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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Meanwhile, on the train

Bartholomew: *sees passenger*
Passenger: *looking at map of Equestria* Hey, dude. Do wewe know how long it would take to get from Germany to my place if I was driving?
Barthololmew: (Not this again.) Perhaps wewe should try looking at an actual world map instead of that peice of trash l:(
Passenger: Who asked you? Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll use my smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get there, and how long it will take.
Bartholomew: I hate my life *jumps out train*
Passenger: *looks up directions* What's his problem? *continues looking* WHHHATTT?!?!
Passenger 2: Be quiet! We're watching the scenery!
Passenger: I gotta swim across the atlantic ocean!! Fuck your scenery!
Passenger 2: *looks at smartphone* Now I see why the conductor jumped out of the train. *jumps out of train*

Meawhile, near the tracks

Bartholomew: *sees passenger land on hooves* Are wewe alright?
Passenger 2: Yeah. I just saw somepony using a smartphone!!
Bartholomew: We can't use those in 1951. Yet he, and another worker on this railroad I know did it!
Passenger 2: Do wewe suppose they were looking up the same thing?
Bartholomew: Yes, they actually were.
Passenger 2: Why?
Bartholomew: Not sure.

90 dakika later at Denver's train station

Hawkeye: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *looks back* Wait a minute, where's Bartholomew?
Hawkeye: What do wewe mean? He's in the tr- *looks back* He's gone.
Coffee Creme: We gotta find him *climbs out engine*
Hawkeye: I gotta stay here!
Coffee Creme: Did wewe see the conductor?
Passenger: Did wewe see a plane to Neigh York?
Coffee Creme: No?
Passenger: Then I can't help wewe (God I can't believe I have to swin across the atlantic ocean!)
Passenger 3: Excuse me, miss? Did wewe say wewe were looking for your conductor?
Coffee Creme: Yes. wewe saw him?
Passenger 3: He jumped out the train. That passenger wewe were just talking to was using some futuristic machine, and annoyed the conductor, and another passenger.
Coffee Creme: Oh no

Back at Cheyenne

Pete: So wewe don't feel like wewe can be a conductor right?
Bartholomew: N-n-no sir, I don't.
Pete: Well, wewe can work in the yards if you'd like.
Bartholomew: Sure.
Snowflake: Big mistake!
Bartholomew: Why?
Pete: Ah, she's just teasing. Gordon worked in the yards last year, and he had a tough time.
Bartholomew: Where is Gordon anyway?
Gordon: *swimming in atlantic ocean* I should be close soon. *looks up* LAND!!! *swims toward land*

Nearby was a runway in an airport

runway pony: Land!
Pilot: *about to land*
Gordon: Am I in Germany?!
runway pony: No, this is Jersey City.
Pilot: *crashes into building*
Gordon: Oh.

Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.

Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: hujambo wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*

The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*

Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car inayofuata to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!

The End

On The inayofuata Episode Of Ponies On The Rails

Gordon shows wewe how he got a smartphone in 1951
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After delivering the blueprints, Con was sent to a german military base in South Korea.

Fenix: Con, great to see wewe again
Con: Fenix, wewe can fucking walk! How's it been?
Fenix: Alright, but it was painful to get the leg on.
Con: At least wewe have one.
Fenix: So what do wewe want?
Con: I need to find out about a sunken ship in the sea of japan. Steve Jobs attacked it, but made it look like the North Koreans did the destruction
Fenix: I know how to get wewe there

6 dakika later, they were flying 4,500 feet above the water.

Fenix: Now what wewe want to do is cut the rope right when wewe hit the water....
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con had to go to Las Pegasus where Steve Jobs was hosting a party for his "excellent" news

car: Srow down!
Con: I wish S told me about the car talking!
usher: *opens door*
Con: *hands over keys* Don't let her boss wewe around.

Con walked into the building. When he got there, he was greeted with loud music, and flashing lights.

