajio, chakula cha jioni with the others.”
“Thank wewe thank wewe thank you!” Pinkie cried and bounced off toward the cafeteria.
---
Stylo sat in a corner, far away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the cafeteria, gently penning lines in his notebook.
The gppony, pony and the cloud
The piper and the pit
Do battle once more
In a hasty fit
But this great machine
Makes a rattle and hum
Captain upinde wa mvua forgets
Stylo smirked before uandishi the final line.
Pegasi are dumb
“Hello!”
An ear-shattering voice tore Stylo from his thoughts. He looked up in surprise to see a pink mare standing not two inches from his nose.
“Hello.” Looking past her smiling face he noticed she was an earth pony. “How was the balloon ride?”
“Oh, it was great! But some nasty birds popped a few of them on the way up. I should stop bringing so much food!”
Stylo simply stared back blankly.
“Hey, are wewe Stylo?!” she asked abruptly.
“Afraid so.”
“I’m Pinkie Pie!” She grabbed his left hoof and gave it a hardy shake. “I’m here on important business!”
“Oh, are you…?” Stylo asked halfheartedly, looking back at his book.
“Yes sir-oonie! My staff tells me that wewe haven’t been to a single Pinkie Pie party since, well… ever! I’m recruiting wewe for mandatory party hours for Pinkie Pie’s Party Progress Pinitiative! Or… Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh!”
“Party Prog-… No! Uh-uh! I’m not doing any zaidi of this nonsense!”
“Sorry, Pinkie, but he’s gonna be busy for a while.”
Pinkie whirled around to see upinde wa mvua Dash behind her.
“Stylo here is doing Weather Team time. He’ll have to put in his hours for me before he goes to any parties.”
Stylo jumped up and ran over to Rainbow. “Yep, mm-hmm! That’s right!”
“Ohhh… darn it!” Pinkie groaned, snapping her… fingers?
“Take it easy, okay?” upinde wa mvua gave the two of them a wink and trotted away.
“Well, since I’m here, let’s get to know each other better!” Pinkie piped up, staring at Stylo with big ol’ eyes.
“Uhhhmmm-“
“I really like your mane!” Pinkie commented, running her hoof over Stylo’s icy locks.
“Oh, well… wewe can thank Cap’n upinde wa mvua for that.”
“How long have wewe two been friends?”
Stylo’s expression faltered. “Mmm? We, uh… we aren’t… friends.”
“Whaaaaaaaat?!” Pinkie bellowed, “Who are wewe Marafiki with?!”
Stylo strode back over to the meza, jedwali and scooped up his little black book. “My only Marafiki are my pen and paper.”
Pinkie looked horrified. “WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!”
Stylo covered his ears. “Agh!”
“WE NEED TO GET wewe SOME Marafiki RIGHT NOWWWWW!!! WE NEED TO…we need to…”
Ding! A 50-watt bulb suddenly appeared over Pinkie’s head.
“We need to get wewe to Cloudchaser!”
“…Who?” Stylo asked, cautiously swatting at the light bulb above Pinkie’s head.
“She should be in here, somewhere!” Pinkie jumped up on the meza, jedwali and scanned the bustling cafeteria. “Ah-HAH!” She called, pointing a hoof over at the far south end of the building. She jumped down off the meza, jedwali and clutched Stylo’s face.
“She’s perfect! You’re both pegasi… you’re almost the same color… I like both of your manes… it’s like you’re twins!”
Stylo slowly removed Pinkie’ s hooves from his face. “…Yeeeahhh…”
Pinkie looked up at the now-dark lightbulb above her head. “Oh!” She grabbed it and held it out to Stylo. “You can keep that!”
He nervously took the bulb and slid it into his pocket.
“Come on! This way!” Pinkie sang, bouncing off toward the front entrance. Hypnotized, Stylo followed. Maybe Pinkie was right… maybe he could use a friend. Silence was wonderful, sure, but the emptiness of that old Ponyville house drove him mad some nights. And if Cloudchaser was half as endearing as Pinkie made her out to be, perhaps he could finally find a pegasus whose company he could stand. If he was lucky, he could experience the mythical and oft-mentioned “pleasant conversation”.
And it’s… not like he had anything better to do.
--END OF ACT I--
