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posted by karpach_14
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the upendo of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'


Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if wewe get nyumbani before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened kwa the time she brings it to the couch.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather au cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house kwa noon!'

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the mitaani, mtaa bald and still think they are beautiful!

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and wewe had to choose, would wewe go to lunch au to a movie?

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our onyesha today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see wewe again....
continue reading...
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