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posted by Canada24
So.. Uh.. Yeah.. I upendo Key and Peele.. And too like this movie, wewe need too upendo this humour, other wise it'll be just like any other, stupid, cliched comedy. Witch dick jokes, swearing, guns, and stereotypes..

So.. First.. A little background.

Keagen Michael Key and Jordan Peele were originally cast against each other so that fox, mbweha could pick one black cast member (cause there's NOTHING racist about that).

but both ended up being picked after demonstrating great comedic chemistry.

Eventually the two created their OWN series.. Key and Peele.
Each episode of the onyesha consists mainly of several pre-taped sketches starring the two actors. The sketches cover a variety of societal topics, often with a focus on American maarufu culture, ethnic stereotypes, and race relations.

Keagen had won 2 awards, and was nominated 12 times.

Same for Peele. Who also does stand up, but other than that, he does very little outside of Key and Peele. As where Key can be seen in many many sinema as minor characters, and usually being the best part of alisema movie.. Cause most of them are awful..

So, now, lets do the movie staring AND directed kwa Key and Peele.

As usual, I'll repast the plot of the movie.. So here we go..

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Smoke and Oil Dresden (played kwa Key and Peele in one of their left over costumes from the tv show), are a pair of professional assassins known as the "Allentown Boys", who enter a drug-processing facility run kwa a Mexican drug cartel and kill everyone inside, including the boss King Diaz. The assassins take take Diaz's baby kitten, Iglesias, but when they are momentarily distracted kwa policemen arriving, the cat escapes.

Meanwhile, Rell (Peele) has just been dumped kwa his girlfriend; and while soaking, and smoking weed, because of coarse he does, he finds Iglesias on his doorstep, believes it too be a stray and adopts it, calling it Keanu.

Rell's cousin Clarence (Key) comes over to cheer him up and meets Keanu as well. Making that humourish face we see in the trailer and calling it "the cutest cat he's ever seen in his life".

Two weeks later, Clarence's wife, Hannah (Nia Long) and their daughter go out of town with the husband and daughter of a family friend, leaving Clarence alone.
Rell, who is much happier after taking care of Keanu and making a cliche calendar with it, kwa taking various picture, takes Clarence take him out to see a Liam Neeson movie, telling Clearence he needs too loosen up.

But when the two return to Rell's house, they find the place has been ransacked and Keanu is missing. A distraught Rell drags Clarence along to the next-door residence of his weed dealer Hulka (Will Forte), who is blackmailed (by Rell threatening too destroy Hulka's favourite muziki albums) into revealing that the 17th St. Blips, a local gang, may have raided Rell's house instead of his, and directs them to a downtown strip club.

Rell and Clarence reluntantely go there, where Rell convinces Clarence to adopt a "gangsta" persona in order to infiltrate the gang; they call themselves "Tectonic" and "Shark Tank". The two meet Hi-C (Tiffany Haddish), who initially is skeptical of them, but nonetheless takes them to meet the gang's leader Cheddar (Method Man), who mistakes them for the Allentown Boys.

Cheddar has Keanu (having renamed him New Jack), and Rell asks for the cat, offering money, but keeping in character.

Cheddar will only do give over the cat, if they come along as expert advisors for the Blips on a run to sell a new drug called "Holy Shit"; they both reluctantly agree.

After taking their team through a team-building exercise, Rell, Clarence, Hi-C, and three other gang members drive to their delivery spot. While Clarence stays behind and introduces the young men to the muziki of George Michael (whom he describes as if he were black, to overcome their skepticism), Rell and Hi-C go to make the sale; the buyer turns out to be Anna Faris, who is partying with two friends. Faris invites them to play Truth au Dare; she dares Hi-C to shoot Rell. When Hi-C refuses, a fight ensues in which Faris and her two guests are both shot and killed kwa Hi-C, traumatizing Rell.

Later at the strip club after the run, Clarence accidentally smokes some Holy Shit, and experiences a drug trip in which he appears in a George Michael video, and Keanu speaks to him in the voice of Keanu Reeves (obviously for ironic reasons).

