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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The Story of Corporal Agarn

Theme song

Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn

Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler

And introducing new characters

Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic upinde wa mvua as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy

Sargent O' Rourke: *Reading telegram*
Corporal Agarn: *Arrives* Hi Sarge.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hello Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: What have wewe got there?
Sargent O' Rourke: It's a telegram.
Corporal Agarn: What does it say?
Sargent O' Rourke: I don't know. I don't understand morse code.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from-
Corporal Agarn: Hold it! We ain't finished yet!
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* Hello gentlecolts. Have we got the letter yet?
Corporal Agarn: Yeah, but apparently the Sarge cannot read it.
Captain: Let me see it.
Sargent O' Rourke: *Gives letter to Captain Parmenter*

When the Captain recieved the letter, he got a papercut.

Sargent O' Rourke: Are wewe alright Captain?
Captain Parmenter: Oh yes, I think so. *Sees blood coming out of cut* That's not supposed to happen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Never mind that. What does the letter say?
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: It says that three ponies are moving into Fort Courage, and two of these ponies are going to be soldiers.
Sargent O' Rourke: How do wewe know that sir?
Captain Parmenter: I learned how to speak Morse Code in High School.
Audience: *Laughing*

The three new ponies arrived the inayofuata day.

Wrangler Jane: Howdy. I was thinking of opening a duka here.
Captain Parmenter: We could use some zaidi stores on this fort. Go ahead.
Wrangler Jane: *Falling in upendo with Captain Parmenter* Thank you.
Captain Parmenter: Hm. That was strange.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: What's your name Corporal?
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Blind* It's Vanderbilt sir.
Sargent O' Rourke: wewe will be on the guard tower.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Right away sir. *Goes to Captain's quarters*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Uh, Vanderbilt? You're going the wrong way.
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Corporal Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: *Arrives* Yes?
Corporal Vanderbilt: wewe got here really fast. I don't know why ponies think you're dumb.
Corporal Agarn: Well thank you, thank you.... Who says I'm dumb?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Duffy: I did.
Corporal Agarn: And might I ask why?
Corporal Duffy: Because wewe weren't with me to protect the Alamo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: None of us here were with wewe to protect the alamo.
Corporal Duffy: Then they were all dumb.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Who says I'm dumb?!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle, buruji poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning wewe Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*

2 B continued
Let's start with applejack bucking apples........

AJ: wow, I bet I just got a new high record on bucking apples!
AB: sis, when am I gonna have my cutie mark?
AJ: apple bloom! I've told ya a billion times, I don't know!
AB: UGH!............Hey! Here comes upinde wa mvua dash!
AJ: Now go run along ya little pony
AB: ok! (leaves)
RD: 'sup applejack
AJ: howdy rainbow!
RD: So, wanna come over to fluttershy's house today?
AJ: sorry sugarcube, but I got lots of work to do
RD: oh AJ! Can't wewe just chill for a second?
AJ: I will, but I still need to do some work
RD: who cares about work! C'mon PLLLEEAASSEE!!!!!
AJ: well...
continue reading...
This isnt THE fanfic ive been planning. Its just something that popped into my mind after kusoma creepypastas. If I get enough good reviews, ill continue it. Any feedback would be massively appreciated. No descriptive gore.

***
I quietly galloped into the boutique, only to see my little sister, Sweetie Belle, sprawled on the floor, sobbing her lit eyes out. Surrounding her were multiple papers emblazed with drawings and doodles. To her left was a box of crayons.
"What's wrong, Sweetie? I thought you'd be with your friends."
She turned to stare at me.
"I was, but then Scootaloo went to help...
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posted by pikachu700
Pinkie pie: what are wewe doing in my bedroom *grabs chainsaw*
me: HOLY S**TIAOUNI
pinkie pie: *starts chainsaw*
me: *looks at window and gets out*
(atfer i got out i was in the forest full of wild wanyama and traps)
me: oh my!
*try to be careful over the traps and bears but got hurt kwa them too much*
me: *see's a road and looks around but no cars*
oh my what if she...
(all the sudden see's a shed witch i know they are dangerous but i had to do it)
*walks into shed theres blood everywhere and hides in a hiding spot*
to be continued
added by shadirby
Source: Me. Myself. And I.
added by karinabrony
added by Seanthehedgehog
There's a lot zaidi where this came from ;)
video
my
magic
friendship
fluttershy
is
upinde wa mvua dash
my little gppony, pony
My Little Poney
Dear Diary,

Today, I had a good adventure with my friends. The bad thing about it, though, was, somepony alisema "Let's go this way!" And I alisema "No! Let's go this way!" We were all confused and most of us didn't understand anypony, but at least I had a adventure!

