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posted by vampiress015
I presuming we all joined this spot 'cos we upendo to write, right? If so then wewe all know what I'm talking about when I say that we all upendo our main characters and sometimes want to make them the best people in the world.

B-O-R-I-N-G

Yes, we want to make our main character gets the best out of the story, since it's their story. But if they're the best people in the world it doesn't really make them believable and then the reader just doesn't care about them (which is hard to understand cos we as the writer upendo em, but unfortunantley it's true)

So here is my step-by-step guide to make sure that your character isn't a Mary Sue, because trust me, when I first started to write there were Sue's all over my story- it was the worst story in the world. Most readers want to be able to see the characters fall then come back up again- it's zaidi entertaining.

Step-by-step guide: Mary Sue's

Okay so most of wewe must be asking who Mary Sue is? She's the prettist, most intelligent, gets all the boys kinda girl who saves the day, has no flaws and every other character in your story loves her. wewe hate her already, don't you? Why? Because wewe can't relate to her (/him, it can be a boy too). wewe don't want her in your story-unless its a parody about a Mary Sue, but thats another story- she'll make the reader puke with all the rainbows and vichimbakazi surrounding her. So here's how to make sure she doesn't creep in.

Think about your main character, and answer these questions.

1.What's her name? Did wewe spend a whole hour/day (please don't say week) picking it?
Did wewe choose it for the meaning?
2.Describe her.
3.Does she solve all the problems without any help at all? What does she get for solving these problems?
4.Does she have any enemies?

Okay.Done? Lets see what your majibu mean...

1. Her name? Why it's Princess. (sorry if this is someones name and they do have a genuine reason for picking it) But if wewe chose this name just because it means Princess, au wewe have another name that means Princess au loved one au anything that relates to what your character is like, then think about changing it-it's a bit vain/too much. If not and wewe answered no to the other two maswali then well done, that's one of the criteria out of the way.

Note: My first characters name was Sadie which means Princess- don't worry,we all fall into the same traps.

2. Does she look zaidi beautiful than a model, even without any make-up and even though she's just a normal human being? We all have flaws, even sparkely Wanyonya damu do-Rosalie anyone?

Like I alisema above about Rosalie, if your character does look like a model and it's not a side effect of being a vampire/werewolf/witch/wizard/any other mythical being, then wewe can usually balance them out kwa making them really mean, au stupid- but that only really works for minor characters most of them time. wewe want your main character to be relatable. Although that isn't always the case- take Blart: the boy who didn't want to save the world, he's ugly, stupid and mean, but nobody can relate to him that much. Saying that the book is a kinda parody about wizards being stupid and knights being far from noble. Anyway, I'm straying away from the point...

3. Everybody needs help, as nobody can be right all the time- it's part of being human, and if your character is relatable then she's going to have to make a mistake sometime au other.
And I hope they don't have everybody worshipping them for solving it- the villan at least is going to hate her.

4. Okay so a villan is an enemy. But I'm sure there are people in your life that don't like wewe (hate/enemy is a strong word). And if she is a Mary Sue, then in real life people are gonna dislike her for going out with a boy they like, au getting the highest marks in the test when she didn't revise at all. Everybody has people that upendo 'em and hate 'em, same for your character.

I think that if wewe try and fix these points your character should be zaidi believable- they worked for me. Of course your character could already be perfectly fine.

I'm not an expert at writing, and everybody's stories are different, so these points won't work for every character. But I just thought I'd pass on what I've learnt from other young writers cos they really help. I mean, can wewe name a Mary Sue in your life?

If this didn't help wewe can always take a Mary Sue litmus test. I recommend link
posted by Harrypotter148
This Is A Story Story Based On A Couple I Am uandishi In Another Story, I wanna see if I can Get The Chemistry Right. Kal Is A Healer, He Has The Power To Heal People And Is Connected With Heaven. Like An Angel But Less Powerful. Aria Is Half Healer, But zaidi Powerful, She Could Even Be Deadly.


