(Warning: Lots of swearing. Sorry, but it's the only way to get my point across.)

Okay, let's get this over with- THE CULLENS ARE NOT FUCKING VAMPIRES. I don't know what the hell they are, but they are not vampires.

Sunlight: A vampire cannot go into the sunlight, as they will burn. There are a few exceptions though; In Romania, there are special vamps called Moroi, Dhampirs, and Strogoi (e.g. Vampire Academy). Also, Wanyonya damu could wear special magical jewellry that can let them go out in the sunlight (e.g. Vampire Diaries, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel).

In Twilight, there is none of this. In fact, the Wanyonya damu do this fucked-up thing where they sparkle like glitter-glue au Colgate toothpaste. Bram Stoker is crying in his grave.

Yes, it sure was, to put it nicely, original, but Twilight completely disregarded hundreds of years of mythology!

Let's say that wewe became a legendary creature thingy called an... Andie. At first, there are hundreds of stories about wewe being an awesome Doctor Who shabiki and the only Fanpopper who can pull off taking pictures with Redvines. But then this awful amateur writer writes this fucked-up fanfic about you... I don't know, liking Miley Cyrus. Would wewe be offended? I think yes. Especially when hundreds of teens worldwide will go, "I WANNA BE AN ANDIE!!!!! I LIKE MILEY CYRUS!!!!"

Wanyonya damu Living Forever: Wanyonya damu DO NOT FUCKING LIVE FOREVER. Seriously, when did people get that shit in their heads?

Wanyonya damu are dead - well, the correct term is undead. One vampire goes and sucks the life out of some bila mpangilio human. Then he gives some of his creature-of-the-night blood to the human. The human is then a vampire. I do not see how wewe can be 'living' when wewe have no heartbeat.

Wanyonya damu not having fangs: Meyer described the Cullens as not having fangs. ... the fuck?

Wanyonya damu DO have fangs. Otherwise, how can they survive? Idiot.

KTHXBAI!!! :D