Mature Content.
Chris had spent the afternoon installing a tap for Lilly and Garth. He now sat testing his new invention in the deserted pango that was used for meetings. There was nobody else in the room. He put his new invention, a collander with earmuffs and goggles attached to it, on his head and turned it on. Immediately he felt ill. The mind wasn't used to this. He saw a vase on the other side of the room, and slowly reached out, miming picking it up. The vase slowly rose.
"Oh my god." a voice said.
Chris dropped the vase in shock. It shattered on the floor. He spun round.
It was Humphrey.
"Sorry." Chris said.
"How were you-?"
Chris grinned. "It's a physical manupulation... thing."
"You mean wewe can songesha objects with your mind when you're wearing it?"
"Yes."
"I want a go."
Chris handed over the collander. Humphrey picked up the nearest thing: a bone.
"Wow."
Kate came in.
"Why do wewe have a collander on your head, dear?"
Humphrey turned round. "I thought we agreed we wouldn't call each other that?"
"Sorry." She sat down.
"Where am I?" Humphrey asked.
"Jasper park canada-"
"No, I mean where do I sit?"
"Next to me, obviously." Kate said.
Humphrey took his seat. Kate nodded towards one of the seats down the side of the stone table, then gestured for chris to sit in it. He did so.
"Where are lilly and garth? They're late."
"They're always late. Too busy reminding the alphas to come to come themselves."
"They'll be here soon." Chris said. "Hobnob?"
Humphrey frowned. "No, I have a normal one like everyone else."
"They're biscuits." Chris told him.
"Ah. No thanks, then. I prefer cupcakes."
"No, wewe don't." Kate alisema quietly, jabbing him in the ribs. "You eat meat."
Alphas began to slowly file into the room, usualy in pairs. Lilly turned up.
"Lilly." Kate said. "Where's garth?"
"He needed to do somthing." Lilly said. "He alisema to start without him."
"He can say what he wants." Kate said. "We won't get anywhere without him."
Eventually, Garth turned up. "Hobnob, garth?"
"None of your business."
"A hobnob is a biscuit." Chris held one up.
"Oh. I'll have one, then. Have we started?"
"We have now." Kate said, pushing Garth firmly into his seat.
The following conversation was about bila mpangilio things that half the room didn't even care about, like hunting startergies, tweaks to the ration system, deepening of the pits so they couldn't be jumped out of kwa the zaidi agile alphas,(Humphrey brought that one up) and cupcakes. Eventually, Kate got around to introducing Chris, who showed them all the Physical Manipulator, as well as how to start a moto and how to cook meat so that it tasted better. "Chris." Garth interupted. "How do wewe know all this?"
"I... I erm.. I just do. I'm clever like that. I like messing around."
Silence.
"Okay.." Humphrey said.
The rest of the meeting was spent talking about how Chris's inventions could help hunts and things like that. Eventually, the meeting was dismissed kwa Kate when Humphrey tried to talk about keki again. Chris began his descent down the hill, trying to get the feeling back into his bottom. He'd been sitting for ages.
"Hey, Chris!"
Chris turned. Kate.. and Humphrey. "Yes?"
"Tell your Marafiki that we're coming for Dinner!"
"Will do!"
He got back to the pango to find it deserted and found a note in his hammock.
Dear Chriz,
Gon 2 forezt 2 go lgbording. Bck in 15 minitz.
Rm.
Chris threw the note over his shoulder. ROMbot couldn't write his way out of a paper bag. He walked across the room and placed his collander thing on the table, accedentally knocking a plate off it. It hit the floor hard but did not break. "Unbreakable," Chris assumed, smashing it against the desk. It broke into peices. After Chris had washed the blood off his hands, he threw the peices into darren.
"Hey." Darren said. "That's no chakula for a guy like me."
"It's all i've got that you'll eat." Chris retorted.
"Who do wewe think wewe are, anyway, coming in here and smashing up the chinaware."
"Animals don't HAVE chinaware, Darren!"
"You don't like me, do you?"
Chris picked up a magazine off the floor. "What's this? QWERTY?"
Darren's one eye focused on the magazine. "Yeah. Just some zaidi of the crap ROMbot reads."
