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Hello, everyone. And, I give wewe the last of my rants, for now at least. But, for now, lets go over the third rant of things that bug me in this world.

kitanda Bugs - Yet another one of God’s mistakes. Though, unlike birds, these fucking things just don’t know when to fuck off. These things have no purpose to exist other than to suck your blood and invade your home. It’s as if they’re a bunch of aliens from outer space stealing your blood to use for testing… but, that’s a little too much. But, seriously, they come into your house, drink your blood, and leave the ugliest set of marks on your body. It’s sickening. And, if that’s not bad enough, they literally shit wherever they please. Ever see those little black dots on pictures of kitanda bugs. That’s dried kitanda bug shit. I’m not joking. But, worst of all, they don’t die. wewe can try again and again and again, they just refuse to die. Even exterminators can’t kill them completely. So, once wewe get them, wewe might as well burn the house down, au you’re fucked.

pickle Jar Lids - What is it with chakula and being so fucking hard to open? pickle jars have to be the worst of them all. No matter how hard wewe try to twist, the bastard refuse to open. wewe can twist and turn the lid until the fucking cows come home, wewe will never open this lid, unless wewe get something hard and slam it against the edges of the lid. But, why do I have to do that? Why does opening this jar have to be a fucking chore.

Dishes - These fucking things, no matter how hard wewe try, always find a way to get filthy. No matter what, dishes get dirty. And, there is no avoiding it. They get dirty so easily. wewe can’t even keep them clean for an hour, let alone a whole goddamn day. And if that didn’t suck hard enough, cleaning them is a real fucking pain. wewe always get these stains that just stick on there and won’t come off until your arm gives out from scrubbing it too hard. Oh, and don’t wewe upendo it when your asshole relative leaves scraps of chakula on the plate, making cleaning these things a fucking nightmare?

Radio muziki - Now, this is why I listen to muziki on my Ipod. muziki on the radio is really crap nowadays. All I can hear a bunch of crappy celebrity news on it. Why the hell do I care. I just want to hear music. I fucking hate watu mashuhuri and their picture fucking perfect lives. Plus, most of the muziki that I hear are crappy pop music. Like I really want to hear songs like this. They are all bland, no matter what. Oh, and the talk shows. Fuck them. They are filled with some of the most immature jokes that not even high school dropouts would laugh at. Honestly, its no wonder apple is making money off the Ipod. Because people don’t want to hear muziki on the radio.

Post Offices - Now, these places are truly hell… and so are DMV’s… And Grocery Stores… and Airports. Post Offices are filled with some of the most rude employees alive. Every time wewe go there, wewe are met with some douchebag who just loves to ignore every swali wewe give them. They always ignore you, no matter what wewe do. Oh, and, some advice. Bring a pen. Because, if wewe don’t, you’ll regret it. This is because of the fucking lines to use the only pen in the post office. Every time wewe wait, the guy in front of wewe is uandishi a fucking novel for some reason, and, when its finally your turn, guess what. The fucking pen is out of ink. So, yeah, why the fuck would wewe ever need the post office for. Isn’t that what the internet was made for… and cell phones. Because handwritten letters are dying out?

Traffic - Okay, who here likes traffic? No one? Well, thats because no one wants them. These fucking things always seem to happen at the worst possible times. No matter what wewe are doing, wewe always get stuck in a traffic jam. wewe will be waiting for God knows how long (Oh, and you’re stuck with Radio. Fan-fucking-tastic), and people seem to enjoy cutting ahead of you. Example, after a car in front of wewe finally move, some asshole inayofuata to wewe cuts right in front of you, forcing wewe to stay in the same fucking spot. No one likes that, and no one likes fucking traffic jams.

Restaurant Employees - Now, wewe thought post office workers were rude? They are nothing like restaurant employees. These people always seem to ignore wewe and try to act as rude as possible, kwa having an awfully rude tone in their voice. Oh, and, they always seem to fuck up your order. Once, I asked for a hamburger. So, I get it, and, guess what. I got nothing. I got bun slices, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes… but, where was the meat… they forgot the meat. The restaurant forget the fucking meat in their hamburger. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT! This is why I eat at home.

krisimasi Aftermath - Now, this comes usually after krisimasi is over. All wewe get is a feeling of sadness, because wewe wanted zaidi stuff. Though, that’s not the problem. No, the real problem is dealing with all the crap that is a real pain in the ass. So, wewe may buy your kids toys that need batteries. Better go out and blow money on a shitload of batteries. Oh, and all the wrapping paper and boxes ripped open and left on the floor. Good luck cleaning all that shit up. Oh, and wewe got to upendo taking the decorations down. It was a pain in the punda to get set up, and now wewe got to take it down afterward. Yeah, krisimasi is not as wonderful as they say in the songs. At least, the aftermath isn’t.

