It's time for the Ponyville news. With your news anchors, Double Scoop as Nate Witherspoon, and Heartsong as Hillary Tosh.

Audience: *Clapping*
Nate: Thank wewe everypony. Thank you. Now quiet on the set!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Being a new news company, do expect some foul ups in tonight's broadcast.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: Let's begin with the country of Japan. They had a volkano erupt last week, which injured forty ponies, and killed seven others.
Hillary: It seems like Japan has been having a lot of bad things happening to them. The volcano, and that tsunami a few years ago, and then there was the bombing of Hiroshima, and Nagasaki.
Nate: Yeah, well they deserved it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's songesha on to the weather.
Nate: Right. Our forecast for this week includes, a nice sunny siku for Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, we get a partly cloudy siku on Friday, followed kwa a nonstop thunderstorm on Saturday.
Hillary: It has to stop at sometime.
Nate: Maybe it will, when ponies stop getting scared over it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: On Sunday, we will have another partly cloudy day, but on Monday, and Tuesday, the shit hits the shabiki when it begins to snow.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: How did wewe figure that out?
Nate: Farmer's almanac. Never lies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: And finally, before we songesha onto commercials, we have a special visitor.
Nate: Coming all the way from the middle east, it's Major General Shayne Diesel.

Blaze is Shayne Diesel.

Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Shayne: Thanks for having me here. Any place is better than the Middle East.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nate: That's what we wanted to talk to wewe about.
Hillary: How are your soldiers doing over there?
Shayne: Not too bad, except for the fact that they're dealing with a new terrorist group called ISIS.
Audience: *Booing* F*ck ISIS!!
Shayne: Don't worry everypony, we will stop them! After all, we are the United States of Equestria!
Nate: *Starts to think that Shayne is being annoying, and becomes sarcastic* Really? I thought this was Japan.
Shayne: Nah, wewe don't wanna be there. They had a volkano erupt.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And I thought Hawaii had volkano problems!
Audience: *Laughing*
Hillary: Let's get back on the topic of ISIS.
Shayne: Ah yes, the disgrace to everypony that believes in freedom, and democracy. Freedom is what makes this world spin around!

A song starts to play in the background: link

Shayne: I'm talking about ponies that have a long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: And while they're giving that long unnecessary speech about Equestria, and how it's an awesome country while a foreign song plays in the background, wewe see the Equestrian Flag, with stars, and stripes, waving in the wind, and reminding wewe that we are a powerful country!

Then the flag showed up behind Shayne in the background.

Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: We are a reminder to ISIS, that we have the toughest army in the world, and we will kill them all!! *Sings along to the song* This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: wewe tried to attack us, but your attack failed! And now wewe shall pay us the price, for wewe attempting to attack our home!
Nate: *Confused*
Shayne: This is the U.S.E, and we will kill you!
Hillary: I think he finally Lost his mind.
Nate: Me too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Shayne: *Continues imba his song*

Nate, and Hillary snuck out of the studio. Shayne didn't notice, for he was too busy imba his song.

Audience: *Laughing*

And that's all the time we have for the news. Stop the song!!

Master Sword: Well, that's all the time we have for our onyesha today. Thank wewe for watching.
Tom: Master Sword, this is an article. How do wewe watch an article?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I don't know, but the announcer always says, "On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience."
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I see what wewe mean. Well, thank wewe for viewing this. How about that?

The End.