Con: Now let's see what they have here.
Carrot Top: Con?
Con: Oh, hey. I haven't seen wewe in a while
Carrot Top: *slaps Con*
Con: I see now. Other then being gone for too long what have I done to you?
Carrot Top: wewe don't remember?
Con: That's why I asked.
Carrot Top: How about...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The famous spy of the Central Intelligence Of Equestria has returned!

The story begins at a Mexican airbase.

P: What do wewe see?
Con: Other then rain, and explosive weapons from communists?
P: Ach. zaidi serious then I thought.
S: Hang on, there's a gppony, pony there that looks familiar.
P: Yeah, isn't that Snails?
Con: I see him too.
Snails: Get all these weapons to our base in Las Pegasus as soon as possible!
Mexican pony98: Yes sir.
Con: We have to get rid of those weapons *shoots nuclear missile*
Moneybit: What the fuck is he doing?
P: His job.
mexicans: *shoot at Con*
Con: *kills three mexicans*
S: Con,...
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 London race track
London race track
There would be four races in London. upinde wa mvua Dash would take the first one, Sean had the second, Daredevil would do the third, and the last race would belong to Nikki.

Felix: That upinde wa mvua mare is going down.
Russian pony87: wewe sure boss?
Felix: Yes I'm sure.
Sean: wewe can do this.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I know.
Sean: Just saying. Good luck.
Rainbow Dash: *starts car*
Q.O.E: Let the race begin
racers: *drive*
Felix: *loads gun*
Rainbow Dash: *goes to 1st place*
Felix: I don't think so! *follows*
Sean: Hang on, that's Felix's car.
Daredevil: What do wewe mean?
Sean: That red Cobra!
Daredevil: Oh damnit!...
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 Sean's new Canterlot Firebolt
Sean's new Canterlot Firebolt
It was a busy time on the highway from Ponyville to Fillydelphia. Another truck carrying drugs was in a hurry. It had to go to Filly as fast as possible, 100 miles an hour.

Sean: *driving Firebolt*
Nikki: *driving Wrestler*
Daredevil: *driving Supra*
Rainbow Dash: *driving Pegasus*

All four upgraded their cars, and Sean's Firebolt was new. Courtesy of the Canterlot car company.

Sean: Alright. Let's see what this baby can do! *goes 110*
Nikki: I can go faster then you! *Goes 120*
Daredevil: I'll go faster then both of you! *goes 130*
Rainbow Dash: wewe forgot about me *goes 140*
Sean: Ok. There's the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Thomas' Flam Special
Thomas' Flam Special
All four of our Heroes we're resting at the hideout. Nikki however, was remembering her first race four years ago. Before she had a Wrestler, her car was a Lightningbird.

DJ: *playing 50's rock*
Nikki: *upgrading transmission*
Thomas: Hey, that looks cool.
Nikki: Thanks. What do wewe have?
Thomas: See that Special over there?
Nikki: That car?
Thomas: Yeah. I'll take wewe on at the raceway if wewe want.
Nikki: Ok.

The two ponies got their car set up at the starting line.

Flag pony: wewe ready?
Nikki & Thomas: Ready!
Flag pony: 3... 2... 1... GO!!
Nikki: *floors it*
Thomas: *does burnout*
Nikki: *goes...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
On a highway leaving Ponyville there was a truck. It was carrying heroine, and was going 60 miles an hour. Suddenly three cars showed up behind it. Nikki, Sean, and Daredevil were chasing it.

Sean: Ok, remember the plan?
Daredevil: Yeah!
Nikki: We stop the trucks, and get the drugs.
Sean: Perfect. wewe two get alongside it, I'll get infront. *goes faster*
Nikki: I have the left side
Daredevil: Right.
Sean: *gets in front of truck* wewe in position?
Nikki & Daredevil: Yeah!
Sean: Then here we go *slows down*
trucker: *honks horn*
Sean: Now this is where upinde wa mvua Dash comes in. wewe hear me Dash?
Rainbow...
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posted by mariofan14
It was a rainy siku in the town of Ponyville on a Saturday. Nobody wanted to go outside during a rainy siku because they thought they would be afflicted kwa a little bit of gloom. But then, there was a splash in a little puddle. Someone was walking someplace. But who? Let's follow that particular pony, shall we?