Part 1


Aria sat outside her house rocking back and forth on her porch swing, the only sound was the squeaking of the rusting chains. The sky was darkening into a peaceful cloudless night, and it seemed like the things around her, did not want to ruin it. She never moved her gaze from the small little...
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posted by wolfclan121
A tear ran down Jannet's pale cheek. David's footsteps echoed in the hall like a man's last words, and for Jannet, they were last words David will ever say to her. We never saw David again. Never. It's a hard word to handle when inlove.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" Mike screamed. The moment was so mindblowing, we forgot we were in Mikeal's orphanage. "She's not dead! She can't be dead!" The careers grabbed him kwa the arms, threw him to the ground and beat him. "Mike..." Jannet whispered, wiping a tear away. "Mike!" She shouted "Jane, don't interfeare, please!" I begged. It didn't work. When a spirit is enraged they have zaidi energy, kinda' like an adrenaline rush.

"Jannet, where are you?!" Mike shouted. "She's dead! Get over it, boy!" The Head Misstrus boomed. "LEAVE HIM!" Jannet demanded. The women stared at her in disbelif.
posted by darkwave
"I forgave almost unforgivable mistakes ...
I tried to replace irreplaceable and unforgettable people forget ...
I've done things on impulse ...
I've never been disappointed with people when I thought let me down ...
But someone disappointed ...
Already embraced to protect ...
Since I could not laugh when ...
I made Marafiki for life ...
I loved and was loved ...
But I've been rejected ...
I loved and not loved ...
It screamed and jumped for joy ...
I have lived and made vows of eternal upendo ...
"I broke the face" many times ...
I cried listening to muziki and viewing picha ...
Since I called...
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        Beginning of Prologue
    
I opened my eyes to the bright sun shining in through my window. It was too bright that I had to squint. I rolled out of kitanda lazily and went to my closet to grab my clothes for today. I rubbed my eyes and looked into the mirror and saw my messy hair, it looked as if it were medusas hair. There was a knock on the door and the familiar voice called out my name like honey. “Jamie? Are wewe awake yet?” Nick asked through the door. Quickly, I ran to my bedroom door and flung it open and collapsed into...
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posted by Kimi4312
(This is a maarufu online novel I had been posting on my Facebook account, enjoy! ^_^)

~Chapter 1: How To Save A Life~
Dawn was a beautiful young woman who recently caught her boyfriend cheating on her with another woman, Dawn wrote a suicide note to give to her Marafiki Jessica, Kristina, Alison and Madison, Dawn puts on her black dress and takes a razor blade with her, Dawn walks on her apartment housing roof that is 20 feet below, she sits there watching her boyfriend have sex with another woman, Dawn's dark eyes begins to pour out tears as her moyo begins to break she steps on the edge of...
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posted by Lore_Master
These side affects were takeing a toll on the hero gradually wearing him down, the doctor took the hero in as his own careing for him and makeing sure he was brought up well, "Two year's have passed since that night." the hero thought to himself as he got up out of kitanda to start what seemed like a normal summer siku "Boy where are wewe it's time to start work!" excalimed the old man as he knocked on his door "Eh... I hate mornings." alisema the hero as he got up out of kitanda getting dressed to start another day. With the sun bareing down on them it seemed as if hell had found it's way to Siege "Are...
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posted by Lore_Master
He couldn't stop stareing at his reflection "What am I? who am I...?" he asked himself looking at the black wings on his back, he took hold of his wings ripping them off violently howling in pain, massive amounts of blood were gushing from his back he began feeling weak soon falling to the ground into the puddle of muddy water he layed there lifeless he had completely aliyopewa up, he slowly faded out of consciousness as his blood slowly filled the muddy puddle he started to laugh feeling the madness took over his mind, he rolled over to look at the star's once zaidi before he was completely dead...
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posted by para-scence
I wasn't the only one that got busted; Jordan and Rigby did as well. They threw me into the police car, inayofuata to them. They stared sullenly at the floor.

