1. When a twilight shabiki says 'twilight rocks' say 'rocks made of twilight?'
2. Go up to a twilight fan, scream 'Bella! Bella! BELLA!!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!' when they say 'I know right!' say 'Oh no I meant Bellatrix'
3. Ask them all maswali about twilight that wewe can think of. When they ask why say 'I'm doing a book ripoti on the most boring vitabu of the world'
4. Get all the boys and twilight haters (better for them to be Harry Potter fans) to start saying 'Edward, Edwardo, Eddibear, sparkle sparkle'
5. Say that wewe hate Stephanie Meyer, she's a horrible mwandishi and her vitabu make want to poke your eyes out with a pencil. Then say that kusoma JK Rowling's vitabu are like kusoma vitabu sent from heaven.
6. Tell them that people like Dracula and Voldemort are way zaidi famous and that they can kick Edward's ass!
7. If they tell wewe that Twilight are the bestselling and most maarufu vitabu ever, go on Wikipedia with them, tafuta bestselling books, scroll down and onyesha them that twilight is not there. Then go to best selling book series, scroll down, down, down, down past Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Nancy Drew, Captain chupi, underpants etc. when wewe finally see twilight say 'Oh look there's twilight right there. Almost at the bottom.'
8. Tell them wewe went online and gave the new twilight movie one star, when they ask why say 'because Robert Pattinson was totally wearing lipstick!'
9. Remind them Edward Cullen/Jacob Black isn't real.
10. Tell a shabiki that you'll send her a T-Shirt with Edward Cullen on both sides. After the two days go by, don't send her anything. When she comes up and asks wewe why, tell her because wewe wanted to give someone that handsome to her in person. When she gets excited, give her a T-Shirt with Hagrid on it.
11. Tell them 'real men don't sparkle' when they ask 'who alisema that real men don't sparkle?' say 'Have wewe got ear problems? I alisema Only gay men sparkle. Jeez.'
12. When they try to force wewe into watching twilight, try to force them into watching Harry Potter. If they say 'But I hate it!' say 'Well I hate twilight!' and when they say 'just watch it and you'll like it!' say 'No, wewe watch Harry Potter and you'll like it!' etc.
13. Wen they tell wewe they dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'oh my goodness what a nightmare!'
14. When they say the dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'well I dreamed about Voldemort, they're equally hot right?'
15. If wewe catch them kusoma twilight, snatch the book, throw it in a trash can, say 'oh man I dropped it'
16. If wewe catch them watching a twilight movie, wait for the part that Edward au Jacob (depending on who the shabiki likes more) take his shati off, when this part comes jump in front of the screen and scream 'FRED AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER! Fred AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER!' when the part ends walk away from the screen saying 'oh never mind'
17. When they ask 'why do wewe hate twilight so much?' say 'I don't hate it, I actually upendo it' when they say 'really?' say 'Yeah it's my inayopendelewa part of the day. wewe know after the sun sits and the sky is like all purplish and all.'
18. If wewe find a twilight book in their bag, take it and replace it with a Harry Potter one.
19. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because twilight got him after Harry Potter was finished with him.
20. Say that Stephenie Meyer totally aliiba the names Bella, Alice, James, Black and Clearwater from JK Rowling
21. orodha every power that a wizard can have and use all at once (seeing the future, kusoma minds, etc.), that a vampire would only have one of.
22. Whenever they mention Jacob Black, innocently ask if they meant Wormtail.
23. Say that Bella swan and Argus Filch would make such a romantic couple.
24. Flinch whenever they say Edward and tell them to say You-Know-Who
25. Explain how Twilight mtu-bweha are really Animagi, and ask whether they're registered with the Ministry of Magic.
26. Tell them they're so crazy they have to go to St. Mungo's
27. Always remind them of the Dumbledore quote 'It does no good dwell in dreams' then remind them that the idea of twilight came to Stephenie Meyer in a dream.
28. Compare Edward Cullen to Mad Eye Moody. Compare silly stuff like their hair, skin color etc. that of course are going to be similar. Then say 'how could wewe fall for someone who looks totally like Moody?'
29. When they remember Edward say 'Edward who?' when they say 'Edward Cullen' say 'Edward Swollen?'
30. If they say Harry Potter wears weird glasses, say 'Well at least he WEARS glasses. He doesn't sparkle like glasses. Unlike Edward Cullen over here!'
