I look back on all those memories,
and wonder, what did this all mean to me?
i new there where feelings,
i loved you!
i loved you!
i cant deny that i didn't,
but now i think back and once again wonder,
what is it that i fell for,
your controlling,
your exhausting,
i cant trust you,
i cant be around my own friends,
guys au girls,
wewe just don't let,
Ive finally come to realize,
that none of this is my fault,
it wasn't me who tore the hearts,
it was you,
your ripped,
wewe tore,
wewe broke,
wewe yelled,
and wewe screamed,
wewe caused me all of this misery,
wewe brought these scars upon my wrists,
and wewe punched the hole in my heart,
i blamed myself,
out of my own stupidity,
i hate you!
i hate you!
this is what wewe did to me!
take a look at that picture!
and look at it closely!
fucking look at it!
i carved my upendo for you,
i carved it into my arm,
so that everyone can see,
that these are the things wewe did to me,
don't listen to his bullshit,
as its waste of time,
don't waste your life in love,
cause all it does is tear wewe apart,
upendo is just an excuse to die,
because once wewe play the cards of love,
your moyo breaks and turns stone cold,
then you'll end up walkin' the death road,
i dug my grave,
so i'll fucking die in it,
thankyou verry much,
cause this is what youve done,
so here i go,
never to be seen again,
fuck you,
i really hate you,
these are my last words,
I LOVED YOU
and wonder, what did this all mean to me?
i new there where feelings,
i loved you!
i loved you!
i cant deny that i didn't,
but now i think back and once again wonder,
what is it that i fell for,
your controlling,
your exhausting,
i cant trust you,
i cant be around my own friends,
guys au girls,
wewe just don't let,
Ive finally come to realize,
that none of this is my fault,
it wasn't me who tore the hearts,
it was you,
your ripped,
wewe tore,
wewe broke,
wewe yelled,
and wewe screamed,
wewe caused me all of this misery,
wewe brought these scars upon my wrists,
and wewe punched the hole in my heart,
i blamed myself,
out of my own stupidity,
i hate you!
i hate you!
this is what wewe did to me!
take a look at that picture!
and look at it closely!
fucking look at it!
i carved my upendo for you,
i carved it into my arm,
so that everyone can see,
that these are the things wewe did to me,
don't listen to his bullshit,
as its waste of time,
don't waste your life in love,
cause all it does is tear wewe apart,
upendo is just an excuse to die,
because once wewe play the cards of love,
your moyo breaks and turns stone cold,
then you'll end up walkin' the death road,
i dug my grave,
so i'll fucking die in it,
thankyou verry much,
cause this is what youve done,
so here i go,
never to be seen again,
fuck you,
i really hate you,
these are my last words,
I LOVED YOU
I am not nice but I feel.
I wonder but I don't know
what about.
I hear people talking but I never know what they say.
I see many thinks but never know what I'm looking at.
I want people to look to the past but not dwell on it.
I pretend to be something I'm not.
I fell things i cant see.
I touch and the smoothest things feel rough.
I worry that the siku will never end.
I cry but tears never come.
I understand that not ever ones the same.
I say something i don't mean.
I dream but only see blackness.
I hope that someday someone we'll see through my shield I put up and see me.
I am not nice but i feel.
I am who I am!
I’m quiet on the outside
An all-wrecking, raging storm on the inside
I can’t speak,
Because I fear I can only produce inhuman cries
But my inner screams overwhelm any external sound
I don't blame wewe for not seeing behind my hollow eyes
I don't blame wewe for not hearing anything but silence
And I don't blame wewe for not feeling my moyo breaking in my chest, over and over again
But I wish wewe would just hold me, and tell me I'll be okay.
That somehow, this all-consuming pain is not going to kill me.
That I will come out of this, stronger.
I wish I could distance myself from this destruction,
But I belong in the center of the hurricane
Because I need this pain, like I need oxygen
So, let my ravel in my agony,
Without it I am nothing
An all-wrecking, raging storm on the inside
I can’t speak,
Because I fear I can only produce inhuman cries
But my inner screams overwhelm any external sound
I don't blame wewe for not seeing behind my hollow eyes
I don't blame wewe for not hearing anything but silence
And I don't blame wewe for not feeling my moyo breaking in my chest, over and over again
But I wish wewe would just hold me, and tell me I'll be okay.
That somehow, this all-consuming pain is not going to kill me.
That I will come out of this, stronger.
I wish I could distance myself from this destruction,
But I belong in the center of the hurricane
Because I need this pain, like I need oxygen
So, let my ravel in my agony,
Without it I am nothing
Chapter 1:The begaining
It started with the fighting,the endless fighting.It was mid Febuary 2001 when a couple with a small boy and another child on the way,split.They had been aurguing for hours on end and the husband,Jason,decided to leave and live with a friend for a while.While the wife,Sandra,cried and wept to no avail Jason left.Jason had contracted pnemonia and was placed in a hospital only days after his fight with Sandra.Sandra was also in the hospital but for a different reason,she had aliyopewa birth to a girl named Emily.And that was the begaining of Emily's life,a life full of sadness and missery that will come to a halt and be cut short kwa the evil hands of fate and the mind.
It started with the fighting,the endless fighting.It was mid Febuary 2001 when a couple with a small boy and another child on the way,split.They had been aurguing for hours on end and the husband,Jason,decided to leave and live with a friend for a while.While the wife,Sandra,cried and wept to no avail Jason left.Jason had contracted pnemonia and was placed in a hospital only days after his fight with Sandra.Sandra was also in the hospital but for a different reason,she had aliyopewa birth to a girl named Emily.And that was the begaining of Emily's life,a life full of sadness and missery that will come to a halt and be cut short kwa the evil hands of fate and the mind.
A silhouette standing alone,
Amongst a field of arid snow,
Waiting for something still unknown,
Not any further from the tombstone.
Awaiting a sign of life and hope,
Letting out a deep sigh,
“It’s not getting any easier to cope”
A whisper carried kwa the wind.
The stars: my aspirations,
But city lights in the distance,
Taunted it from their foundations,
Caustic lights ending its existence.
An unattached shadow standing in solitude,
Amongst a field of caustic cold,
Tired of waiting, wanting to end,
I was everything untold.
Amongst a field of arid snow,
Waiting for something still unknown,
Not any further from the tombstone.
Awaiting a sign of life and hope,
Letting out a deep sigh,
“It’s not getting any easier to cope”
A whisper carried kwa the wind.
The stars: my aspirations,
But city lights in the distance,
Taunted it from their foundations,
Caustic lights ending its existence.
An unattached shadow standing in solitude,
Amongst a field of caustic cold,
Tired of waiting, wanting to end,
I was everything untold.