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posted by Canada24
So.. Uh.. Yeah.. I upendo Key and Peele.. And too like this movie, wewe need too upendo this humour, other wise it'll be just like any other, stupid, cliched comedy. Witch dick jokes, swearing, guns, and stereotypes..

So.. First.. A little background.

Keagen Michael Key and Jordan Peele were originally cast against each other so that fox, mbweha could pick one black cast member (cause there's NOTHING racist about that).

but both ended up being picked after demonstrating great comedic chemistry.

Eventually the two created their OWN series.. Key and Peele.
Each episode of the onyesha consists mainly of several pre-taped sketches starring the two actors. The sketches cover a variety of societal topics, often with a focus on American maarufu culture, ethnic stereotypes, and race relations.

Keagen had won 2 awards, and was nominated 12 times.

Same for Peele. Who also does stand up, but other than that, he does very little outside of Key and Peele. As where Key can be seen in many many sinema as minor characters, and usually being the best part of alisema movie.. Cause most of them are awful..

So, now, lets do the movie staring AND directed kwa Key and Peele.

As usual, I'll repast the plot of the movie.. So here we go..

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Smoke and Oil Dresden (played kwa Key and Peele in one of their left over costumes from the tv show), are a pair of professional assassins known as the "Allentown Boys", who enter a drug-processing facility run kwa a Mexican drug cartel and kill everyone inside, including the boss King Diaz. The assassins take take Diaz's baby kitten, Iglesias, but when they are momentarily distracted kwa policemen arriving, the cat escapes.

Meanwhile, Rell (Peele) has just been dumped kwa his girlfriend; and while soaking, and smoking weed, because of coarse he does, he finds Iglesias on his doorstep, believes it too be a stray and adopts it, calling it Keanu.

Rell's cousin Clarence (Key) comes over to cheer him up and meets Keanu as well. Making that humourish face we see in the trailer and calling it "the cutest cat he's ever seen in his life".

Two weeks later, Clarence's wife, Hannah (Nia Long) and their daughter go out of town with the husband and daughter of a family friend, leaving Clarence alone.
Rell, who is much happier after taking care of Keanu and making a cliche calendar with it, kwa taking various picture, takes Clarence take him out to see a Liam Neeson movie, telling Clearence he needs too loosen up.

But when the two return to Rell's house, they find the place has been ransacked and Keanu is missing. A distraught Rell drags Clarence along to the next-door residence of his weed dealer Hulka (Will Forte), who is blackmailed (by Rell threatening too destroy Hulka's favourite muziki albums) into revealing that the 17th St. Blips, a local gang, may have raided Rell's house instead of his, and directs them to a downtown strip club.

Rell and Clarence reluntantely go there, where Rell convinces Clarence to adopt a "gangsta" persona in order to infiltrate the gang; they call themselves "Tectonic" and "Shark Tank". The two meet Hi-C (Tiffany Haddish), who initially is skeptical of them, but nonetheless takes them to meet the gang's leader Cheddar (Method Man), who mistakes them for the Allentown Boys.

Cheddar has Keanu (having renamed him New Jack), and Rell asks for the cat, offering money, but keeping in character.

Cheddar will only do give over the cat, if they come along as expert advisors for the Blips on a run to sell a new drug called "Holy Shit"; they both reluctantly agree.

After taking their team through a team-building exercise, Rell, Clarence, Hi-C, and three other gang members drive to their delivery spot. While Clarence stays behind and introduces the young men to the muziki of George Michael (whom he describes as if he were black, to overcome their skepticism), Rell and Hi-C go to make the sale; the buyer turns out to be Anna Faris, who is partying with two friends. Faris invites them to play Truth au Dare; she dares Hi-C to shoot Rell. When Hi-C refuses, a fight ensues in which Faris and her two guests are both shot and killed kwa Hi-C, traumatizing Rell.

Later at the strip club after the run, Clarence accidentally smokes some Holy Shit, and experiences a drug trip in which he appears in a George Michael video, and Keanu speaks to him in the voice of Keanu Reeves (obviously for ironic reasons).

Rell begins to worry about his cousin and convinces him to just take Keanu and leave. The two do so, but are abducted on their way to their car kwa the REAL Allentown Boys. Who tie Rell and Clarence to chairs and prepare to torture them, but Keanu claws through Rell's ropes, allowing him to free himself and Clarence, and they grab the Allentown Boys' guns. The Allentown boys continue to approach them, but Clarence and Rell panic and completely unload the guns into them, seemingly killing them, and horrifying Rel and Clarence at the fact they done so.