31. When they say Bella is was so brave, remind them what she did when Edward left her, then what Hermione did when Ron chose another one, then what Ginny did when Harry Left her. Compare them and then say 'Now wewe tell me, which one would wewe choose to do?'
32. Whenever they mention anything/anyone related to twilight say 'STOP BLOWING UP MY EARS!'
33. When they say they dreamed that Edward/Jacob kissed them, say 'A dementor kissed you?'
34. When they beg wewe enough to read twilight, say okay. Open it,start kusoma aloud, at the end of every sentence, make fun of the sentence wewe read.
35. Ask them 'how come Edward Cullen is a vegetarian? I thought Wanyonya damu can't eat vegetables au fruits.'
36. Grab an empty notebook and a pencil, sit inayofuata to them, write Stephenie Meyer a very long hate letter, and mutter what you're uandishi out loud.
37. When they call on the phone and start talking about how hot is Robert Pattinson playing Edward Cullen, interrupt them and say 'Hey I just saw Daniel Radcliffe walking on my street! I'll go say hi and remind him of the stupid choice Robert made' then hang up in their face.
38. Tell them ' I heard there will be another book' when they get all excited, tell them 'You do know I mean another Harry Potter book right?'
39. Tell them Harry Potter is better than twilight, when they start to argue keep muttering 'Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter. Twilight sucks Twilight sucks Twilight sucks' like crazy.
40. Tell them that wewe think Voldemort is prettier than Rosalie.
41. Tell them that Wanyonya damu and mtu-bweha don't exist, when they say 'Wizards don't exist either' say 'Oh yes we do!' then take a stick, point it at them and shout 'Avada Kadavra!' When it doesn't work keep on poking the stick and shouting the same words. Extra points if wewe poke them at least five times.
42. Tell them that JK Rowling got her book published with only one chapter while Stephenie Meyer got twilight barley published with the whole novel.
43. Tell them Hermione plays kinanda way better than Edward.
44. Tell them the Volturi are too stupid to walk all the way from Italy to Forks and not fly.
45. Tell them if wewe meet Bella you'll slap her in the face.
46. When they start talking about twilight pretend to be staring into space. After a few hours of their talking, when they finally finished say 'huh? what? Sorry I didn't hear you. I was thinking about Harry Potter'
47. When they tell wewe to get a life, say 'why? Edward doesn't have one'
48. When they say they upendo Edward ask why, when they tell wewe the reason, ask why once again. Keep on asking why after everything they say.
49. Go to her room with your friends, remove all the twilight posters, pillows, kitanda covers etc. burn them, replace them with Harry Potter ones. Extra points of wewe do not get caught and she never finds out it was wewe who did it.
50. Buy a twilight pencil, when she says she wants it. Tell her 'okay, let me just sharpen it for you.' sharpen it until it's all gone, then say 'aw man!I'm sorry there's nothing left of it.' Extra points if she searches the trash can like crazy looking for the pencil cores.
2. Go up to a twilight fan, scream 'Bella! Bella! BELLA!!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!' when they say 'I know right!' say 'Oh no I meant Bellatrix'
3. Ask them all maswali about twilight that wewe can think of. When they ask why say 'I'm doing a book ripoti on the most boring vitabu of the world'
4. Get all the boys and twilight haters (better for them to be Harry Potter fans) to start saying 'Edward, Edwardo, Eddibear, sparkle sparkle'
5. Say that wewe hate Stephanie Meyer, she's a horrible mwandishi and her vitabu make want to poke your eyes out with a pencil. Then say that kusoma JK Rowling's vitabu are like kusoma vitabu sent from heaven.
6. Tell them that people like Dracula and Voldemort are way zaidi famous and that they can kick Edward's ass!
7. If they tell wewe that Twilight are the bestselling and most maarufu vitabu ever, go on Wikipedia with them, tafuta bestselling books, scroll down and onyesha them that twilight is not there. Then go to best selling book series, scroll down, down, down, down past Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Nancy Drew, Captain chupi, underpants etc. when wewe finally see twilight say 'Oh look there's twilight right there. Almost at the bottom.'
8. Tell them wewe went online and gave the new twilight movie one star, when they ask why say 'because Robert Pattinson was totally wearing lipstick!'
9. Remind them Edward Cullen/Jacob Black isn't real.
10. Tell a shabiki that you'll send her a T-Shirt with Edward Cullen on both sides. After the two days go by, don't send her anything. When she comes up and asks wewe why, tell her because wewe wanted to give someone that handsome to her in person. When she gets excited, give her a T-Shirt with Hagrid on it.
