Alpha and Omega Club
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posted by HumphreyAlpha
"Tonight, on juu Gear, we have a guest who, quite frankly, might have the entire BBC team out of a job fairly soon. Ladies and gentlemen, Phil Loth!"
Phil walked out onto the set and shook Clarkson's outstretched hand.
"So you're a video game designer...."
"Yes I am."
"Tell us, what sort of things have wewe worked on..." Clarkson said, leaning back in his chair.
"Graphics, controls, that kind of stuff."
"What projects have wewe worked on?"
"GTA, Need For Speed, stuff like that."
"GTA? What the bloody hell is GTA?" Clarkson asked to a cacophony of laughter from the audience.
"Grand Theft Auto. It's a sandbox game where the sky is the limit, literally."
"Anything you're particularly proud of?"
"Wildlife."
Jeremy was a bit Lost kwa this... "Wildlife?"
"Wait a sec, something referring to my job wewe meant?"
"Bloody right, about your job..."
Loth shrugged. "Alright then. I'm proud of all the hard work I put in getting those games fixed up."
"Now that's a proper job, unlike ours... Anyway, onto cars, what was your first one?"
"A red 1977 Chevrolet Camaro." The audience booed that one.
"A Camaro?"
"Yes."
"What is wrong with you?" Clarkson asked to roars of laughter.
"What can I say, I'm a Camaro fanatic. Sorry if wewe aren't."
"I can't stand the Camaro! The boot's too small, the interior too cramped..."
"Well, Camaros are what I'm comfortable in."
"Anyway, you're here, to have a go round our track..." He leaned back in the chair. "How do wewe think wewe did?"
"I think I did quite well."
"You spun it in Chicago!"
"Yep!"
"I mean, let's look... How exactly did that happen?"

(See accompanying video)

"When wewe look at it, the tail just steps out. And wewe almost got it back, but wewe Lost it..." Clarkson alisema after looking at the video.
"Well I don't know what to tell wewe there."
Clarkson leaned forward. "You want to know something?" he alisema in a conspiratorial tone.
Phil leaned mbele with him. "Yeah, sure."
"After your lap, Stiggy told me that he was impressed that wewe almost got away with that slide... But then wewe Lost it and his respect for wewe went out the window..." he laughed.
Phil laughed right along with him.
"Anyway, where do wewe think you've come?"
After looking at the lap board for a moment, he had his answer.
"I'd say a Jeff Goldblum."
"Goldblum lapped in a dakika twenty four. wewe think you've beat him? Even with the spin?"
"Yes, maybe, I don't know.."
"Phil..."
Phil leaned in.
"You did it in... One minute... Thirty..."
Phil groaned.
"One... Point...Four."
"Wow."
Clarkson looked astonished. "Unbelievable. wewe only Lost seven sekunde with that spin."
"This is just awesome!"
Clarkson wrote his name and time on the magnetic strip. "You've come between Amber Heard and Bill Bailey!"
"Nice!"
"How was riding with the Stig?"
"Oh it was great!"
"He didn't say much at all, did he?"
Phil laughed. "No, not really."
"That's our tame racing driver... Anyway, it's been a pleasure having wewe on."
"Thanks, it was great being here."
"Ladies and gentlemen, Phil Loth!" Clarkson alisema to a pleased audience.
The two of them shook again, and Phil left the set.
"Onto the news..." alisema Clarkson...
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