NOFX - Philthy Phil Philanthropist

Oh, man, this is is gonna kill me. Yep, everyone, its another fanfic. A Napoleon Dynamite one. Now, I have not seen the movie, so I don’t know who au what the characters and setting is, but wewe don’t have to watch the movie to know this fanfic is crap. But, enough with me talking. Lets read Napoleon Dynamite 4: Napoleon is Dead…. WHAT HAPPENED TO NAPOLEON DYNAMITE’S ONE THROUGH THREE!?
So, it starts with Napoleon and Pedro walking to school. Pedro tells Napoleon that he has to run away and runs away… And like that, all sense this story could have made was thrown out the fucking window....

Now, this is not much of a review, but, this has to be addressed. Cell Phones have basically become the closest thing humanity has gotten to brainwashing. I’m not kidding. Literally, everywhere I go. Weather its to school, to work, to the store, to the bank, to Starbucks. There is ALWAYS someone on there phone. Hell, I’m not even salama from this at home. Now, some of wewe might find this crazy, but, I do not have a cellphone. I just don’t see the point. Not to mention, if I had one, I’d be like everyone else in my school. A brainwashed zombie who can’t keep their eyes off their phone...

I'm glad my old one was so enjoyable, Here's zaidi of it. Same roles...



While cleaning out the prison, Thomas tried to stab Rick for the the third time now.

"What the hell was that!?" Rick cried angrily.

"It was coming at m-

"Wait.. I Think wewe have something on the side of your head!" Rick pointed out.

"What are wewe tal- (suddenly Rick stabs his trademark, red handled machete wait though Thomas's head graphically killing him)".

"Got it!" Rick cried, seeming unaware that he killed a man.

Suddenly an angry Andrew charged at him, but Rick body slammed him against a wall.

"That wasn't very nice!" Rick...

Link: Hey, look, its an eskimo
Zunari: Hello
Link: Let me guess. Your crazy as shit too. What's your story. wewe live in a fucking freezer.
Zunari: Not really. When wewe look at all the psychopaths and idiots in this city, someone has to have some sanity
Link: Oh, okay. So, what's wrong with you
Zunari: Well, wewe see, I have this salama here, but, every time I close the store at night, someone always comes here and steals from me. It's maddening.
Link: so, wait, wewe just have this big punda salama lying in the open of your office, and pretty much anyone can steal it
Zunari: Well, yes, that's exactly it
Link:...

Chuck: (Working on motorcycle)
Backstage Worker: Okay, Mr... uh
Chuck: The names Chuck Greene. Just like one of the colors of the rainbow
Backstage: ........ Okay
Chuck: (To Katey) Okay, Katey, I'm gonna go make us some money
Katey: wewe mean your going out to compete in a deadly game onyesha killing hundreds of zombies in a brutal fashion, and even if wewe get first place, wewe will get no respect from the recurring characters in the story
Chuck: Exactly
Katey: ........ wewe really should have become a lawyer
Chuck: Oh, Katey, don't wewe know. Any game with a lawyer would suck
(Meanwhile)
Phoenix Wright: Fuck...

Link: (Wakes up) Huh, what happened
King of Red Lions: Oh, Link, good thing your safe. After your Pokemon burned down that building, I got wewe out of there
Link: Huh (Sees Tetra) Holy shit, did me and Tetra-
King of Red Lions: No
Link: Goddamn it
King of Red Lions: Anyway, we need to go to the sacred realm again, because............. Well, lets go (Goes through portal)

King of Red Lions: Well, here we are
Link: (Breathes for air) Why the fuck didn't wewe warn me
King of Red Lions: I can't help it. I'm a boat. I don't even have lungs. Anyway, just go in there, and take Tetra
Tetra: (Wakes up) Did someone...

Tetra: So, now that we are here, are wewe ready to go on an amazing adventure to save your sister
Link: No
Tetra: Then let us- Wait, what do wewe mean kwa no
Link: wewe see, my mother used to tell me stories of a brave hero who went through many hardships to save the land from evil. And I can assure you, I fucking hate the stuff he went through. He almost got killed kwa spiders, lizards, jellyfish monsters, ghosts, dragons, water.... Yeah, just water, zombies, witches, pigmen, tribal warriors, goats, giant fish, worms, and a scary mask, and I can assure wewe I won't go on some crappy adventure
Tetra:...

Well... I can't believe its here. I alisema I'd review this back in my Modofiyers review, so here it is. I give wewe the worst, and I mean the fucking WORST, channel of this siku and age... Nickelodeon.
Okay, so why is Nickelodeon so awful... Well, lets compare some other channels. Cartoon Network has Adventure Time. Disney has Gravity Falls. Hub has My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. What does Nickelodeon have......... They have modern Spongebob, Sangey and Craig, and........... Well, I'll tell wewe the other onyesha when it comes to it. Now, these are the three shows that Nickelodeon has most......

Courtroom No. 3
12: 00 p.m. June 16th

Judge: So, I believe that Mr. Mays was able to bring in the witness
Marcus: Yes, your honor. She is a little scared, so I suggest wewe try to keep calm... Mr. Justice
Swift: *There is something about this guy... I don't know what... But I feel like... No, thats just crazy talk*
Marcus: Witness, please state your name and occupation
Jessica: I'm Jessica Jess and... Well... Lou prefers to do all the hard work
Marcus: So wewe witnessed the murder
Jessica: ...Yes
Marcus: And, could wewe tell us who was the killer
Lou: ...*smile*
Jessica: I-it was... It was Lou
Lou: ................WHAT!!!...