Chewing Gum - Now, this invention is a fucking waste of money. wewe can’t kumeza it, au eat it, so why stick it in your mouth. And, people who use it seem to be assholes. They are always chewing their gum so loudly that it makes wewe want to ngumi, punch a fucking hole in the wall. And making bubbles with it just adds to the annoyance. Oh, but, what is a real annoying is that people don’t even bother to spit the gum into the garbage. No, they were being assholes while chewing it, so why stop there. The stick the gum onto everything. Chairs, tables, and, worst of all, the floor. If wewe step on chewed gum, get ready to fucking lose it. It is a real bitch, kahaba to scrap off and wewe just want to ngumi, punch the asshole who put it there. Kinda hard when everyone chews that chemical filled shit.

Football Season - Now, people may like football, I am not one of those people to be honest, but, wewe know what I don’t like? When people got to act like fucking wild wanyama over it. Seriously, if your dad is a football shabiki (Like mine) and he brings his Marafiki over every season (Like mine does) Then get ready to see stupid shit done kwa grown men. Not only do they crowd up the living room watching a batshit crazy sport, but they just scream like psychopaths, all because a guy threw a ball at a patch of grass. Woo-fucking-hoo. Big deal. I really don’t see why people act this crazy. Is it some sort of mind control au something… au am I just being paranoid again?

Well, there it is. I may not do another one of these for a while, but, I may if wewe guys can tell me zaidi things annoying in life. But, yeah, these things here, just really piss me off. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.
 Art kwa AquaMarine
Art by AquaMarine
Another Rob Zombie movie I have watched, and another one that people are mixed about. I’ve alisema before that I known Zombie zaidi for his sinema rather than his music, and this is one of the sinema I remember my brother telling me he loved. I didn’t know what I’d think of it. I do remember some people finding it too disgusting for them. Then again, I did have a soft spot for some of Zombie’s other movies, like El Superbeasto, so maybe this could be one of his shining gems… au it could turn out like his Halloween movie, and we all know that’s not good. Anyway, today, we are going to...
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 Art kwa SeantheHedgehog
Art by SeantheHedgehog
Well, let’s start off the first movie to review for the Halloween season. I’m just gonna pick up one at bila mpangilio and see what I get first. It can range from being a really good movie, to a really… REALLY horrible one. I just hope that I can do this all without burning out kwa the end of the month. So, let us take a look at our first movie. That being the very classic slasher film kwa horror movie legend, Wes Craven. That movie is none other than Scream… Nah, just kidding. It’s Nightmare on Elm Street.



Oh man, has it been such a long time. Nightmare on Elm mitaani, mtaa follows the small...
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100: Repo! The Genetic Opera



99: The Room
98: Monsters, Inc.
97: Cloverfield
96: Adventures of Tintin
95: Hobo with a Shotgun
94: Watchmen
93: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
92: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
91: Caroline
90: Army of Darkness



89: Kick-Ass
88: Despicable Me
87: Zombieland
86: Land of the Dead
85: Goldeneye
84: District 9
83: Monster House
82: Tropic Thunder
81: King Kong
80: American Psycho



79: Dawn of the Dead
78: The Thing
77: Beauty and the Beast
76: The Road to El Dorado
75: Inglorious Bastards
74: Cast Away
73: The Incredibles
72: The Corpse Bride
71: Lemony Snicket’s Series of...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
~Story~

The story follows Benedict, a young aged man who is sent to Purgatory, which looks like a simple 1960’s town, but with dead souls who resemble the deaths they faced. Benedict is soon met with Death, a simple entrepreneur who is unable to find out anything about Benedict, and can not find out if he is meant to go to Heaven au Hell. However, Death asks Benedict to try and do some good in Purgatory. However, the downside is, unlike earth, Purgatory is not at all safe, as people could be plucked out of it immediately kwa either an Angel au a demon, and that it is also nyumbani to the Seven...
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Now, I was always a gamer. Even when I was 7. However, I wasn’t as brave while playing games as I am now when I was 7. So, wewe can imagine that their were a lot of terrifying things. So, I am going to tell wewe all the things in games that scared me as a kid. Now, these are all going to be games I played when I was only 7. So, I am not going to put any of the horror games on this list. Also, no Giygas, au Mimi, because those would be too obvious. Sorry. And with all that said, lets start the list

