Little things about me...


I've been uandishi a story at school, this girl has been kusoma it.

She wonders where I got the idea from, I tell her it's just fiction,

I can't bring myself to tell her thats it's really how I view the world since everyone thinks I'm the super happy smiling girl.

No one knows my world is dark.


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This week we had an anti-bullying activity at school

We have to kuvuka, msalaba a line when something applies to you.

"Please kuvuka, msalaba the line if wewe feel lonely."

No one in my class did, but I know one person who almost did.

Until she saw nobody else did.

I should have crossed that line.

~~~


I say goodbye to someone everyday before I leave school..

I would hate to go out of this world without saying goodbye..

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Art is my passion my thing.

My mom says I'm to smart to take it further then past high school, it's not important enough.

At school I'm known for being amazing at art.

My art teachers upendo me and want me to keep going..

Why can't my family want that?
I just want to draw...

~~

The other siku in class we had to write a depression essay in class.

I wrote the essay but the last few lines I wrote about my depression and everything I've went through.

But before I pasted it in I but the last lines in white and pasted it in I couldn't erase it...

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Why did I stop taking pills? Why do I not want to?

Because for once I believe in myself

I'm going to onyesha how strong I am

I'm going to get through this on my own.

Just watch

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I've met almost all my Marafiki on this website.

I know it's dangerous and I'm taking a risk.

I know what I'm doing and I'm careful.

Mom Dad, I help guys and girls online with there problems and stop them from killing them selfs.

Stop assuming I'm a slut. Not all teenage girls look for sex.

~~

"Some day, I want to be a model. These scars on my arms will not hold me back."

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Yes, life is getting better.

Yes, I'm eating again.

Yes, I've slowly stopped crying myself to sleep.

But, no. I'm still unhappy and dying on the inside.

~~~


Dear Mom..

On the outside wewe see me as your happy and smiling daughter who’s turning 14 this Sunday and wewe would do anything for me…But what wewe don’t know it..

I’m really truly sad…

I’m faking that smile and I really do want to be happy but right now that seems impossible..I don;t want to die but want else is there to do…I hate being this way and I feel there’s no way out..I want to tell wewe but like I always say..We all have stories we don’t and will never tell…and this is one of them…

upendo your daughter…Mallory McDonald



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Dear Dad…

I know you’ve wanted to be there for me and I know that wewe wanted to see me…But it’s been seven years now and…Seeing and just hearing your voice would be to much.. Yes I upendo wewe I always will and nothing can take that away but, Mom kept me away from wewe for a reason and she won’t tell me why and I believe and trust in her so would wewe please stop calling are phone…It’s my birthday this Sunday and I wish wewe could be here but..Where were wewe for the last seven…Oh yeah I wasn’t important then I guess…I upendo wewe I really do but your pain of leaving messed me up and I really don;t want to get messed up even more. I feel like everyone I upendo always leaves because of you…And I don’t wish to feel like that again..

upendo your daughter..Mallory McDonald