On their way out of the building searching for Keanu, Rell and Clarence run into the Blips; Cheddar has discovered their real identities from a kidnapped Hulka, and forces them to come along to a meeting with the Mexican drug cartel at its mansion in the morning. At the meeting, the Blips meet with King Diaz's cousin bacon (Luis Guzmán), offering Clarence and Rell as the supposed Allentown Boys, but when bacon also demands "Iglesias", Cheddar refuses and starts a gunfight between the two gangs. Clarence and Rell realize that the team-building exercise the two took the gang through has improved their communication; they pick up guns and shoot their way out of the mansion in pursuit of Bacon, who has taken Keanu, only for Rell to be shot in the leg and Clarence shot in the hand.

Rell – who doesn't have a driver license – hijacks Bacon's escape car with bacon and Keanu in the back; Clarence gives chase in a car that belongs to Bacon's son. The chase ends at Clarence's house, where Rell crashes into the front yard, sending bacon flying through where the windshield of the car would have been, had it not been removed in the chase. bacon gets up and attempts to shoot Rell, but Clarence runs him over. bacon gets up again, but is shot and killed kwa Cheddar and the Blips. The Blips threaten Rell and Clarence, but Hi-C – secretly a police officer – breaks her cover and forces the Blips to drop their guns. When Cheddar attempts to shoot her, she kills him. The police arrive, and Hi-C reveals that Faris and her party guests were in on the whole operation and are all still alive, but Rell and Clarence will still have to go to jail for the activities they've taken part in, including the killing of the Allentown Boys; she promises to testify for leniency and agrees to go on a tarehe with Rell after they get out of jail.

Six months later, Rell and Clarence have only three weeks left on their jail sentences, but have commanded respect among the inmates – including the remaining Blips – for killing the Allentown boys. Hi-C, who has been taking care of Keanu, speaks with Rell through a visitation phone, where she reveals that she's just been to the veterinarian and discovered that Keanu has a rare disease: he will remain a kitten permanently.

In a post-credits scene, the Allentown Boys are revealed to have survived the shooting and get back into their car.

So.. What do wewe think?
Sound good?

Cause it's what I expected.. In a good way..
Play this song when kusoma it: link

Phone guy: So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh ... Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the siku too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, wewe know?.. But anyway.. Freddy WILL kill wewe on sight.. But if wewe survive the night.. Let's have a bia to celebrate..*hangs up*

Player: WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!.. Can't...
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posted by Canada24
I don't want to completely FORGET about this series..

It'll probably get really good.
Episode 3 got pretty interesting at the end.
So gives me hope.

As usual.
I don't really have much for to say.
Though I can't say Light is my most inayopendelewa character.

And I have a bit of trouble taking this series all that seriously, guess it's that spirit au whatever, he's so creepy looking that it somehow cracks me up.

But either way.
Guess I'm sticking to the onyesha till the end.
As a reviewer I HAVE to.

I hear Cathy Weseluck has a role.
She's one of my favourite actress's, only one I liked BEFORE MLP.
Unless wewe count Tera Strong, although, I don't always like Tera Strong. She's overused..
added by Canada24
video
creepypastas
posted by Canada24
upendo is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah

Hey!
C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon, moto me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet, yeah

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light...
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posted by Canada24
Woah, Oh, Oh!

Woah, Oh, Oh~!

We are the ones!
We are the warriors!
We are the ones, who fight for our right!
We fight alone!
And yet we get what we want!
We upendo the battle, and we will die for a cause!

Woah, Oh, Oh~!

We are the warriors of time!

We are the warriors of time!

We are the warriors of time!

We are the warriors of time, yeah!

And we will fight! (We will fight!)
Till the day, that we die!
And we will live! (We will live!)
For the battle!
And for the people!
And they will tell! (They will tell!)
All the stories!
About the warriors of time!

Woah, Oh, Oh~!

We are the warriors of time!

We are the warriors...
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video
wewe and me!
We have no faces!
Soon our lives, will be erased!
Do wewe think, they will remember!?
Or will we just be replaced!?
Oh, I wish that I could see!
How I wish that I could fly!
Far from things that hang above me!
To a place where I can cry!

SO WHY CAN'T IT BE!?

NO ONE HEARS ME CALL!

ECHO'S BACK AT ME!

NO ONE'S THERE!

To all these nameless feelings, I can't deal within my life!
To all these greedy people, trying to feed on what is mine!
You've got to fill your hunger, and stop fucking with my mind!
I know it's time!
To leave these places far behind!