 Boulders
Boulders


#10: Boulders from Crash Bandicoot - Yes, that’s right, I was such a wuss back...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Chuck: (Sitting in room, with TV on)
Anchorman: And, in a turn of events, some serious shit went down in Fortune City. And I mean SHIT! Like "Holy crap, dozens of people are dying and no one is doing a damn thing" kind of shit. We will go to our field reporter, Rebecca Chan, who has zaidi on this crazy shit.
Rebecca: It is revealed that the zombies were released kwa someone, as an act of terrorism. The following video shows a man who we can not see his face at all, but, for story reasons, we will just assume its Chuck Greene.
Chuck: Oh, they alisema my name again. Man, I am real maarufu today.
Rebecca:...
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Now, I have played lots of horror games on the internet. There was Slender: The Arrival with its jump scares and Corpse Party with its psychological horror. But there is a game that mixes both of these together. That game is Five Nights at Freddy's.
Now, this game, is horrifying. And for once, in a good way. It has a lot of good backstory, and the plot is neat, and the actual gameplay is well done. But what really amazed me was the horror of the game. It has both jump scares and psychological horror. I won't talk about the jump scares much, but zaidi of the psychological horror, as the animatronics...
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Okay... This fanfic is so bad and so poorly written... That its just funny. The fanfic I am talking about, is Half Life: Full Life Consequences.
Believe of au not.... Okay, no one, not even myself, believes this, but Gordon Freeman actually has relatives. He has a dad named Henry and a brother named John. This shabiki fiction is all about how Henry saved a city with his son. Sounds promising, so how could they fuck it up... Well, how about some of the worst spelling and grammar in the entire world. I swear, its as if this fanfiction was written kwa a first grader. In fact, I should just onyesha you...
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posted by Windwakerguy430


It doesn’t take a lot to get my interest in some games. One of the most likely things that can sell me on a game is how good the art is. And it’s real damn good to see a game that has been carefully drawn, picture kwa picture, all to get down the perfect animation. And no game has ever gotten that style of hand drawn uhuishaji for each character like the classic Skullgirls.
Skullgirls is one of my inayopendelewa fighting games out there simply for hte style, but I like it for other reasons too, of course. Skullgirls takes place in a sort of 1930s esque city, where a fabled McGuffin known...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
~Part 1: Blue Moon~

(A silent night, snow falling from the sky, as a man walked down an alleyway. There was no sound. Nothing but the noises of someone running and panting, almost screaming. The running stopped, but the screaming was only zaidi frequent, as the mysterious man at the end of the alley walked into the frame, blocking path. In his hand, a tommy gun, with a drum at the side, held in his right hand, before lifting it into both hands. The figure screamed and panicked, trying to find an escape, but to no avail. It was only when the gun was fired did any light shine on the figure. A dirty,...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Narrator: Are wewe looking for a dark, edgy, and serious anime. Well than get the hell out of here, because Death Note: The Re-Bridged is not for you. This time, we got zaidi suspense.
L: Should I add one sugar cube, au two…. oh, fuck it. I’ll use all of it
Narrator: We’ve got zaidi action
Security Guard: Hey, a bus… The wheels on the bus go ‘round and ‘round-
(Bus crashes into a building)
Narrator: And we got a motherfucking AFRO
Aizawa: ……. I don’t even know how to respond to that?
Narrator: Watch as Light eats all your fucking potato chips! Don’t miss it, au you’re punda is going down in the Death Note. Watch Light eat your fucking mother
link
Narrator: Oh, shit. Wrong show… Uh… Here’s Matsuda
Matsuda: Hey, I’m Ma-
Narrator: FUCK OFF, MATSUDA! Death Note: The Re-Bridged! Watch it! au don’t! Fuck you! Rated PG.
Best of SATEN TWIST: (Heroic Hothead/Reformed drunk/AppleJack's husband)

AJ: (shortly after kissing him on the lips) There's somethin' ah've been meaning ta tell ya.
Saten: *gasps* Oh god. Your breaking up with me.
AJ: What?
Saten: W Why would wewe kiss me, and then break up with me.. That is so crue-
AJ: *puts her hooves on him softly* Honey. Relax. Ah'm not breaking up with ya,
Saten: (nervously) Oh.. Right, I I knew that.. (takes a large sip from the bia still on the lamp meza, jedwali inayofuata to we're their sitting)