"You kids are in a lot of trouble," the cop alisema as he drove us to the station. Why did he have to even say that? We all knew it already. I closed my eyes, and tried not to think. Already, I was getting a splitting headache. I didn't want to think about what was happening, au what was going to happen. I wonder what would happen if I asked the cop for my drugs back...

When we got to the station, they put us in a cell directly. They alisema we were...
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posted by StarWarsFan7
 Rosella
Rosella
"Well...that's better." A fourteen-year-old Rosella Karst says. She had just cast a spell on a glass cup which is now filled with water. She grabs the cup and takes a sip. "What are wewe doing?!" Rosella's older sister, Pandora exclaims for she had just arrived. Rosella almost chokes on the hydrogen and oxygen drink. "Drinking water. Why? Is that illegal?" She sets the glass down on a coffee meza, jedwali in the magical wizard lair that they are in. Pandora takes Rosella's wizard wand which has a vine stem and a beautiful white rose at the top. "I'm not joking. Why couldn't wewe just go downstairs, get...
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Once upon a time there was a girl named Evangeline Lovesky and all she wanted was to have friends, but no one wanted to be her friend because she was a princess and they thought that if they made her angry she would have them killed. But she was very nice and would not. Evangeline was about 5' tall and was 13 years old and has beautiful golden hair about to her waist. One siku she was bored an decided to take a walk. She walked all the way from the castle, past the market, and all the way to a small corner of houses surrounded kwa fields. These were the farmers houses, though the farmers were...
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posted by RiverIce
When I wake up, my mother is shaking me around.
"Wake up, my Willow Princess! A meeting needs to be arranged right now! It is urgent, my princess!" She says. I get up quickly and put on my winter dress. when i get out of my wooden room my grandmother is standing on the Ceremony Rock shouting out angry words.
"We need to stand up for ourselves!"
"Yeah!" the Willow People shout altogether.
"We need to onyesha the Mbwa mwitu loups who's boss!"
"Yeah!"
this goes on until my grandmother calls my mother and me up.
my mother talks softly, "The wolves... they have sent the Death-Message... they want battle......
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The bus shudders on the rough dirt road. Us living in the middle of nowhere, it's kinda hard to get to our house via bus. I wipe away a tear, I wasn't crying, just a bila mpangilio tear. I lean mbele and tell the bus monitor to let me off here. She gives me a look, but yells and the bus driver to stop. I collect my heavy bags, and walk out. I start running. I hear the bus turn around, but I just keep running. My bags clang against me, knocking me over several times. I just get up and keep on running. I kneel down, getting dirt all over my trousers. I vomit into the dirt, my lunch of saladi and an...
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posted by GabbyRaptor
All this pain just inside...I cannot let it go.... It hurts so bad...Seeing the one wewe upendo in the arms of another.... Each night I cry myself to sleep,just hopeing the inayofuata siku will be even beter...But these words always run through my mind..."You're going to die alone".. It repetes and repetes...Pain ... Oh how it hurts so... But what makes it worse...That someone that's with the one my upendo ...is my rival....Time has stopped to wewe as your tears run down slowly on my cheek.... I've Lost almost everyone in my life... It's even scary just trying to be myself....They say if wewe keep your feelings jared up...you'll snap... That's haven't happened to me yet... And hope it will never will. Don't keep your feelings jared up... au one siku you'll snap
posted by wolfclan121
"Now who's gonna take care of Mike!" Jane screamed at the juu of her voice. "Now how am I suppose to marry Dave! Now how am I suppose to become an archaeologist!" "Mike, marriage, archaeology?!" I said, confused. "Oh, I can't explain now! I just wish I listened to David." She sighed. "Don't beat yourself up. David has the gift, wewe can still talk to him." She forced a smile. "Gift?" Dave whispered as he entered the room. "More like a curse." "David, i'm so sorry I didn't listen! But I just never thought-" "Save it." He butted in. "Everyone I've ever loved ends up dead. I should have seen it coming." "But wewe did! wewe tried to save my life and I was to stupid and selfish to care." "Janet." He sighed. "I don't think I can talk to wewe anymore. Never again." She stared at him, her face appalled. "What are wewe saying?!" "I'm saying seeing you, like this, it just, it just breaks my heart."
posted by wolfclan121
Death was in the park. He was making a crack in a plank of the bridge right in front of them. Right in front of Jannet. "Um..Jane I think we should tell your Marafiki to meet us at your place!" Dave yelled. "Why? The're over there in the car park." "I - I just don't think wewe should kuvuka, msalaba that bridge! It looks unsafe!" "It's fine! Come on!" But it wasn't fine. As soon as she stepped on that first plank, she fell through. Her foot was stuck in between two planks and she couldn't move. She was drowning. "Jane! No not Jane too!" He screamed as he tried to free her broken foot. Jane too? Then I...
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posted by Insight357
    I bent back gracefully, my arms extended to where my fingers almost skimmed the ice. I slid along a curve before straightening back up, a black feathered sleeve coming across my face. My feet crossed as I went into a small spin on the frozen water. I skated over to the light blue wall, and took a long breath.
    I had been training for a skating competition for about a week, and I could feel the bruises from yesterday throbbing. I’d had my fair share of falls the past week and it seemed today the siku the pain wanted to play hell.
    I...
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posted by wolfclan121
I loved to write songs. These beautiful poems of love, heartbreak, life and misery. I still do. Shame they'll never reach the world as I hoped.
But, life is life and death is well, death. I wish I could still play with Eyes Of The Wolf, my old band. I remember the lullaby I wrote for Jannet when she had nightmares.