This gppony, pony was making its way towards Sweet apple Acres, but for what reason? To buy some apples? Maybe, but this wasn't really the case. Anyways, the gppony, pony knocked on the door in front of the house. Granny Smith opened it up, saying, "How can ah haylp ya?" "I've come for apple Bloom," the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Warning, this has a extremely intense car chase. If wewe don't like intense action then do not read

Russians: *driving trucks*
Con: *driving behind them*
Russian trucker1: Who is that pony?
Sanchez: Attention, Con Mane has stolen one of our trucks. Stop him at all costs!
Russian trucker 1: I see him! *slows down*
Russian pony45: *driving bus*
Russian pony89: Stop!
Russian pony45: *stops* Get the rocket launchers, they're in the trunk.
Russian pony89: *grabs rocket launcher*
Russian trucker 1: *rams Con*
Con: *rams trucker*
Citizen 8975: *spins off road*
Con: *rams truck into canyon*
Construction worker:...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Location - Near Equestria Moutains
Time - 5:50
Alpha Team - Bravo we near location...
Dan - Roger that Alpha... Delta wewe near
FireDash - ye- HOLY CRAP RPG *silent*
Dan - DELTA DELTA! CRAP
Alpha Team - WE NEED BA- *silent*
NightFire - RPG!
Dan - moto moto *fire*
Marine - THIS CAR GET ONLY 2 FIRES FROM RPG!
Dan - WELL FIRE! *fire*
NighrFire - I-I DONT KNOW WHERE THEY ARE... RPG!
RPG hit Dan and NightFire
Dan - *lieing on ground* crap... NightFire... wewe ok
NightFire - yeah *wstand up*
There was moto everywhere... they was knocked on 5 dakika and nuclear bomb exploted in air...
Dan - what the hell...
NightFire...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
It's the 11th Con Mane story, and it begins in Berlin Germany. Con's best friend Fenix Lighter, an agent for the German Secret Service, M.I.3 is on his way to a marriage. Con, and another gppony, pony is with him, until they run into trouble....

I was actually typing that while listening to the nyota wars theme song! LOL

Fenix: Are we almost there? How do I look?
Con: Relax Fenix.
German pony75: *flies near them*
German pony23: hujambo look, there's a message.
Con: *reads it* Follow me.
German pony23: *follows*
German pony75: *lands*
Fenix: *gets out* What the fuck happened?
German pony75: Sanchez escaped, he's...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh wewe from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this pony
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are wewe doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did wewe do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: wewe sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony: *pushes...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
We left off on the fight between bronies, and haters

Hater 54: *sets up MG*
Sean: *shoots haters*
Security guard: Stop the fighting!
Hater 54: *kills guard*
Sean: Enemy machine gun! Take cover
bronies: *hide behind wall*
Hater 54: *shoot at wall* Penetrate!!
Sean: *kills machine gunner* All clear!
bronies: *advance*
Jade: We got enemies with RPG's!
Hater 402: *shoots missile*
Sean: *runs from missile*
Hater 635: *shoots at Jade*
Jade: *shoots missile*
Hater 635: *dies from explosion*
Sean: *kills other kombora, yamuua carrying haters*
Brony 64: Let's songesha up!

We moved up a floor, and got introduced to 50 haters wanting...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
5 days later in caferia...
Dimitri - *enter caferia... *sits in empety table*
Dan - *teleport on chair and speed sit* *smile* suprised...
Dimitri - rly... wewe live...
Dan - yup...
Dimitri - what wewe want... I left GEA halfyer ago
Dan - I know... *show picture of Tulip* know that mare...
Dimitri - no...
Dan - oh she famous in Russia...
Dimitri - *grab gun*
Dan - ...
Dimitri - *pick gun to Dan head* fuck you...
Dan- ... bad chose *teleport*
Dimitri - *shoot*
Dan - *teleport behaind Dimitri and grab him*... wewe suck in fighting like always...
Dimitri - SHUT UP!
Mare - RUN CALL POLICE!!!!!
Stalion - I DO THIS
Dan...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
I was just driving to Los Angeles, which was a very long way from where I was now. Peekskill New York. I stopped here to visit my cousins, and aunt Laura.