From, Twilight Sparkle.

Dear Diary,
Today, I went to go with my Marafiki to complete a obstacle course that everypony in Ponyville had to go across. I got past it, but I didn't win the race. I wasn't in first place. I was in third place. But third wasn't last. Twelfth was, but I came in like it was first if there were twelve spots!

From, Twilight SParkle
Royal Guard:Princess Celestia,we got a huge drunk dragon,that was staying at the stairs of the castle.
Celestia:Let him in.
Spike:*enters*Hello,you lame princess.I am here to make wewe smile.
Celestia:Well,you arent!Wait,you're..Spike.
Spike:Yes,your shitesty!
Celestia:What a language!Twilight!
Twilight:Yes,princess?
Celestia:Is Spike,drunk?
Twilight:Spike,shouldn't wewe be nyumbani right now with Harmony and Rarity?
Spike:Oh,yeah.That Rarity is a little bit....um,what is that word..Oh yeah,BORING!I stayed there just because of Harmony.She is the only one who loves me!You don't care about me.Neither of you!Just...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Captain Jefferson: There are reports being made about a silver Honda drifting on the streets of this town. We need to put a stop to it.

---

Toby: So wewe think wewe can build a better layout then Tim, huh?
Julia: wewe better believe it.
Toby: And wewe won't need help from anypony?
Julia: I can do it all kwa myself. You, Tim, and everypony will upendo it.

---

Pony On Motorcycle: *Does a wheelie, and goes on a car. He goes airborne, and lands on a Nissan Skyline police car*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting inayofuata to her*

Gran Turismo...
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FLASHBACK:

Filly Glaze (her and Trixie are his ONLY friend of the time): I'm sorry about your mom putting wewe into adoption and all.

Filly Saten: Ahh, can't say I'm too serprised.. But at least I met my first cousin Derpy for the first time.

Filly Glaze: Oh yes, Derpy.. I owe her money actually.. (goes to bank, but it's closed) NO! NO! ARE wewe KIDDING ME!?

Filly Saten: It's okay, we can just check back tomorrow.

Filly Glaze: ... (sighs) Guess your right.

Filly Saten starts heading back, but from behind him Glaze pick up a trash can and breaks the bank window, triggering the alarm, shocking Saten....
continue reading...
posted by SomeoneButNoone
---
Dan - Situation.
Watermark - Enemies coming close to Canterlot, code RED I repeat code RED.
Celestia - ...
Twilight - ...
Dan - Copy that. Anything new on Chechenkov?
CIA - Negative.
MI5 - We may have something.
Dan - Listening.
MI5 - Some stalion called Al'Hakuim - leader of militia in Somalia. But we need someone who knows the place well.
Dan - I know a man. Well an Mare. She were undercover in Somalia. He name is Jade. One of my old squadron member.
- - - - -
15th May
Hour 1205
Location : Somalia - Africa.
Operation Codename : "Guerrilla Warfare"

Militia - On the ground scum!
Hardscope - *gets on ground*...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Joel - *crush inside FBI HQ with Truck*
FBI - Alarm!
Damien - *shoots him in the head* Oh shut up.
Jimmy - Woo! I like it.
Joel - Wich way.
Jimmy - Terminals... 3rd floor.
Damien - *shoot the way inside terminal room*
Jimmy - *plug his laptop* Gimme bout two dakika mate.
Damien - Sure. *shoot zaidi FBI*
Joel - They won't do anything funny.
Damien - Ohhhh I forgot how good if feels.
Jimmy - OK shit. It's Terminal A-3 that is in main office of leader of this section. OK Joel go get him.
Joel - *burst doors open and shoot the Boss*
Boss - Please d-dont..
Joel - *looks at picture of Boss with family* I get too...
continue reading...
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Slash - *enters house* ... Silent... Heh...