I have already stated before that Jojo has lots of villains in it that make it amazing. From sadistic vampires, to serial killers, to the president of the United States of America. But, for every major villain that is in Jojo, there is… at least twenty minor villains that are right behind them. Minor villains are a major part of Jojo. They appear all the time to be a challenge for the team who is hunting a villain. Whether their Stand is named after Tarot Cards, Egyptian gods, rock bands, whether they are members of Dio, part of a dangerous gang, terrorists from another country, bila mpangilio prisoners,...

On January 1st, 1987, the world was graced with the first edition of the Japanese manga, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood. 30 years later, in 2017, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is still going strong. In fact, it’s even stronger today than it has ever been, and I am happy for that. So, to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, I am going to make the mwezi of January an event known only as Jojo-nuary, where I will be making many lists associated with Jojo. And to start this event off, I am going to introduce wewe all to the ranking of Stands from the fifth edition...

Well, everyone, it seems that Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable is coming to a close soon, with the last few episodes just left before the series finale. All that’s left is to wait for Bites the Dust, and hopefully a Vento Aureo anime in the coming future. So, before we all say goodbye to Diamond is Unbreakable forever, I want us to take a look at the multiple enemy Stands that appeared in the series. Unlike Stardust Crusaders, the Stands in this part were a little zaidi creative. Not as impressive in some skills and strategies, but still pretty creative. Not to mention, the...

The Gamecube was such a criminally underrated console, with so many beloved games that are still appreciated to this day. So, with the Gamecube always being a inayopendelewa console of mine, I decided to do a orodha on what I think are the best games on the system. Now, I am not going to include any of the games from my juu ten list, so no Resident Evil 4 au Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, because those two games would obviously make the list, and for good reason. Also, these are all games that only I have played. So, no F Zero GX au Baten Kaitos. Also, these games have to be Gamecube exclusives. It can...

This is a combination of Casino Royale with Quantum Of Solace. It all started in a place called Dodge City, where many stallions were pitting wanyama to fight against each other. Con had to find a certain gppony, pony that was gambling on the animals.

Con: Did wewe find her yet?
Hungry: No. I don't see her.
Con: Stop touching your ear!
Hungry: Sorry?
Gambling pony: *notices hungry*
Hungry: *pulls out gun*
Con: Put your gun away! I need her alive.

Con chased after the mare into a construction sight. When he found the fence he couldn't hop over, he aliiba a bulldozer, and destroyed it, then continued his...

Hello, everyone. Now, there are a lot of enemies in video games. Some fun, some hard, some FUCKING ANNOYING (Which I already touched upon) And then there are the ones that are so pathetic, they make wewe just say to yourself, "Why....". So, here are the juu ten enemies I find to be the most pathetic. First, only games I play and only one per franchise. Now, lets begin



#10: Goomba from Super Mario Bros. - First off is the most iconic enemy in video games, but also one of the most pathetic. Seriously, they just walk back and forth. Thats... it. That's there so called attack pattern....

Japan makes some weird stuff. However, weird isn't always bad. Take a look at Super Mario Bros. wewe play as a plumber saving a princess from a dinosaur as wewe look for mushrooms and fight walking mushrooms and turtles in shoes, and that game makes a billion dollars with each game released... However... if wewe look on the opposite side of the spectrum, weird isn't always good. With that, we get a manga with a title so perverted, I am sure this review will get flagged. It's Tiny Boobs Giant Tits History.
Now, let me tell you, if wewe don't know what hentai is, your too young to read this story,...

#1:
Goku: (puts his hands up, preparing a spirit bomb)
Frieza: (not aware of what’s happening) What are wewe doing now?
Goku: … Stretching.
Frieza: In the middle of our fight?
Goku: …… Yes.
(from distance)
Piccolo: What’s going on? He’s just standing there with his hands up.
Krillin: Wait a second.
Krillin:(Goku and Frieza and hear Krillin, cause he’s screaming as loud as possible) HE’S USING THE SPIRIT BOMB!
Frieza: The Spirit whats-it-now?
Goku: (thinking) Oh no.
Piccolo: Would wewe stop screaming.
Krillin: (still screaming) THE SPIRIT BOMB IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN KILL FRIEZA!
Piccolo:...

Before there was Zombieland and before there Shaun of the Dead, we didn’t get much comedy zombie movies. Sure, there were some, but not much. However, one movie came along that I think was an underrated classic of the 90s. First off, the movie was directed kwa Peter Jackson… yes, the Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson. Before he made Lord of the Rings, he made this movie. And it’s just as good as Lord of the Rings…. Okay, maybe not as good, but it’s still a good movie. Anyway, let’s talk about Dead Alive (Or Braindead if wewe live outside of North America.





Dead Alive follows the...

(Please be advised that there's some zaidi mature humor in this, thanks in advance.)

Toon Link. The cartoon version of one of gaming's biggest icons, and it looks like he's here to stay.

And honestly, what's not to upendo about Toon Link? He's courteous, powerful, and is always way stronger than he PROBABLY SHOULD BE IN SMASH BROS GODDAMMI-

And is ujumla, jumla a very memorable character.....Which brings me to the logical conclusion that he should RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

Why wewe may ask?

Stop asking such silly questions. :)

So without further ado, I'm your host Killer Semenstar and let's get RIIIIIGHT into the...