Chris rifled through it. "I'm afraid I have to agree with wewe there." He alisema eventually. "The only thing these are good for is wiping your bottom with." Just then, Shakey, Saltey, Mooch and ROMbot returned from their trip.
"Hey, Chris." Mooch said. "Did wewe get ROM's note?"
"Unfortunately. Did wewe get lunch?"
"Yeah. zaidi steak."
ROMbot pushed to the front. "What are wewe doing with that, Chris?" He was pointing at the magazine.
"Oh, just looking."
"You were going to bin it, weren't you?"
"Absolotely not. QWERTY is one of my inayopendelewa magazines! It's soft, absorbant and disposable."
ROMbot snatched it away. "Whatever." He said.
"So." Shakey said. "How did the meeting go?"
"Fine. zaidi than fine. Kate and Humphrey are coming for Dinner."
Mooch jumped as if struck. "What?"
There are two kinds of what. First there is the what where you're asking what a person has alisema because wewe didn't hear them the first time. Secondly there is the kind of what when wewe heard the person perfectly but don't beleave them. This was the what Mooch was using. Once they'd tempted him off the ledge with Saltey's steak, they began to set up.
"You know, I don't think Mooch is being very fair on Kate." Shakey said, as they washed the plates in the river.
"You took your time." Chris responded.
"What?"
"Nothing. I think he just got out of kitanda on the wrong side this morning."
"But he sleeps inayofuata to the window."
"Exactly."
Shakey shook his head. "If he isn't careful, he's going to get into trouble."
"I know. The thing is, trouble is a magnetized to all of us. First what happened to you, now this."
Shakey didn't respond.
"Shakey?"
"Chris, what's... what's that?"
The note had slipped out of Chris's tool ukanda while he was washing. "Nothing. Just somthing I found down here a while back. That's all."
He hurridely put it back, glad that Mbwa mwitu loups couldn't read.
"Right." Saltey said. "I think that's everything. Remember, be casual. We don't want to upset Kate."
"Easier alisema than done." Mooch said.
"What was that, mooch?" a voice said.
Kate and Humphrey had arrived. Kate had a maua, ua in her hair. She looked around and was surprised.
"You cleaned up." She said.
"Yeah." Mooch said. "Is it strange?"
"No, of course not." Kate alisema hurridly.
"Can we sit down?" Humphrey asked.
"Go ahead. I moved the hammocks around the meza, jedwali so we're zaidi comfortable when we're eating."
Humphrey sat down and began talking to Mooch and Shakey about somthing. Chris had cooked the meat over a fire, and it was delicious. Pity the ketchup had until recently been spread across the floor. "So." alisema shakey, trying to make conversation with kate. "Anything interesting going on up there?"
"Apart from what happened with you, no."
Shakey leaned forward. "Really?"
"Really, Shakey."
Shakey looked around with a dissapointed look on his face and noticed Chris was trying very hard not to laugh. Chris leaned over. "You'll have to try harder than that." he alisema quietly.
Shakey was silent for a second. "Who told you?"
"I figured it out. Any news about jasmine? Has she recovered?"
"Yeah. She's quitting vegetarianisim now, too. Says it can still be insane blah blah blah blah."
He didn't actually say "Blah blah blah blah". Chris had just stopped listening. He had better things to do that listen to gossip.
Kate had finished her Steak. "Guys." She alisema suddenly. "We have somthing to tell you."
Everyone was suddenly silent. Chris gave her a confused look. "I was at my parent's today. Mum noticed I was putting weight on, and asked me if she could examine me. Guess what she found."
"Yes?" Chris said.
"I'm pregnant!"
The inayofuata couple of dakika were spent congratulating Kate and Humphrey. "What are wewe going to call him?" Chris asked Humphrey.
"Her." Humphrey corrected. "Eve says there's probably a higher chance it's a girl."
"Her, then."
"I don't know. How about... Holly?"
"Nah." Kate said. "Doesn't seem very creative. We'll think about it closer to the time." He and Kate began to songesha towards the exit. "We'd better get going. Don't be telling everyone."
"Okay. Congratulations then. See wewe later."
"Bye, Chris." Humphrey said. "And thanks for the double bed!"
"Hammock." Chris corrected. "And you're welcome."
"One last thing, Chris." Kate said. "You owe me a vase."
