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Can anybody help me with social skills? I need it BAD.

My name is Matt. I am 14 years old, and in 8th grade. I have always had problems with being social, and about a mwaka ago, I found out why. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome in the 2nd grade, but for whatever reason, my parents never bothered to tell me. I guess they didn't think it was a big deal. I found out one siku on the weekend, when I found a book about Aspergers which belonged to them. I asked them about it, and they told me that I had been diagnosed. Ever since then, my social skills have gone down lower and lower and lower. And it's REALLY not easy being an aspie when wewe are in junior high, with all these jerks running around with their cool clothes and trends and phrases that I CANNOT pick up on! Everyone thinks they can just feed off of me like a school of piranhas, because I don't have a single freaking clue about what I should say to them! And to make things worse, my only friend, who had learned to accept me for who I was, is no longer at my school, and is not coming back. Nobody understands me. Not even my parents. They try, but they just don't get it. I also have a really big problem with focusing on the positive side of life, and my parents and teachers are always getting mad at me for being too negative. And I am starting to think that I may have A.D.D as well, because I CANNOT pay attention in class. It is almost impossible. But right now, I am trying to improve my social skills, because it seems zaidi important to me than the academic part(being a teen and all), and they cannot get any worse if I want any chance at all of surviving 4 zaidi years of school. From being on fanpop for a while, I have found that there are many people who share the same problems as me. If anyone can give me tips on being social, I would appreciate it a LOT, because my skills have hit rock bottom, and I don't think I can take much more.

Thank wewe for listening.
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Well everyone has some sort of problem. Socializing is a problem for wewe while I have a problem with my temper. Everyone has some sort of problem it's just some people don't know what is it.
TheSpartan9000 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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Thanks to everyone who has aliyopewa me suggestions. It really means a lot to me.
swampfox31 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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I'm here for wewe and try starting a conversation whit some one whit a subject wewe know :) <3
ZWEBB22 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
 swampfox31 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
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TheSpartan9000 said:
Well... Why not talk to people here on Fanpop? It can really improve your social skills. And if wewe never think positive, wewe would never get anything positive.
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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Thank you, I will try doing that. But with the positive thoughts, I know I need to do it, but figuring out HOW to do it is the problem for me.
swampfox31 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
prophet69 said:
As far as developing your communication and social skills are concerned, itis often a matter of finding common ground with someone. If wewe are fearing judgment, censorship, au being ostracized, it will be hard to find common ground with people. wewe feel less intimidated when wewe have a common interest that draws wewe close to each other.
Here are some suggestions on how to find common ground with others:
1. Learn to be a good listener. Make sure your body language reflects that wewe are listening. Many people are just looking for someone they can talk to. If they feel that they can talk to you, then they will be much zaidi inclined to listen to you.
2. Learn to ask good questions. People who know how to ask the right swali at the right time do very well in socializing with others. Sometimes it is not what wewe say, but what wewe ask that endears people to you. The right swali will help wewe find common ground and tell the person wewe are talking to that wewe are interested.
3. Learn to laugh at yourself. If wewe walk around self-conscious, people will be zaidi paranoid around you. But if wewe can laugh at yourself, then others will feel zaidi comfortable around wewe too. The first step in feeling easy around others is to first feel easy around yourself.
4. Be hard to offend. If wewe have a chip on your shoulder, people won't want to be around you. Don't look for the bad in others--you'll always find it. Much of it will be misunderstood and will only create zaidi fear in your further interactions.
There are many zaidi things wewe can do. Helpful source: link
People have a hard time opening up because of some fear. Perhaps it is a fear of rejection, of being made fun of, of feeling like the odd man out, au just not feeling like wewe can really relate to their life, struggles, concerns, and care. If this is you, it is important to isolate what this fear really is and why wewe have it.Overcoming that fear au at least controlling it is the inayofuata step to feeling comfortable talking to others.
Anyway, I hope this helps!
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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This helps a lot. Thank you.
swampfox31 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
Bond_Of_Fury said:
Autism, huh? *shakes hand* Hi there.

I have a form of autism to (not asperger though, mind you) and I can identify my younger self in wewe a bit.

What I would recommend to wewe is to jiunge a sports club for teamsports such as mpira wa wavu au soccer. If I have found anything that helped me socialize with others, it is kwa working together to be the best at what we do, and having a great time while we do it. You're working together, and you're all part of something. Working together like that, and having such a good time makes it easy to get along with each other well, it's like it happens spontaneously. Good luck.
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posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita 
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Thanks, I will keep that in mind.
swampfox31 posted zaidi ya mwaka mmoja uliopita
wHateVer9974 said:
If it makes wewe feel better my social skills are really bad too and I don't have any syndrome.You should start participating zaidi in events your school organizes. You'll start meeting people and maybe wewe can be Marafiki with some of them. Also wewe can ask your parents to talk to your teachers so as to help wewe meet people too.
I hope I helped you.
I'd like to tell me what happened once wewe try these:)
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