11. Tell them 'real men don't sparkle' when they ask 'who alisema that real men don't sparkle?' say 'Have wewe got ear problems? I alisema Only gay men sparkle. Jeez.'
12. When they try to force wewe into watching twilight, try to force them into watching Harry Potter. If they say 'But I hate it!' say 'Well I hate twilight!' and when they say 'just watch it and you'll like it!' say 'No, wewe watch Harry Potter and you'll like it!' etc.
13. Wen they tell wewe they dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'oh my goodness what a nightmare!'
14. When they say the dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'well I dreamed about Voldemort, they're equally hot right?'
15. If wewe catch them kusoma twilight, snatch the book, throw it in a trash can, say 'oh man I dropped it'
16. If wewe catch them watching a twilight movie, wait for the part that Edward au Jacob (depending on who the shabiki likes more) take his shati off, when this part comes jump in front of the screen and scream 'FRED AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER! Fred AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER!' when the part ends walk away from the screen saying 'oh never mind'
17. When they ask 'why do wewe hate twilight so much?' say 'I don't hate it, I actually upendo it' when they say 'really?' say 'Yeah it's my inayopendelewa part of the day. wewe know after the sun sits and the sky is like all purplish and all.'
18. If wewe find a twilight book in their bag, take it and replace it with a Harry Potter one.
19. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because twilight got him after Harry Potter was finished with him.
20. Say that Stephenie Meyer totally aliiba the names Bella, Alice, James, Black and Clearwater from JK Rowling
21. orodha every power that a wizard can have and use all at once (seeing the future, kusoma minds, etc.), that a vampire would only have one of.
22. Whenever they mention Jacob Black, innocently ask if they meant Wormtail.
23. Say that Bella swan and Argus Filch would make such a romantic couple.
24. Flinch whenever they say Edward and tell them to say You-Know-Who
25. Explain how Twilight mtu-bweha are really Animagi, and ask whether they're registered with the Ministry of Magic.
26. Tell them they're so crazy they have to go to St. Mungo's
27. Always remind them of the Dumbledore quote 'It does no good dwell in dreams' then remind them that the idea of twilight came to Stephenie Meyer in a dream.
28. Compare Edward Cullen to Mad Eye Moody. Compare silly stuff like their hair, skin color etc. that of course are going to be similar. Then say 'how could wewe fall for someone who looks totally like Moody?'
29. When they remember Edward say 'Edward who?' when they say 'Edward Cullen' say 'Edward Swollen?'
30. If they say Harry Potter wears weird glasses, say 'Well at least he WEARS glasses. He doesn't sparkle like glasses. Unlike Edward Cullen over here!'
31. When they say Bella is was so brave, remind them what she did when Edward left her, then what Hermione did when Ron chose another one, then what Ginny did when Harry Left her. Compare them and then say 'Now wewe tell me, which one would wewe choose to do?'
32. Whenever they mention anything/anyone related to twilight say 'STOP BLOWING UP MY EARS!'
33. When they say they dreamed that Edward/Jacob kissed them, say 'A dementor kissed you?'
34. When they beg wewe enough to read twilight, say okay. Open it,start kusoma aloud, at the end of every sentence, make fun of the sentence wewe read.
35. Ask them 'how come Edward Cullen is a vegetarian? I thought Wanyonya damu can't eat vegetables au fruits.'
36. Grab an empty notebook and a pencil, sit inayofuata to them, write Stephenie Meyer a very long hate letter, and mutter what you're uandishi out loud.
37. When they call on the phone and start talking about how hot is Robert Pattinson playing Edward Cullen, interrupt them and say 'Hey I just saw Daniel Radcliffe walking on my street! I'll go say hi and remind him of the stupid choice Robert made' then hang up in their face.
38. Tell them ' I heard there will be another book' when they get all excited, tell them 'You do know I mean another Harry Potter book right?'
39. Tell them Harry Potter is better than twilight, when they start to argue keep muttering 'Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter. Twilight sucks Twilight sucks Twilight sucks' like crazy.
40. Tell them that wewe think Voldemort is prettier than Rosalie.
41. Tell them that Wanyonya damu and mtu-bweha don't exist, when they say 'Wizards don't exist either' say 'Oh yes we do!' then take a stick, point it at them and shout 'Avada Kadavra!' When it doesn't work keep on poking the stick and shouting the same words. Extra points if wewe poke them at least five times.
