What's a comedy onyesha without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, au the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, au Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why? Because they want to steal your money, and take away your jobs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The fucking princesses don't even do shit! All they do is raise the sun, and the moon. A job that can already be done kwa itself.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: wewe go to the library, find some vitabu about space, and everything else around our planet earth, and you'll see that Princess Celestia has assigned herself a mediocre task.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And she did the same thing to her sister, and a purple stranger.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: It's all mediocre, just like this presidential election. Just for once, I'd like to see what would happen if no one, not a single gppony, pony voted for any of the candidates!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Our government would collapse just trying to think of a solution to the crisis!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: wewe know what I imagine? I imagine a special room under the pembetano, pandetano that no one knows about. Well, almost no one since I'm sharing this with you.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And in that secret room wewe have a stage held exclusively for having other ponies fight each other. If none of the candidates received a single vote, they would have to duke it out in....Sudden death!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Whoever kills the other candidates gets to become president! But it doesn't simply end there, no. I imagine zaidi secret rooms with zaidi challenging obstacles that have spikes, dynamite, holes filled with crocodiles, balancing boards that songesha kwa themselves, and dozens of other challenging obstacles that would make even the toughest drill sergeant cry to their mom in horror!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: ALL SURROUNDED kwa FIRE!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: And only then, wewe will become president of the United States of Equestria. But after going through all that crap, I don't think wewe would want to be president anymore.
Crowd: *Clapping*

2 B Continued