They all laughed.
Chris had spent the afternoon installing a tap for Lilly and Garth. He now sat testing his new invention in the deserted pango that was used for meetings. There was nobody else in the room. He put his new invention, a collander with earmuffs and goggles attached to it, on his head and turned it on. Immediately he felt ill. The mind wasn't used to this. He saw a vase on the other side of the room, and slowly reached out, miming picking it up. The vase slowly rose.
"Oh my god." a voice said.
Chris dropped the vase in shock. It shattered on the floor. He spun round.
It was Humphrey.
"Sorry." Chris said.
"How were you-?"
Chris grinned. "It's a physical manupulation... thing."
"You mean wewe can songesha objects with your mind when you're wearing it?"
"Yes."
"I want a go."
Chris handed over the collander. Humphrey picked up the nearest thing: a bone.
"Wow."
Kate came in.
"Why do wewe have a collander on your head, dear?"
Humphrey turned round. "I thought we agreed we wouldn't call each other that?"
"Sorry." She sat down.
"Where am I?" Humphrey asked.
"Jasper park canada-"
"No, I mean where do I sit?"
"Next to me, obviously." Kate said.
Humphrey took his seat. Kate nodded towards one of the seats down the side of the stone table, then gestured for chris to sit in it. He did so.
"Where are lilly and garth? They're late."
"They're always late. Too busy reminding the alphas to come to come themselves."
"They'll be here soon." Chris said. "Hobnob?"
Humphrey frowned. "No, I have a normal one like everyone else."
"They're biscuits." Chris told him.
"Ah. No thanks, then. I prefer cupcakes."
"No, wewe don't." Kate alisema quietly, jabbing him in the ribs. "You eat meat."
Alphas began to slowly file into the room, usualy in pairs. Lilly turned up.
"Lilly." Kate said. "Where's garth?"
"He needed to do somthing." Lilly said. "He alisema to start without him."
"He can say what he wants." Kate said. "We won't get anywhere without him."
Eventually, Garth turned up. "Hobnob, garth?"
"None of your business."
"A hobnob is a biscuit." Chris held one up.
"Oh. I'll have one, then. Have we started?"
"We have now." Kate said, pushing Garth firmly into his seat.
The following conversation was about bila mpangilio things that half the room didn't even care about, like hunting startergies, tweaks to the ration system, deepening of the pits so they couldn't be jumped out of kwa the zaidi agile alphas,(Humphrey brought that one up) and cupcakes. Eventually, Kate got around to introducing Chris, who showed them all the Physical Manipulator, as well as how to start a moto and how to cook meat so that it tasted better. "Chris." Garth interupted. "How do wewe know all this?"
"I... I erm.. I just do. I'm clever like that. I like messing around."
Silence.
"Okay.." Humphrey said.
The rest of the meeting was spent talking about how Chris's inventions could help hunts and things like that. Eventually, the meeting was dismissed kwa Kate when Humphrey tried to talk about keki again. Chris began his descent down the hill, trying to get the feeling back into his bottom. He'd been sitting for ages.
"Hey, Chris!"
Chris turned. Kate.. and Humphrey. "Yes?"
"Tell your Marafiki that we're coming for Dinner!"
"Will do!"
He got back to the pango to find it deserted and found a note in his hammock.
Dear Chriz,
Gon 2 forezt 2 go lgbording. Bck in 15 minitz.
Rm.
Chris threw the note over his shoulder. ROMbot couldn't write his way out of a paper bag. He walked across the room and placed his collander thing on the table, accedentally knocking a plate off it. It hit the floor hard but did not break. "Unbreakable," Chris assumed, smashing it against the desk. It broke into peices. After Chris had washed the blood off his hands, he threw the peices into darren.
"Hey." Darren said. "That's no chakula for a guy like me."
"It's all i've got that you'll eat." Chris retorted.
"Who do wewe think wewe are, anyway, coming in here and smashing up the chinaware."
"Animals don't HAVE chinaware, Darren!"
"You don't like me, do you?"
Chris picked up a magazine off the floor. "What's this? QWERTY?"
Darren's one eye focused on the magazine. "Yeah. Just some zaidi of the crap ROMbot reads."