42. Tell them that JK Rowling got her book published with only one chapter while Stephenie Meyer got twilight barley published with the whole novel.
43. Tell them Hermione plays kinanda way better than Edward.
44. Tell them the Volturi are too stupid to walk all the way from Italy to Forks and not fly.
45. Tell them if wewe meet Bella you'll slap her in the face.
46. When they start talking about twilight pretend to be staring into space. After a few hours of their talking, when they finally finished say 'huh? what? Sorry I didn't hear you. I was thinking about Harry Potter'
47. When they tell wewe to get a life, say 'why? Edward doesn't have one'
48. When they say they upendo Edward ask why, when they tell wewe the reason, ask why once again. Keep on asking why after everything they say.
49. Go to her room with your friends, remove all the twilight posters, pillows, kitanda covers etc. burn them, replace them with Harry Potter ones. Extra points of wewe do not get caught and she never finds out it was wewe who did it.
50. Buy a twilight pencil, when she says she wants it. Tell her 'okay, let me just sharpen it for you.' sharpen it until it's all gone, then say 'aw man!I'm sorry there's nothing left of it.' Extra points if she searches the trash can like crazy looking for the pencil cores.
But what would be the perfect book for summer: a new chapter of Harry Potter au the sequel to Breaking Dawn? Would wewe prefer to read the new adventures of thrush, ugonjwa wa upele after "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," au to know what happens to Edward and Bella after the ending of the Twilight saga? Vote!
And how can wewe imagine zaidi of these stories? Let go of the ndoto and ... "write" wewe Harry Potter 8 and the new adventures of Edward and Bella!
Did wewe ever think that dumbledore was useing harry potter? Well he did! As wewe can see in snape's thoughts that he did. Dumbledore alisema that he was like a pig up for slauter! I mean who is mean to say that au act twards that person. WELL HE DID!
He doesn't realy think about what would he feel if he was steping into his shoes. I mean come on. He thinks he so COOL that he has the elder wand. HE'S A NORMAL PERSON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Well now getting back to the subject. Dumbledore is a MEAN person so if wewe want to find out your self then go to chapter that says "Snape's Memories"
-Spongebob105
He doesn't realy think about what would he feel if he was steping into his shoes. I mean come on. He thinks he so COOL that he has the elder wand. HE'S A NORMAL PERSON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Well now getting back to the subject. Dumbledore is a MEAN person so if wewe want to find out your self then go to chapter that says "Snape's Memories"
-Spongebob105
Oh do wewe not see, the language so cruciated,
kwa your most unfortunate attempt in grammars?
Do wewe believe, for that moment that we're mirthed?
Well, then wewe are as mistaken as the Balaclava Brits.
Don't wewe see, your own insults to your common decency?
Do wewe not hear, our desperate attempts to save your sanity?
I hope wewe hear, I must hope wewe see.
But I think, wewe only see your vanity.
Vanity, vanity, everything vanity...
But then where are your humanity? The World wonder'd...
Dedicated to iluvtwilight, ellietwilight12 and every other rabid shabiki in the whole wide world. I plead to you: Stop this madness...
Inspiration: Alfred, Lord Tennyson; the Charge of the Light Brigade
kwa your most unfortunate attempt in grammars?
Do wewe believe, for that moment that we're mirthed?
Well, then wewe are as mistaken as the Balaclava Brits.
Don't wewe see, your own insults to your common decency?
Do wewe not hear, our desperate attempts to save your sanity?
I hope wewe hear, I must hope wewe see.
But I think, wewe only see your vanity.
Vanity, vanity, everything vanity...
But then where are your humanity? The World wonder'd...
Dedicated to iluvtwilight, ellietwilight12 and every other rabid shabiki in the whole wide world. I plead to you: Stop this madness...
Inspiration: Alfred, Lord Tennyson; the Charge of the Light Brigade
Okay so first of i am going to say again i am a shabiki of both.But if wewe would ask me what i like better i think it would probably be Harry Potter.But i want to hear out why do wewe dislike/hate(tho hate it's to of a strong word for a book/movie)Twilight.I want solid arguments not such as : cause the Wanyonya damu there sparkle , like this Twilight mashabiki could just say 'because Harry has a scar' au 'because they go to a school of magic' au 'because all death eaters are black(mostly)' i mean these are arguments just so wewe can say something.I tend to believe these days people hate/dislike Twilight just because others do.And i will ask wewe nicely and be thankful if wewe could tell me why wewe don't like it at all/hate it.