Ace - *comes to office* Oh boss.
Boss - hujambo there Ace.
Ace - H-hi.
Boss - Hm? Something's on your mind... Say it.
Ace - Well it's about... Slash life.


Episode 2
The fox, mbweha Killer



Boss - I guess. I will tell you...

5 Years Ago.

Slash - I'm back!
Greenleaf - Hi there bro!

-It was 3 years after they moved away from their abusive parents. Slash was ace detective for 1 mwaka then-

Slash - Oh? wewe got better at cooking.
Greenleaf - I watched some TV.
Slash - Hmm.. *pats her on head* Good girl.

-He used to smile alot back in the days until.-

Nightwalker - Yo. *drops files*
Slash...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Round 12 is beginning

Rainbow Dash: & Twilight: *Back outside with Applejack, and Pinkie Pie*

Fog started to rise.

Rainbow Dash: *Coughing* Where are all the zombies?
Sweetie Belle: Fetch me their souls.
Twilight: I think that majibu our question.
Pinkie Pie: Nein!! Not the puppies!!!
Hell Hound: *Running towards the ponies*
Rainbow Dash: *Shoots it four times with her HK21*
Elvis Presley: *Singing in the background* wewe ain't nothin' but a Hell Hound, just cryin' all the time.
Ponies: Not now!!
Elvis Presley: *Leaves*

They got distracted with Elvis, and the inayofuata Hell Hound to come took down Twilight...
continue reading...
posted by SomeoneButNoone
----
Shadowknight - So... How did wewe know.
Doctor - Among greatest magicians and healers we are...
Shadowknight - Don't tell me it's because you're connected to underground. Truth.
Doctor - Truth to be told. I saved wewe after wewe got yourself beaten up. That's why armor was in my hoofs.
Shadowknight - Hm... That's all?
Doctor - I didn't called wewe for that. It's about one of princesses.
Shadowknight - What is it.
Doctor - Pearl... She is... Having a terrible sickness.
Shadowknight - What...
Doctor - Her mental state, seeing her mother get killed made it even worse and we need medicine right away.
Shadowknight...
continue reading...
posted by SomeoneButNoone
----
4 days later
----
Damien - *watches TV*
Joel - *eating sandwich*
Twilight - *sleeping cuffed*
Damien - Uh I'm bored...
...
...
FI - Good news boys I found wewe a gent and mare to jiunge wewe up. Steven and Nicole are outside let them in

+--+

Nicole - I'm Nicole... Im doing this for living.
Steven - I'm Steven, have mafia debt like you.
FI - Now to do something with this princess. We won't kill her and I can't put her on black market - too shady we gonna get denied au set up. Hmmm... I have idea. Drive to Old Ponyville. wewe will meet up with Hispanic pony. He will buy her off - no set up I will contact...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
It was 10 PM. Didont entered Gran Turismo with Flamethrower in a black Jaguar.


Didont: Where does it tell us to go now?
Flamethrower: We keep going straight until we get to the intersection.
Didont: Perfect. This road intersects with Malpaso Avenue. We're in the right spot now.

They didn't notice that they were speeding. Their car was at 45, but the speed was 35.

Tim: We got a speeder.

Song: link

Julia: *Drives onto the road from a gas station, and follows the Jaguar*
Tim: GT24, we have a black Jaguar northbound on Main Street. We're going to pull him over for speeding. License plate...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Larry, and Adrenaline stopped at the Don's house.

Larry: *Knocks three times*
Don Castalini: *Opens the door* What's up?
Larry: We need to talk.
Don Castalini: Okay. Come in.
Larry: *Walks into the house with Adrenaline*
Don Castalini: Rudolph, we have guests!
Rudolph: *In the kitchen* The hors d'oeuvres are set. I'll bring them to wewe in the living room.
Don Castalini: Thanks Rudolph.

In the living room

Don Castalini: So what is it?
Rudolph: *Brings in chips with salsa, and a bottle of champagne from 1933*
Adrenaline: Oh, this looks pretty fancy.
Don Castalini: I know. What do wewe want to talk...
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