Hater 24: hujambo isn't that the guy our team tried to get 2 days ago?
Hater 532: It is. Let's get him!
Sean: *hears haters & drives faster*
Hater 24: All units listen up! We found Sean Bodine, driving a 2012 Toyota Camry! License plate is GRE-33K
Hater leader: Alright! Permission to shoot on sight.
Sean: *weaving through traffic*
Hater 532: *grabs gun*
Sean: *turns off highway*
Hater 24: *follows*
Hater 532: *shoots back window*
Hater 48: Joining...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
I escaped the haters, but now I had to turn around, and go to Frenchtown.

Mom: *calls me*
Sean: Hello?
Mom: What happened at your house?
Sean: Some guys tried to kill me, and murdered my dad.
Mom: I can see that. I want wewe in Frenchtown, at my place now!
Sean: On my way. I should be there in 20 minutes.

I made it into Frenchtown, but I wasn't sure how to tell my mom who was trying to kill me.

Mom: So what did wewe do after your father died?
Sean: I escaped.
Mom: How? They were at the front door.
Sean: Does it matter how?! I escaped!!
Mom: ANSWER MY QUESTION!
Sean: I climbed out of my kitanda room window....
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It was a regular siku in St. Foalis, and then every leader of the mafias except Dan drove up toward a train yard.

L.P leader: We are dealing with a gang that can destroy any of us.
Fillydelphia leader: Twilight Sparkle is working with them.
Baltimare leader: She's the one we have to kill then.
L.P. leader: And Dan. There's also a grey hedgehog with them.
Fillydelphia leader: Let's kill all three of them then.

The meeting was over. And the Ponyville mafia was relaxing at their place.

Sean: *drinking soda*
Rainbow Dash: *farts on chair* A whoopee cushion? PINKIE PIE!!!!!
Pinkie Pie: *laughing* Wow!...
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The Mafia may not be in Manehattan anymore, but it still lives on everywhere else. Especially in St. Foalis.

Dan: So wewe from where?
Sean: Mobius, it's another world.
Mike: Swag.
Rainbow Dash: Come on wewe guys.
Sean: I'll meet wewe there.
Pinkie Pie: I'm driving!
Sean: wewe always drive my car Pinkie.
Applejack: The rest of us will follow Sean.
Rainbow Dash: Ok.

All of the Ponyville Mafia eventually made it into St. Foalis. After defeating every other mafia in Manehattan there are three new ones to go against. Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia, and Baltimare.

Sean: This is a really great choice of a city...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con ran toward the boats, and when he started one of them the koreans caught up.

Con: *sticks blade toward them*
koreans: *stand still*
Con: What wewe might call, a sharp edge on things. *drives away*
koreans: After him!
Con: Come on, why is this thing going slower?
filly: Hello sir.
Con: Hi.
filly: Would wewe like a wooden elephant? I hand crafted it myself.
Con: I'll tell wewe what. wewe make this mashua go faster, and I'll pay wewe for it.
filly: Really? How much?
Con: Nothing *pushes filly off boat*
Constaple Weston B. River: I hate China.
Constaple's wife: Come on Weston, we just got here.
Con: *drives...
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hi everypony,its me jordy dash.unfortunatley my i pad charger broke so no moto dash: series D; im moyo broken as im uandishi this on xbox and it sucks.this may be my last thing for sometime so if wewe ask me anything itll be rare for me to reply,before i log out i want to thank everypony here,thanks jordy dash aka jordan signing out ); i need to extend this to publiso heres pimkie lolololololololololololllllllllllllllllllllllooooooolllllooooooooooooooooooollllllllllooooooooooooooolllllllllllll