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posted by adaug
"Next...Come in!"Mr. Franklin said.When i walked through the doors,I thought."Wow,this is...it!My first job interview!"I waited for him to tell me to sit down."Sit on the couch."Mr. Franklin commanded.
"Oh...Okay."I sat in the middle of the couch."So,What's your name?Full name?"He asked."Jenifer Grace Golike."I answered."How do wewe spell your last name?"He asked looking up from his clipboard."G-o-l-i-k-e."I replied."Okay,have wewe had any job...experience?"He alisema taping his pen on his paper."Does a maji ya limau, lemonade stand count?"I thought,but of course,NO."No."I decided."Okay,tell us about your background,as...
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posted by cute20k
Do wewe have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause wewe to spit and ask wewe not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. wewe fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. wewe blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All siku long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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1. Bye them a Twilight T-shirt.

2. Constently yell "Team Edward!" au "Team Jacob!" (I prefer Team Edward)

3. When wewe see a dog say "Oh my Twilight, It's a werewolf!"

4. Relate everything they say to something about Twilight.

5. Constently sing "SEXY VAMPIRE" at the juu of your lungs when they're around.

6. When they say "I hate Twilight." start shaking really hard and when they ask wewe whats wrong say "I'm about to turn into a werewolf like Jacob."

7. Recite phrases from the vitabu and say them to the Twilight haters.

8. Ask them if they think Rosalie is pretty.

9. Every time they speak reply with...
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posted by breebree446
Things to Try on an Elevator-

1) CRACK open your briefcase, mkoba au handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the ukuta without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him au her to call wewe Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY 'ding' at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these...
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posted by neonstars
Are wewe a scientist Cause I'd Like to do wewe on a meza, jedwali , Periodically(:

If wewe where a pembetatu You'd be acute one.

Is your name WiFi, because I feel a connection.

There something wrong with my phone, it doesn't have your number in it x3

hujambo baby, better call life alert cause I've fallen for wewe and I can't get up (:

Roses are red. Foxes are clever. I like your but, shall I touch it forever?

wewe remind me of my inayofuata boyfriend.

Do your legs hurt? From running through my dreams all night!

If wewe were a snack pack id eat wewe without a spoon.

wewe smell like a flower. Can I plant wewe in my garden?

Do wewe believe in upendo at first sight, au should I walk kwa again?
posted by canal
Hands fell on my shoulders and pulled me into an embrace. "You see Aliya, my moyo beats unlike Jonathan's, Mason's , au Kody's" he alisema his breath heavy on my neck. "Be quiet" I yelled. Heavy footsteps echoed through the house. "Aliya" many voices yelled in unison.
"A disparu sans laisser de traces, il n'en reste aucun souvenir " he said. We vanished into another room. "Just let me go" I said. "Oh how I pity you, wewe pathetic thing" he alisema stroking my hair. "I'm not pathetic" I alisema pushing him back. "Do wewe know how old I am" he asked. "Eighty" I made a bila mpangilio guess. "No, not even close I'm...
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Dear Diary,
i'm really really sad because i'm still grounded, jake dumped me, ms perrywinkle still slaps me, and mr scalleywag waz fired today :( :(
it all started today - i walked sadly/happly to school, sadly because ms perrywinkle and jake, happly because mr scalleywag (my most favourite teacher of all time) waz my art teacher
as i walked into mr scalleywag's class room i saw dat he waz paking his bags as if is summer
so i asked him why he waz paking, i waz fired yester siku after school, he said.
quickly i ran out of mr.s's class and in the bathroom and balled my eyes out, i waz so sad
but i made it true
and here i'am again still balling my eyes out in my room still grounded

ps my computer is not a dick anymore :D
posted by Bluekait
1. Do wewe sleep in your bra?
2. Does your dad know wewe like guys yet?
3. Are wewe a girly girl?
4. Small au large purses?
5. Are wewe short?
6. Do wewe like somebody?
7. Do wewe care if your socks are dirty?
8. Do wewe like Halloween?
9. Are wewe double jointed?
10. Where is the weirdest place wewe have slept?
11. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
12. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
13. Do wewe call anybody kwa their last name?
14. How many guys will read this just because it says "Girl Confessions"?

GIRLS BE HONEST...
15. What color is the bra that you're wearing?...
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posted by i_luv_Pelon_xxx
Its not finished yet but I'm gonna continue it...this is (will be) also avadable on my DA account
Iluvpelon14

Yay
One day, a little girl named kaluri was at the zoo. She loved monkeys, she loved throwing the chips for them, but mostly attrackted seagulls and other un-monkey like flying pests. She loved turtals too, untill one farted on her and turned her insane. Right now, she is sitting in a mental heatbox in a mental nyumbani for mental hoes and can't stop shaking her head from side to side and moving it round it a mduara, duara like some retarded freak. She also eats air, don't do drugs kids. This child...
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posted by E-Scope90
Historically, sweat has been an active ingredient in perfume and upendo potions.g
In Bali, men believed a woman would fall in upendo if her suitor fed her a certain kind of leaf incised with the image of a god who sported a very large penis.e
The Mexican chief Montezuma considered chokoleti a “love drug” and drank 50 cups of chokoleti a siku before visiting his harem of 600 women.a
Scientists suggest that most people will fall in upendo approximately seven times before marriage.h
Some individuals who claim never to have felt romantic upendo suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease that doesn’t...
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posted by marksmen456
 Pyramid Head Slashing SlenderMan.
Pyramid Head Slashing SlenderMan.
The sound of a Large object on the floor,Being dragged in this,Foggy,Ominous place, What was this place? It was Silent Hill, That noise wewe hearing,Is none other than Pyramid Head, Dragging his sword around,Searching for James. He always does,For he is the Guilt,And the Excecutioner.