Rell begins to worry about his cousin and convinces him to just take Keanu and leave. The two do so, but are abducted on their way to their car kwa the REAL Allentown Boys. Who tie Rell and Clarence to chairs and prepare to torture them, but Keanu claws through Rell's ropes, allowing him to free himself and Clarence, and they grab the Allentown Boys' guns. The Allentown boys continue to approach them, but Clarence and Rell panic and completely unload the guns into them, seemingly killing them, and horrifying Rel and Clarence at the fact they done so.

On their way out of the building searching for Keanu, Rell and Clarence run into the Blips; Cheddar has discovered their real identities from a kidnapped Hulka, and forces them to come along to a meeting with the Mexican drug cartel at its mansion in the morning. At the meeting, the Blips meet with King Diaz's cousin bacon (Luis Guzmán), offering Clarence and Rell as the supposed Allentown Boys, but when bacon also demands "Iglesias", Cheddar refuses and starts a gunfight between the two gangs. Clarence and Rell realize that the team-building exercise the two took the gang through has improved their communication; they pick up guns and shoot their way out of the mansion in pursuit of Bacon, who has taken Keanu, only for Rell to be shot in the leg and Clarence shot in the hand.

Rell – who doesn't have a driver license – hijacks Bacon's escape car with bacon and Keanu in the back; Clarence gives chase in a car that belongs to Bacon's son. The chase ends at Clarence's house, where Rell crashes into the front yard, sending bacon flying through where the windshield of the car would have been, had it not been removed in the chase. bacon gets up and attempts to shoot Rell, but Clarence runs him over. bacon gets up again, but is shot and killed kwa Cheddar and the Blips. The Blips threaten Rell and Clarence, but Hi-C – secretly a police officer – breaks her cover and forces the Blips to drop their guns. When Cheddar attempts to shoot her, she kills him. The police arrive, and Hi-C reveals that Faris and her party guests were in on the whole operation and are all still alive, but Rell and Clarence will still have to go to jail for the activities they've taken part in, including the killing of the Allentown Boys; she promises to testify for leniency and agrees to go on a tarehe with Rell after they get out of jail.

Six months later, Rell and Clarence have only three weeks left on their jail sentences, but have commanded respect among the inmates – including the remaining Blips – for killing the Allentown boys. Hi-C, who has been taking care of Keanu, speaks with Rell through a visitation phone, where she reveals that she's just been to the veterinarian and discovered that Keanu has a rare disease: he will remain a kitten permanently.

In a post-credits scene, the Allentown Boys are revealed to have survived the shooting and get back into their car.

So.. What do wewe think?
Sound good?

Cause it's what I expected.. In a good way..
#1:
"I make sinema for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."


#2:
"I've done zaidi girls than all of you."


#3:
“Are wewe chewing gum? wewe can not chew gum! It’s the most unsexy thing wewe can do when you’re trying to do sexy shit!"


#4:
“Hey watch that light, thats our only Jesus thing-a-ma-jig!”


#5:
“Give me something to wipe the air with.”


#6:
"The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate—but uses the word "retard" in his vocabulary, come on/"
Farcry 3 should be a movie.

I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.

But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.

Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.

But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..

This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
posted by Canada24
#1: THEY HAVE OUR BACK:
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..


#2: BANDS:
They have Metallica and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..


#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..


#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..


#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..


#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest Youtube guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..


#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..


#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..


#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.


#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..
posted by Canada24
Sense Eric is my is my new favourite Jimmy Tatro character. I decided to have a marathon of him, and looked up every video featuring him.. (sorry if I left out some, Eric is a HUGE character)..

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Dubstep

THAT drunk girl (small appearance)

Types of Drunks (the Pros)

Squad brunch

Why white dudes shouldn't rap (one of his funniest ones)

The translator

The intervention

Avengers gone wrong

Superman is our roommate

Who do wewe know here

The impressionist

Cribs: Breakup Edition

The ndoto Draft

March Sadness (one of the voices)

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#1: THE BOOGEYMAN - VINCENT VEVA CAVA:
I ilitumwa this story all over shabiki pop, so we all know it.
* Little boy keeping parents up at night.
* Mystery lady in closet takes little boy.
* Little boy is secretly replaced kwa large, morphing, Maggot..


