Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is

Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game onyesha wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
upinde wa mvua Dash as herself
and special guest star, Nocturnal Mirage as Tom Selleck

Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I'd like to once again remind our contestants that there are proper bathroom facilities located in the studio.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We have a real ghalani burner on our hooves.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: In the lead, we have upinde wa mvua Dash with negative $22,400, due to her arrogant behavior.
Audience: *Laughing*
upinde wa mvua Dash: Hey, who are wewe calling arrogant?! I happen to be one of the nicest ponies ever!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: In sekunde place with negative $46,700 is Tom Selleck.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: *Holding pen like a microphone* I am a little slow Alex, but I think I will catch up with Double Jeopardy.
Alex: I see you've managed to let most of your money, runaway.
Tom: I'm sorry, what's that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Oh, I'm sorry. I was make a pun to the title of your movie, Runaway.
Tom: I don't know what that is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The movie wewe were in, Runaway.
Tom: *Continues holding pen like microphone* Oh, haha. Ha, I still don't understand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Sees Tom holding pen like a microphone* That's fine. Oh, and Tom, that is a pen, not a microphone.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: And, in last place with negative $69.. Oh brother, Sean the hedgehog.
Audience: Wooo!!! *Clapping*
Alex: *Notices Sean's score* Negative 69? Okay, that's not your score.
Sean: 69 is how I scored with your grand daughter last night.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Alex: Let's just songesha on to the categories for double jeopardy. They are...

Potent Potables
Sounds That Kittens Make
Twinkle Twinkle Little Blank
Catch These Men

Alex: Every answer is a stallion on the FBI's most wanted list, so let's just forget that category. I'm not sure that would turn out well.
Sean: I turned out your grand daughter last night!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm ignoring you.
Sean: It's a prison term, it means I have her working as a prostitute for a job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm going to pretend I never heard that, and continue on with the rest of the categories for Double Jeopardy.

States That End In Hampshire
What Color Is Green
And Purple Alicorns

Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Alex: upinde wa mvua Dash, let's start with you.
upinde wa mvua Dash: Uh, potent potables, I don't know what that is.
Alex: It's about alcohol.
upinde wa mvua Dash: Then in that case, I'll take potent potables.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Surprised* For how much?
upinde wa mvua Dash: How about a glass full? Come on, hand it over. I want some cider.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We don't have that.
upinde wa mvua Dash: I thought so, that's why I brought my own. *Drinking cider*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Great. Fine. Okay, Tom, let's just go with you.
Tom: Well, where are we going?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No-nowhere. Pick a category.
Tom: Okay, I'll take 600.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For what category?
Tom: Video daily double.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I had such high hopes for you. Let's just do states that end in Hampshire for 200. This is the only state that ends in Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Rings in* South Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Tom: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What is South Hampshire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no.
upinde wa mvua Dash: *Rings in*
Alex: upinde wa mvua Dash.
upinde wa mvua Dash: Hampshire England.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no. That's not in the United States.
upinde wa mvua Dash: *Talks like an australian* I'm sorry govna, please get me zaidi cider. Can I have some more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No. Sean The Hedgehog, will wewe pick a category?
Sean: I'll take Catch The Semen for 800!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: It's not Catch The Semen.
Sean: Is that why your mane is white Trebek?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Tom Selleck, will wewe pick a category? And he has his hoof stuck in a pickle jar.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Uh, it's on my hoof.
Alex: Where did wewe get that pickle jar?
Tom: Uh, I wanted a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Tom Tom, let go of it.
Tom: *Grabs pickle, and let's go of jar*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, not the jar. Let go of the pickle.
Tom: But I want a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We can't keep playing if wewe don't let go of the pickle.
Sean: That's what your grand daughter alisema last night!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: wewe know what? upinde wa mvua Dash, wewe take the board.
upinde wa mvua Dash: I am bored. I am bored!
Audience: *Laughing*
upinde wa mvua Dash: Do ponies actually watch this show?
Alex: Yeah, it's pretty popular, and Tom Selleck is caught in a dry cleaning bag.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Can someone help him?
Tom: *Stuck in bag*
Alex: No one can help him?
Tom: *Gets out of bag, and rings in*
Alex: I didn't ask wewe anything yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's okay. Give me famous Chinese ponies for 200.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There is no category for chinese ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And there would never be anything that offensive.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Pat Merida?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: First of all, Pat Merida was japanese, not chinese.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Mel Gibson?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Good lord.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just songesha onto final jeopardy. Nonsense words. Just write a series of letters. As long as it's not a word, wewe will win.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And as I am reasonably certain, that wewe will get this wrong, I want to get this over with as soon as possible.

The kengele rang, and everypony ran out of time.

Alex: Let's see what rare gems our contestants have mined today.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: upinde wa mvua Dash, let's see your nonsense word. Hoda Kotb. That's not a nonsense word. She's the co host of The Today Show.
upinde wa mvua Dash: Kotb? That's a nonsense word. Where's the vowel?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And wewe wagered.. wewe wagered that you'll be passed out in an hour.
Audience: *Laughing*
upinde wa mvua Dash: *Talks with a southern accent* Yer darn tootin partner. I like cowboys.
Alex: Great. Tom Selleck, let's see what wewe wrote down... Wait, Tom Selleck just disappeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: No, he was never here.
Alex: Yes he was.
Sean: No he wasn't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Alright then, let's see what wewe wrote down. IOISSSB.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well. That is a nonsense word. Judges? Yes, this counts as a nonsense word.
Sean: Well, I thought wewe could use it friend.
Alex: Well, thank you. Thank wewe Sean.
Sean: You're welcome.
Alex: Let's see what my friend, Sean wagered.

IOISSSB turned out to be part of a drawing Sean made of himself taking a shit on Alex Trebek's grave.

Audience: *Laughing, clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: If I am looking at that correctly, that is wewe letting out a number 2 on my grave.
Sean: It was right after I had sex with your grand daughter Trebek!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, that's it. Show's over, good night.
Audience: *Clapping*

2 B Continued