Chris rifled through it. "I'm afraid I have to agree with wewe there." He alisema eventually. "The only thing these are good for is wiping your bottom with." Just then, Shakey, Saltey, Mooch and ROMbot returned from their trip.
"Hey, Chris." Mooch said. "Did wewe get ROM's note?"
"Unfortunately. Did wewe get lunch?"
"Yeah. zaidi steak."
ROMbot pushed to the front. "What are wewe doing with that, Chris?" He was pointing at the magazine.
"Oh, just looking."
"You were going to bin it, weren't you?"
"Absolotely not. QWERTY is one of my inayopendelewa magazines! It's soft, absorbant and disposable."
ROMbot snatched it away. "Whatever." He said.
"So." Shakey said. "How did the meeting go?"
"Fine. zaidi than fine. Kate and Humphrey are coming for Dinner."
Mooch jumped as if struck. "What?"
There are two kinds of what. First there is the what where you're asking what a person has alisema because wewe didn't hear them the first time. Secondly there is the kind of what when wewe heard the person perfectly but don't beleave them. This was the what Mooch was using. Once they'd tempted him off the ledge with Saltey's steak, they began to set up.
"You know, I don't think Mooch is being very fair on Kate." Shakey said, as they washed the plates in the river.
"You took your time." Chris responded.
"What?"
"Nothing. I think he just got out of kitanda on the wrong side this morning."
"But he sleeps inayofuata to the window."
"Exactly."
Shakey shook his head. "If he isn't careful, he's going to get into trouble."
"I know. The thing is, trouble is a magnetized to all of us. First what happened to you, now this."
Shakey didn't respond.
"Shakey?"
"Chris, what's... what's that?"
The note had slipped out of Chris's tool ukanda while he was washing. "Nothing. Just somthing I found down here a while back. That's all."
He hurridely put it back, glad that Mbwa mwitu loups couldn't read.
"Right." Saltey said. "I think that's everything. Remember, be casual. We don't want to upset Kate."
"Easier alisema than done." Mooch said.
"What was that, mooch?" a voice said.
Kate and Humphrey had arrived. Kate had a maua, ua in her hair. She looked around and was surprised.
"You cleaned up." She said.
"Yeah." Mooch said. "Is it strange?"
"No, of course not." Kate alisema hurridly.
"Can we sit down?" Humphrey asked.
"Go ahead. I moved the hammocks around the meza, jedwali so we're zaidi comfortable when we're eating."
Humphrey sat down and began talking to Mooch and Shakey about somthing. Chris had cooked the meat over a fire, and it was delicious. Pity the ketchup had until recently been spread across the floor. "So." alisema shakey, trying to make conversation with kate. "Anything interesting going on up there?"
"Apart from what happened with you, no."
Shakey leaned forward. "Really?"
"Really, Shakey."
Shakey looked around with a dissapointed look on his face and noticed Chris was trying very hard not to laugh. Chris leaned over. "You'll have to try harder than that." he alisema quietly.
Shakey was silent for a second. "Who told you?"
"I figured it out. Any news about jasmine? Has she recovered?"
"Yeah. She's quitting vegetarianisim now, too. Says it can still be insane blah blah blah blah."
He didn't actually say "Blah blah blah blah". Chris had just stopped listening. He had better things to do that listen to gossip.
Kate had finished her Steak. "Guys." She alisema suddenly. "We have somthing to tell you."
Everyone was suddenly silent. Chris gave her a confused look. "I was at my parent's today. Mum noticed I was putting weight on, and asked me if she could examine me. Guess what she found."
"Yes?" Chris said.
"I'm pregnant!"
The inayofuata couple of dakika were spent congratulating Kate and Humphrey. "What are wewe going to call him?" Chris asked Humphrey.
"Her." Humphrey corrected. "Eve says there's probably a higher chance it's a girl."
"Her, then."
"I don't know. How about... Holly?"
"Nah." Kate said. "Doesn't seem very creative. We'll think about it closer to the time." He and Kate began to songesha towards the exit. "We'd better get going. Don't be telling everyone."
"Okay. Congratulations then. See wewe later."
"Bye, Chris." Humphrey said. "And thanks for the double bed!"
"Hammock." Chris corrected. "And you're welcome."
"One last thing, Chris." Kate said. "You owe me a vase."
They all laughed.