AJ: (nuzzling Saten lovingly)
Saten: Huh.. That's so adorable, your like a cat. Only cuter....
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Nate: (In car with Chris)
Chris: Are wewe sure its a zombie outbreak
Nate: Chris, take a look outside (Points at person getting eaten kwa zombie) How do wewe explain that
Chris: Well, this is New York. Lots of crazy crap happens. Maybe he's a drug pusher
Nate: CHRIS
Chris: Okay, okay, so it is a zombie outbreak. But, how am I supposed to deal with that. Zombie's are not normal
Nate: Oh, they are now
Chris: Where are we going anyway
Nate: Well, first, we need to get Emma
Chris: wewe mean that annoying bitch, kahaba with her breasts being the only thing good about her
Nate: Chris, just shut up before I kick wewe out...
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When I alisema I was going to review No zaidi Heroes 2, I meant it. When I discussed the awali game, I did mention that I may au may not review it. I alisema that because, wow, I have to pay double the price of the original game for NMH2. But, in the end, I did it anyway. Because I’m a sad person. But, regardless, here it is. This is a game no one expected would be made. No zaidi Heroes seemed like such a niche game that was fun, but nothing to warrant a sequel. But, low and behold, here it is: No zaidi Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle.



~Story~

Now, wewe all know that I upendo the first No zaidi Heroes...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Hello, everyone. And welcome to Hidden Gems, where we take a look at games that have fallen into obscurity that no one has heard of, and see if those games deserved to be forgotten of it they should be zaidi well known. And for the first episode of Hidden Gems, I want to talk about one of the best and most beloved obscure games out there. We all known Ubisoft for making games such as Assassin’s Creed, Far Cry, and a bunch of very buggy and untested games. But when less maarufu games, they seem to be less buggy and zaidi fun, such as games like No zaidi Heroes, Red Steel, and today’s game,...
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 Art kwa Alinah_09
Art by Alinah_09
When I was taking Topical Literature classes back in my junior mwaka of high school, we had this assignment where we had to watch a neo noir film and write down what we can find about the characters and the settings that give it that feeling. There was one movie I chose out of all of the. Mainly due to the fact that I have had a long history of enjoying this movie very much, for it’s dark setting, and it’s disturbingly creative villain… Not sure why I brought up my school assignments into this, but anyway, let’s talk about Silence of the Lambs… Oh, that’s why I talked about it. Because...
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I like to think of myself as a pioneer when it comes to gaming, going beyond the boundaries to try and discover what lies behind them. It could be something amazing, au could be something completely strange. Lost games are something that fascinates me. Lost games are games that are completely gone within just a few days. They come into our lives, stay for a bit, and disappear without a trace. I like to imagine Lost games as being different from cancelled games, because then I’d be thinking of Silent Hills and how bastardized of a company Konami is. But, anyway, this orodha is all about games...
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Now, there are a lot of enemies in video games. And I means a LOT! However, there are also the ones that are… terrifying. Now, before I start, some rules. These are only games that I played and only one per franchise. Also, I AM including enemies from horror games, as long as they are scary. Also, they need to have originated from video games, so that means that Slender Man, SCPs, and the Aliens from the Alien games are all out. Now, lets start the list.

 Big Sister
Big Sister


#20: Big Sisters from Bioshock 2 - Now, these enemies aren’t all that scary themselves. Its zaidi of the backstory of them...
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-Chapter 1: An Unforgettable Luncheon

Ring ring.
The doorbell rang. Superintendent Chalmers stood outside, champagne in hand, as he waited patiently. Seymour opened the door, greeted kwa his employer, who greeted him with a monotone voice
“Well, Seymour, I made it”, Superintendent Chalmers said, “Despite your directions”
“Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome!” Seymour exclaimed with a smile. “I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable luncheon”
“Eh”, Chalmers exclaimed in a rather bored tone. He invited himself in, taking a kiti, kiti cha at the table, placing the champagne into the...
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posted by Windwakerguy430


So, Final ndoto VI was a good RPG on the SNES. I hear a lot of people say that it is the best. But that can’t be true. Undertale was based on Earthbound, not Final ndoto VI, so how can it possibly be the best when the best game ever wasn’t inspired kwa it. Okay, but seriously, this joke is terrible. Here’s Chrono Trigger.
Chrono Trigger takes place in the modern day… of 1999, following Crono, a bright eyed little Akira Toriyama drawn boy who, along with his friends, are send through an adventure across time to stop a space parasite known as Lavos from destroying the world in...
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