#2: THEY PUSHED HER:
it was meant to just be a prank, but they are shocked to realize that they accidently killed the poor girl.
Anyway, due to being a creepypasta, obviously Carmen's ghost returns to haunt them.
The girls began getting mysterious e mails saying "they pushed her" and it never says who it's from.
It reminds me of the Simpsons Halloween episode,...
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posted by Canada24
SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

ON ROAD:

Packie: hujambo Niko.. Dash.. Glad wewe two could make it.

Dash: Of coarse... So Gracie.. Remember me?

Gracie: (gagged) Yes wewe tit-less slut.. HOPE wewe DIE!

Dash: Yes.. We shared some good times didn't we?

Gracie: (gagged) I'LL RIP YOUR FACE OFF!

Packie: Gracie, watch your mouth. Lucia is a good friend of mine. Don't say that about her.

Gracie: (gagged) Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

Packie: Gracie, you're sweet. I know I'm too good for her, but sometimes a guy has got to hang out with lowlifes like Dashie here.. She's got his her uses.

Gracie: (gagged) I'll give you...
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posted by Canada24
"Alright Mrs Lucia.. wewe got the stuff?" asked one of the 4 men.

"Yes I do Tom.. But don't try any funny business" Dash alisema sternly.

"Oh please.. Like I'm suppose to be scared of a girl, who dosen't even have big breasts" Tom replied.

"Yeah well, nobody told wewe to look at them" Packie said, eyeing Tom.

"Nobody fuckin asked for YOUR opinion!" Tom rudely alisema to Packie.

"Hey fuck you!" Packie cried out, and Dash had to hold him back.

"Look Tom.. Just give us the money.. And everyone will be happy" Dash said, calmly.

"What if we DON'T" Tom replied.

"Then we kill wewe and take the money anyway" Packie...
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posted by Canada24
SEVERAL DAYS LATER

"So where we going?" Niko asked.

"I got this meeting over on Joliet Street. There's a bunduki up on the roof of the place inayofuata door. wewe need to go up there and make sure nothing goes wrong" Packie said, as he and Niko were meeting for the first time.

"I suppose I can handle that" Niko insisted.

"Great.. Though this isn't MY deal.. It's someone else's.. who owes Elizabeta a little bit of money... I'm suppose watching over the person, same way your watching 'me'.. Your my guardian angel, boy" Packie said.

"If wewe and this stranger don't trust these guys you're doing the deal with,...
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posted by Canada24
CURRENT AGE: 29.. (25 during GTA 4).

PREFERED WEAPON: (shotguns, pistols).

BACKGROUND:
It's unknown what officially caused the death of her family, but she mentions her unnamed sister died of cancel.
And Packie and Maureen are the only family she has left, even though they obviously aren't related.
It's never FULLY mentioned, how she found Packie in the first place..


APPEARENCE:
Usually described as an very attractive girl.
But also a bit of a short one.
Along with long brunette hair, rosy eyes (kinda similar to upinde wa mvua Dash from my little pony).


PERSONALITY
Dash isn't your typical GIRLY girl.
She's...
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added by Canada24
video
#1: FREDDY KRUEGER (nightmare on Elms mitaani, mtaa spoof):
Most of Freddy's most disturbing traits are replaced kwa his immature behavior.
for example, he refuses to kill Nancy till she becomes scared of him, when she starts getting bored kwa how long he's taking to kill him.,
Freddy goes around quoting every line he EVER had in the actual movies, and also using nukuu from other sinema (though he denies it and claims it's HIS quote).
Due to this "new" personality, it's possible that only reason he's killing people in their sleep, is because he "can" kill us in our sleep..


#2: RICK GRIMES (Walking Dead...
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#1: METALLICA:
I literary grew up lessoning to these guys, I never saw them live, but probably will never need to.

#2: THREE DAYS GRACE:
Again.
I grew up with these guys.
And even have an autographed picture of them.
And, on zaidi then one occasion, I use them in school projects.

#3: NICELBACK:
All the same as alisema for Three days grace.
Accept the autographed picture part.

#4: EMINEM:
Ever sense 8 mile he became all I ever lesson too.

#5: AVENGED SEVENFOLD:
It's kinda hard to explain, but my foundness of them goes from WAY back. Not even sure how long, but I know it was at least 4 au 5 years.

