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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If upendo is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were run kwa women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do wewe plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kiti, kiti cha can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice siku in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that kondoo don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 saa convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for zaidi than one goose, bata bukini is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did wewe know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If mizeituni, mzeituni oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do wewe know if sour, wamekula cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern siku witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do farasi call their scary dreams?
41) Do wewe get to keep the time wewe save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does dakika mchele have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do wewe slam revolving doors?
52) If wewe put chakula colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an machungwa, chungwa is machungwa, chungwa and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
added by mina27
"When There's Nothing Left"


When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
When there's nothing left left to say
I'll say it all again, but until then...

And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, Jesus

No muziki to play so I sing wewe my own song
Come on and sing along
When there's nothing that remains
wewe still stay the same
You're looking so strong

And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do

And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, sweet Jesus

When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before

I'm gonna give wewe my heart
I'm gonna give wewe my moyo
1- eye contact , if wewe notice him staring a lot at wewe ..like zaidi than 5 times in the same siku .(unless wewe got a stain on your shirt)
2- if wewe and him were in the same area , he would be with wewe in every where wewe walk to ( like a party au a tamasha ..etc)
3- he would sit inayofuata to wewe in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream au laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to wewe hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if wewe drop something , he would be the first to get it for...
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posted by Gretute2772
1.Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.
2.The only 2 wanyama that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
3.Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
4.It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
5.When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
6.Every time wewe sneeze some of your brain cells die.
7.Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
8.Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome Marafiki and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time wewe read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though wewe may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't upendo you, my love.

I loved wewe with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping gari and switch the items with stuff from the person inayofuata to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen wewe in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of wewe on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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added by BlondLionEzel
Source: Google
These are my juu 15 LEAST inayopendelewa watu mashuhuri and just like with my juu 15 inayopendelewa watu mashuhuri orodha I'm only basing this off who they are as a person, but I will talk about their talent as well. I will also tell wewe how attractive I think these people are because there are very few on here I find ugly and some I find very attractive, I'm just going to mention it just to onyesha that I'm not biased like some people. This one person who did a orodha like this pretty much just alisema they were all ugly and even compared them to animals. Anyway, this is my orodha and please keep in mind this is just my...
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added by WolfHeart23
Source: internet
added by fatoshleo
Source: @fatoshleo
posted by invadercalliope

Just killing time until the world ends.
Rika Furude (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)

◦Friends are nothing zaidi than the the people who wewe spend the fun yet meaningless times with. When those times get rough, they aren't there to support you.
Ryuuguu Rena (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)
"I will live past June 1983, and then I am going to grow much taller, my breasts are going to get bigger. I'm not going to stay in a child's body for the rest of my life!"
"It's so cute, I want to take it home!"

"Omochiikaeri~!"

"Friends. Those companions wewe speak of are only Marafiki during those fun, yet unimportant...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that wewe "like it that way."
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that wewe haven't received enough chokoleti sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every swali with another question. As soon as one of wewe says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...
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Okay so here's Part 2 :)

21.
Name: Keir O'Donnell (Actor)
From: Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Character: Veck
Attraction: Just everything - he's very beautiful



22.
Name: Tom Chambers (Actor)
From: Waterloo Road
Character: Max Tyler
Attraction: His lovely eyes

link

23.
Name: Jack davenport (Actor)
From: Pirates Of The Caribbean 1-3
Character: James Norrington
Attraction: His smile and actually just him in general - he's like a prince lol



24.
Name: Jonas Armstrong (Actor)
From: Robin Hood
Character: Robin Hood
Attraction: His cheeky smile and I like his accent too



25.
Name: Ed Westwick (Actor)
From:...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub chemsha bongo the other siku I Lost kwa one point. The swali was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other maswali was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing duka that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some mshambuliaji, mlipuaji wa bomu jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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1.    “I came all the way to school before I realized I still had my pyjamas on, and had to go nyumbani and change”

2.    “When I got here my teacher wasn’t in the classroom so I went out looking for him/her”

3.    “I was abducted kwa aliens for experimental purposes. I have been gone for 50 years, but fortunately in Earth time it was only (insert how late wewe are here)”

4.    “I invented a time machine that took me mbele to my exam results. I saw that I got straight A’s, so I thought I might as well...
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added by Blaze1213IsBack
Saturday Night Live skit where Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson invents a child molesting robot. I didn't know about this until today.
video
added by suck_toad
fanpop doesn't like my long description. Read the description here: link
video
meme
kahoot
classroom
yay
awesome
why
muziki