'Prr, Prr
Of the Cat on the mat so peaceful
Cheep, Cheep
Of the Bird in the garden so alive
Neigh, Neigh
Of the Horse on the racecourse so mwepesi, teleka
Woof, Woof
Of the Pup in the tulips so playful
But now please my dear Jannet rest
So tomorrow wewe take life's inayofuata test'




I still sing it to her every night. But she can't hear me now. Maybe i'm just not imba loud enough. Sometimes she hears me sing a few lines. I know because sometimes when I sing she'll start crying. I don't know why. Maybe she misses me. au maybe I scare her. I don't know. The world is a very strange place
posted by SueLuvsVJ101
 The leader, Miranda, looking like she stepped from a 17 magizine, as always.
The leader, Miranda, looking like she stepped from a 17 magizine, as always.
I watched the 'It' girls stride down the hall. They smiled their perfect, white toothed smiles at cute senior boys, who of course drooled and practicially fell over. The way they looked, you'd think they owned the school. The leader, Miranda, pulled out her perfectly intact iPhone with its blinged out pink case, and texted quickly, lavender thumbs tapping the screen. Her crew, Kristen and Lillianna, dutifully following like mbwa on leashes. Miranda was a beautifully devious, and knew how to make it hurt HARD. Lillianna wasn't much for saying anything, anything NICE, that is. And of course,...
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posted by jklilly56
    “Dude are wewe even ready for school inayofuata Monday? I haven’t had time to go shopping with getting ready for fair and everything.” I was talking to my best friend Kat on the phone since I was freaking out about doing two project boards in less than 12 hours. “Hell to the no I’m not, wewe know me procrastinating Randy. We’ll have to go shopping on Sunday when we’re all done cleaning up.” It was so hard getting ready to go into our freshman mwaka when our first siku after the county fair ended. “Randy! How am I ever going to get all my clothes figured out?!”...
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posted by nick_cross
When I awoke it was already dark out, and there was a man on the other side of the porch screaming out into the night, I rose and tried to listen. I couldn’t make out much of what he was saying but it sounded like he was asking a lot of questions. For a sekunde I thought maybe he was screaming at somebody. Out of curiosity, I started walking over to him to see who he was screaming at. When I got close enough I could see that he was looking up facing the sky, I couldn’t see his face because it was covered kwa the shadow casted from the ceiling of the porch. When I got even closer I smelled...
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