Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?
1 nyota hangover *
No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving wewe a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that wewe are able to function relatively well. However, wewe are still parched. wewe can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a cheeseburger and a side of fries.
2 nyota hangover **
Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. wewe may look okay but wewe have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee wewe chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though wewe have a nice demeanour about the office, wewe are costing your employer valuable money because all wewe really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and uandishi junk, taka e-mails.
3 nyota hangover ***
Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. wewe are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks kwa wewe gag because her perfume reminds wewe of the bila mpangilio gin, gini shots wewe did with your alcoholic Marafiki after the bouncer kicked wewe out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if wewe were in your kitanda with a dozen donuts and a litre of koki watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet koki - yet wewe haven't peed once.
4 nyota hangover ****
Your head is throbbing and wewe can't speak too quickly au else wewe might honk. wewe have Lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted wewe for being late and has aliyopewa wewe a lecture for reeking of booze. wewe wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that wewe missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like wewe put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes wewe look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. wewe would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. nyumbani time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, au 3. A time machine so wewe could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
5 nyota hangover (aka Dante's 4th mduara, duara of Hell) *****
wewe have a sekunde heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits inayofuata to you. Death seems pretty good right now. wewe can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore, staining your shati and making wewe dizzy. wewe still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least wewe think it's toothpaste crust. wewe don't give a damn either way. Your body has Lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at wewe and your co-workers think that your dog just died because wewe look so pathetic. wewe should have called in sick because all wewe can manage to do is breathe....very gently
1 nyota hangover *
No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving wewe a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that wewe are able to function relatively well. However, wewe are still parched. wewe can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a cheeseburger and a side of fries.
2 nyota hangover **
Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. wewe may look okay but wewe have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee wewe chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though wewe have a nice demeanour about the office, wewe are costing your employer valuable money because all wewe really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and uandishi junk, taka e-mails.
3 nyota hangover ***
Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. wewe are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks kwa wewe gag because her perfume reminds wewe of the bila mpangilio gin, gini shots wewe did with your alcoholic Marafiki after the bouncer kicked wewe out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if wewe were in your kitanda with a dozen donuts and a litre of koki watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet koki - yet wewe haven't peed once.
4 nyota hangover ****
Your head is throbbing and wewe can't speak too quickly au else wewe might honk. wewe have Lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted wewe for being late and has aliyopewa wewe a lecture for reeking of booze. wewe wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that wewe missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like wewe put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes wewe look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. wewe would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. nyumbani time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, au 3. A time machine so wewe could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
5 nyota hangover (aka Dante's 4th mduara, duara of Hell) *****
wewe have a sekunde heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits inayofuata to you. Death seems pretty good right now. wewe can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore, staining your shati and making wewe dizzy. wewe still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least wewe think it's toothpaste crust. wewe don't give a damn either way. Your body has Lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at wewe and your co-workers think that your dog just died because wewe look so pathetic. wewe should have called in sick because all wewe can manage to do is breathe....very gently
I was bored =/ I tried to put just the people that I see around most as opposed to people that only pop in every now and then so if I didn’t put wewe in it, I’m sorry
LPers, BLers gather here
And maybe we all could use a beer
But let’s make one thing very clear
Stalkers and shit talkers get kicked to the rear
Pinjas are the one thing wewe should fear
You’ll cry and your make-up will smear
Might want to look in the mirror before wewe decide to judge, my dear
Newbies come and newbies go but in the end we laugh cause you’re all queer
Just remember your not all welcome near
The epicness that...
continue reading...
And maybe we all could use a beer
But let’s make one thing very clear
Stalkers and shit talkers get kicked to the rear
Pinjas are the one thing wewe should fear
You’ll cry and your make-up will smear
Might want to look in the mirror before wewe decide to judge, my dear
Newbies come and newbies go but in the end we laugh cause you’re all queer
Just remember your not all welcome near
The epicness that...