The Fog,That,Never ending Fog,It will always be there, But, Something Broke that mist, A tall figure, Wearing a Classical suit, With no face, Having these, Tendrils bursting out of his back. He stood there, In the mist,Alone.

Pyramid Head, Who saw something, Turned, Seeing this, Tall, Slender Man He looked at the...
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posted by iluvsmj
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of wewe bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of wewe bastards who are getting on, get your punda in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want wewe to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When wewe come out,you may play with your train, but I want you...
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posted by BloodyMascara_
Butterfly, Butterfly.
It is ever so cold.
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Save me from the snow.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
One kwa one,
Butterfly, Butterfly.
The soldiers run.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
Keep me safe,
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Fly me away.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
I will upendo wewe forever.
Butterfly, Butterfly.
You will leave me never.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
Where did wewe go?
Butterfly, Butterfly.
I need to know.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
I am not safe,
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Take me away.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
Save me from the growing flames.
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Show me the way.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
It burns so bad.
Butterfly, Butterfly....
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posted by yukikiyruu
How To Know If a Girl Likes wewe – Clichés

Here are some of the signs that have been popularized over the years as ‘ surefire ways to know whether a girl likes you’. Some of these might seem a bit silly, although people claim to these to work; I personally think these are not applicable to every girl that wewe meet. Making inferences about a girl’s feelings merely kwa the way she looks at wewe au kwa the ways she flutters her eyes might seem very romantic and mushy, just like they onyesha it in the movies, but again, if only things shown in the romantic chick flicks would come true, life would’ve...
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[b]Thought I'd post bits of a really far-wandering conversation I had with Cleverbot. I'd post it as a picture but I couldn't figure out how.[b]

Cleverbot: But wewe alisema I would never be the boss of you. Why did wewe change your mind?

User: I did not. And wewe are incorrectly stating what I said. Perhaps wewe have me confused with someone else.

Cleverbot: Only if wewe have an evil twin who is pretending to be wewe on your website. Are wewe sure that YOU'RE not suffering from Short Term Memory loss?

User: Oh my god! Evil Twin Cheryl is back? I told her to stop using my website!

Cleverbot: I'm human, so...
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My fuckin Little gppony, pony be a funky-ass brand of plastic ponies produced since 1983 kwa tha toy manufacturer Hasbro. Marketed primarily ta hoes, tha ponies feature colorful bodies n' manes n' a unique symbol on one and both sidez of they flanks, referred ta up in tha two most hivi karibuni generations as "cutie marks". My fuckin lil gppony, pony was again revamped up in tha mid-2000z wit freshly smoked up n' mo' modern looks ta appeal ta a whole freshly smoked up market.
Followin tha original gangsta My fuckin Pretty gppony, pony toy, introduced up in 1981, My fuckin Little gppony, pony was launched up in 1983 n' tha line became ghettofab durin tha 1980s. Da original gangsta toy line ran from 1983 ta 1995 (1992 up in tha US), n' inspired animated specials, a animated feature length film n' three animated televizzle series.
Da toy line had a lata release up in Japan, kwa Takara up in tha '80s durin Generation 1, n' kwa Takara Tomy up in 2006 fo' a period of time.
posted by selenagomezfan7
meebo
     (meebo) :meebo: *meebo*    
positive
     (smile) :) :-) =) =-)    
     :D :-D x-D X-D (grin)    
     (angel) O:)    
fun
     (lol) x-D X-D :))    
     :P :-P    
     (wink) ;) ;-)    
     ;P ;-P    
     :'D    
     :-> :>    
     (cool) B) B-) 8) 8-)    
     :-* :*    
     :pirate: (arr) (arrr) (pirate) P)    
     <:-p <:o) <:-P (party)    
confused
     :S :-S :s :-s :? :-?    
     (hmm)    
     : :-    
oops
     :x :X :-X :-x    ...
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posted by xoPixie-Popxo
Feel free to add some suggestions au reasons! I may include them on here. :)

From Cartoonnetwork:

Regular Show:
-The uhuishaji is actually decent.
-Funny
-Some characters are actually smart and use common sense

Adventure Time with Finn and Jake
-It has a very weird (but cute) looking setting.
-Funny
-A very fun and adventurous little cartoon (Hence the title, ADVENTURE Time.)

What I have to say to Cartoonnetwork: You're doing a rather decent job. Now let's get zaidi cartoons like these.

From Nickelodeon:

Victorious (but slowly getting worse, like iCarly :/)
-Interesting and original characters
-Fun story...
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posted by karpach_14
1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If wewe have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your Marafiki come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary Marafiki that wewe ask their opinion of everything.

7. After wewe have your bath, wrap, upangaji pamoja a bath towel around wewe and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask wewe what you're doing, say "Wearing...
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It has been almost six months since COVID-19 came into our lives and disrupted it completely. We are now living in a coronavirus pandemic, where we have to take extra precautions about what we eat, who we talk to and how often we leave the house, among other things in order to protect the health of ourselves and our loved ones.

Since no vaccine for COVID-19 has been found yet, the only and best way to control the virus spread is kwa limiting the exposure. Health authorities around the globe have issued recommendations and measures to follow to the virus spread.

In addition to observing these...
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