#6: DISTURBED:...
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posted by Canada24
#1: Dragonowitiz:
For those who don't know. This is my name for Pony.Mov Spike. Based on the characters last name.. Anyway. There are lots of reasons he's on here.. Can't name any at the moment though..

#2: Alucard Abridged:

#3: Jan Valentine, both version:
He is every bad thing wewe can think of. But he's also hilarious. And a good villain..

#4: Abridged Anderson:

#5: SwagDash:
Total bitch, and she would take this as an compliment.. But still.. SWAG!! She says SWAG!!

#6: Shydale:
My name for Pony.mov Fluttershy. Again based on the last name.. She murders without remorse, but she still has that...
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#10:
Goku: Gohan. Get to the ship. If Puccalo dies. This would of been all for nothing..
Gohan: Wow. This is Serprisingly thought out for you.
Goku: (sternly) Gohan.. Where should wewe be wait now?
Gohan: ... This shi-
Goku: THE SHIP!!

#9:
Reditiz: (explaining what Goku is)
Goku: .. What?
Reditiz: Plus I am your brother
Goku: What?
Reditiz: You.. Fell on your head as a baby didn't you?
Goku: ... What?

#8:
Piccolo: We're here to stop the senseless slaughter of these people.
Frieza: 92..
Piccolo: This has gone on for too long. And now wewe must suffer.
Frieza: 355..
Piccolo: And we're the ones who will stop...
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#1: HOW DID LANDON RICKETS GET JOHN'S NAME:
In the mission where Landon gives wewe 3rd dead eye. John never told Landon his name.
So how did he know it during the inayofuata mission?


#2: DOSE ANYONE MAKE JOHN MARSTON FAMISH FOR "BAD" REASONS:
I think about it.
But it's just something about John, that makes it (mentally) impossible for me to go around killing and robbing the innocent people for no actual reason.
Instead I'm always saving strangers, and doing night watches, not even killing on night watches, just hogtying them.
I wonder what would happen if wewe make him famish for the "wrong" reasons. But...
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#1: HOYT VOLKER:
Why do I upendo this guy so much!?
He is a evil dictator, who murders and tortures innocent tourists. And cares only about two things.
* Himself
* Money
Even Vaas is afraid of him. A man who makes Trevor look "sane"..


#2: VLADIMIR MAKAROV:
Makarov started WW3, simply because he COULD..


#3: EDDIE LOW:
ddie Low is a bila mpangilio character who appears in Grand Theft Auto IV. He is a pedophilic, necrophiliac serial killer operating in Liberty City. The player encounters him on two occasions as Niko Bellic, who assists him (unaware of what type of person Eddie is).
But Eddie later makers the mistake...
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#1: GUYS THAT SUCK:

Partically..

* Loud car guy

* Joke stealing guy

* Glutten free guy

* Negative guy (tells about his puppy being dead).

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#2: TYPES OF DRUNKS:

Most drunk people I know are either "The Orator" au "The Drifter"..

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#3: THAT DRUNK GUY:

My friend Bradley Odam in a nutshell, xD..

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#4: DON'T BE THAT GUY:

We ALL know that "loud phone guy", and we ALL wanna kick his ass, xD..

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After recommending a few games to my hetero lifemate, Canada24, I thought “You know… I should annoy him kwa giving him some anime to watch”. Now, I know Canada isn’t the best when it comes to understanding Japanese culture, so I need to be as careful as I possibly can with this list. Like disarming a bomb. Only this will probably leave a lot less casualties if I fuck up. So, seeing as how this will never make the front page, I am going to put little effort into this opening and just get started.

#10: Samurai Champloo



I do not expect Canada to ever watch this anime. This is just one...
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added by Dreamtime
#1:
The Major: My friends, it has often been alisema that I like war. My friends, I like war. No, friends, I upendo war!


#2:
The Major: Here it comes, I can feel it. A mighty river, a river of death. *laughs* The dead, ha, shall dance... AND ALL OF HELL SHALL SING!!


#3:
Major: Our purpose, is the total absence of purpose.. wewe should be aware, Fräulein, that there are some people in this world, some irredeemable louts, for whom the means do not require an end. I speak, of course, of myself.
Maxwell: (to Major) Your insane..
Major: Did I just hear someone from Iscariot questioning my sanity? Then...
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