You and me!
We have no faces!
They don't see us anymore!...
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video
added by Canada24
SATEN TWIST:

Saten often reveals to have had a very bad childhood, his father was abusive to him and his mother, and his mother was emotionally distant, never inaonyesha him any true signs of love. As a result, Saten has grown into a recovering alcoholic, who sometimes takes weed, and has strong temper issues witch often makes him unpredictable, and sometimes even sadistic.

However, he is also shown to be quite immature and doesn't often take things too seriously. Cause of this, Saten is often considered one of the most sarcastic characters of the series.

Saten can sometimes be considered a bit...
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BEST OF ANDERSON:

Anderson: Please support the official release, wewe protestant fuckbucket.

Alucard: Well. Now that's over with. Let's go back to my place and eat my inayopendelewa cereal- (gets decapitacated)
Anderson: Now that that's over with, let's go to my place and eat my inayopendelewa cereal- (Sara's gone) AHH SON OF A PROSITION WHORE!
Anderson: Well. wewe know what time it is.. (Rape time)

Anderson: So what can I do for you, Father O'Mally'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan... ah-who is also Italian?

Intergra: wewe do realise. This is a great violation of our agreement.
Anderson: Oh. And...
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posted by Canada24
#1:
Vaas: (shoots Grant in the throat).
Jason: (desperately tries to save him).
Vaas: (his voice is barely heard over Jason trying to save Grant) What, wewe want to run? Huh? wewe want to run, wewe want to disrespect me? wewe want to fuck with me? I mean, wewe come here, with your... with your pretty-boy face, right, and your pretty-boy phone, your dimwit brother, and wewe want to fuck with me. *You want to fuck with me.* I like that - no, I *respect* that. I'm gonna give wewe thirty seconds, and if the jungle doesn't eat wewe up alive... I will.
Jason: (realizes Grant is dead and looks at Vaas).
Vaas:...
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#1: PIPS DEATH:
I think we all know why this scene is here :(


#2: SARAS KILLING ZOMBIE WORKERS:
The valentine brothers turned all the guards into ghouls and Saras goes insane and kills the ghouls..
Guess killing ghouls would of been okay.
But the look on Intergia's face made me feel bad about it.. :(


#3: SARAS GETS TORTURED kwa ZORIN:
I am a very twisted person.
But this is fuckin BRUTAL..


#4: ALUCARD'S PAST:
he was enslaved kwa Ottoman conquerors when he was a child (making an exchange of noble children was often used to maintain peace between Turk and Christian Kingdoms) and suffred the worst childhood...
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posted by Canada24
EPISODE 1:

So..
I finally found it in English.

It's not as good as I hoped.
But.
Nor was it as bad as I expected.

It's.. In between.

I haven't forgot it's Japennesse.
And. Not trying to be racist.
But Japen has all the weird shit.
Ever seen there commericals?
All wewe have to do is go onto Windwakers club.
He has these fucked up TV commericals.
And I wouldn't be serprised if most of them were Japennesse.

Anyway.

Didn't really have a inayopendelewa character.
Though kinda looking foward to Jan Valentine's episode.
Ever seen his clips.
He's actually pretty funny in the real one.
Too bad the actor, Josh...
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posted by Canada24
#1:
Elizabeth: I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard. I'm sorry to upset your plans, but...
Elizabeth's Father: Plans did wewe say? My one and only plan, dear girl, is to see wewe as happy as possible, and I would never dream of forcing wewe to do something wewe don't want to.
Critic:(as Elizabeth's father) Unless it was the beginning of the movie in which case I alisema wewe had no choice.
Critic: (as a scene of Elizabeth and her father hugging plays) Seriously, what did she do different? She made the same argument she did before. In fact, it's actually less angry. Are wewe honestly telling...
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☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

How could she look so fine

How could it be she might be mine

How could she be so cool

I've been taken for a fool

So many times

It's a story of a man

Who works as hard as he can
~~
Just to be a man
who stands on his own

But the book always burns

As the story takes it turn

An leaves a broken man
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could she be so cool

How could she be so fine

I owe a favor to a friend
My Marafiki they always come through for me- Yeah

~~~
It's a story of a man

Who works as hard as he can

Just to be a man

who stands on his own

But the book always burns

As the story takes...
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AM I CRAZY:

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I suppose I should start kwa telling wewe a little about myself. I am 19 years old, I live in Pennsylvania, and I guess I've always been a creative person. When I was little, my parents would remark about what a vivid imagination I had. For the most part I was a normal child. I liked drawing, and writing, and I hated math. I had trouble making friends, so I played with my imaginary friends. We would play games out in the woods. I always liked playing with these friends, because I knew I could trust them, control them....
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