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posted by ultimatefredde
I write this last words to reflect my existence. For someone to do something against this evil evil being who is called The Hand.

It's hard to explain my existence, especially since the beginning of it, because suddenly appeared. Do not ask me how, but appeared. The first time I opened my eyes they hurt. It was great light that dazzles me, light that sooner au later I would get used to. I could not move. His feet were glued to a platform. I myself was stuck against a background invisible, as if it were in two dimensions. It was sheer torture, I had a terrible fear, but had not yet begun the worst because, suddenly, she appeared ...

Hand. There are no words to describe such a being. Nothing has changed since the first time I saw her, I still continue freezing . She governs the fate of everything. She can read minds, wewe can read the soul. She is, as I discovered later, powerful, giver of pain and happiness.

When I discovered that she ignored me, I sighed with relief. Wrong. Suddenly, I felt like my body was stretched as I tore my eyes to replace them kwa others, as I even changed sex repeatedly, so much that it hurt. I introduced different types of hair, I changed the color of my clothes (although I must admit that I put pink was the most pretty) ... and finally, Hand began to press a strange symbols, and I thought it was all over ... when suddenly the symbols that she had marked me is burned into the back. I had a name, but all I felt was that it was a toy in his hands.

At the end of that particular torture session, Hand whisk me out of that place in dark blue, and I fainted.

When I awoke, she was gone, but instead numerous beings appeared around me.Short, tall, yellow, pink ... all were, at first sight different, but basically the same. These beings were like me. Miis. For the first time since I remember, I felt safe.

When I awoke, I was approached kwa a Mii with a mustache and look of deep anti-Semitic. In its wake, other Miis prostrated themselves before him with great fear and respect. I imitated them, but took the opportunity to look at the Mii sideways. It was a Mii like any other, perhaps zaidi detailed than others, but especially differed because he carried a bronze crown which, easily, one could read the word "favorite."

'I'm the boss here alisema the Mii-The name wewe gave me a hand is' I', but wewe just call me Favorite.

Yes, sir, I replied shakily Favorite.

- Do wewe know that does this bronze crown? - alisema shown it again and again. 'Well, this proves that I am the leader here, and wewe must obey.

That said, inayopendelewa left. Later some of the Miis told me that he was the favorite, which always was chosen to see the outside, a place no one else had seen, as they had never gone out of that prison called the Mii Channel.

And so time went steady, unchanged. Occasionally, she clung to inayopendelewa and took him to a place full of adventure, au so I imagined. Meanwhile, the rest of the Miis we watched , which occasionally required us to line up and grab some and shaking him. Sometimes, even, she chose a Mii and took him, but we all knew that was not the same site as a Favorite, and the Mii never came back. We tried not to talk about it, pretend it never happened,

Occasionally new Miis arrived, but despite that, nothing changed for a long time and I thought I would bre like this forever ... naive of me.


Everything happened at once. I found myself talking to one of the Miis when suddenly she came out of nowhere and pounced on me. I could not avoid it, and I seized it with her powerful fingers. I begged for help, but the rest of the Miis did not even look my way. When Hand took me out of the Mii Channel, I already thought I was lost. I thought was about to follow the same path as the rest of the Miis missing, perish in oblivion forever ... when I appeared in the middle of a tennis court.

- What is this? - I asked suspiciously. Suddenly, there a racket in my hands, and a ball at high speed toward me. It was launched kwa another Mii, one that I had never seen. In her eyes I saw the will to win.

-Hey, give him the ball! - Shouted a Mii who shared the field with me. With all my strength, I gave the ball, causing flames shot out around her. From there, I got carried away kwa the frenzied sport of tennis. After a while, out of the blue appeared a great baseball field. And I had no legs! However, in the air, hitting a grand champion, marked nyumbani Runs and I was happy. I thought this must be paradise, a paradise where they acquire skills for any sport, and where sometimes wewe snatch legs.

Finally, I appeared in a boxing ring. After the victories , I sensed that this would be easy ... inayopendelewa appeared before me. It was my opponent! Why? that paradise was mine. Such was the anger I felt for this intrusion, which in a few punches knock out Favorite. I felt incredible, this was a wonderful place, where I was unbeatable and I didnt have to worry about anything, not even her. Sadly, shortly after thinking about it, Hand returned to grab me and Favorite, and took us back to the Mii Channel. I was stunned kwa the events, but above all was happy. He had seen heaven, and lived to tell.

Upon arrival, all the Miis around me, chanting my name, 'Praise the one who came back from death, I rose in the air, but I could not stop thinking about this paradise that I had been taken away from so suddenly. Suddenly, the praise stopped and He stood in front of me, Favorite.

I do not know how wewe got to Wii Sports, but wewe will pay for the loss wewe made me suffer, said, threw a fist at me with the clear purpose to hurt me, when suddenly she grabbed me again. I began to appreciate the Hand, that being that I had breathed life, even though it was very painful and I had been a paradise. But the good feelings that powerful body disappeared when I discovered that I was in the room of torture. Did little cries and cries and supplications, and that as soon as I touched the platform, I became a prisoner of that place. I comforted me thinking it would do much damage, but I was wrong. Hand grabbed a bronze crown in which read "favorite" exactly like the one with the Mii that had fallen in the ring, favorite, and slammed me, making me feel the most pain I've felt in my life. The bronze Crown tore my flesh.

When I awoke, I found myself face to face with Favorite. He Lost the smile that he wore on his face. He alisema bitterly:

-Now you're Mr. Favorite. Enjoy what wewe have, because soon, someone will snatch it, like you've done with me. And hopefully soon.

At the end of the sentence, she grabbed the old inayopendelewa and took it in a twinkling. We did not know anything else.

When he disappeared, I became the new favorite. I must admit that my routine was fantastic. I spent the siku playing baseball, tennis, golf ... sometimes lost, but the most of games I won, and that made me feel happy. When I went to the Mii Channel, people treated me with great respect, and I began to despise those Miis they had not seen the truth, and who were confined in the Mii Channel. I could not be kind to creatures so low who had not suffered the torments before I receivied the Bronze Crown.

A siku like any other, she came to pick me up and took me away. I assumed that I would appear in the bowling alley, a long time since that did happen ... I noticed with great surprise, I was inside a kart, surrounded kwa Miis especially rare: a princess, a species of dinosaur, a plumber in green ... only recognized one of them was the Mii with whom I spoke just before being taken kwa hand to heaven, Wii Sports. On its face, I knew it was the first time he left the Mii Channel. I should have cheered for him for having the good fortune to meet the outside world, but all I felt was pure jealousy, jealousy of someone who feels robbed of paradise.

As the race began, the disaster happened one after another. I was beaten kwa turtles, hit kwa a bullet, lava ... when I got to get to the finish I heard it, I was the 12 th, while the other Mii had been the champion of the competition. After learning this, all I could do was mourn, mourn inconsolably, until I fell asleep over the wheel of my kart.

When I woke up, I saw him carrying Mii now a bronze crown.

When she came for me, I knew that was not to see any paradise. Followed the same path as the awali favorite, and never go back to the Mii Channel. I knew that sooner au later the New inayopendelewa will follow my path, and the inayofuata and the inayofuata ... Miis life is like a mountain climbers, wewe reach the top, and finally wewe see someone die.

I write this, as I speak to my end, as last words, to record my existence. For someone to do something against this evil evil being who is called The Hand.
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the meza, jedwali with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the maziwa carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check au charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a televisheni set in her purse.
"So, do wewe always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did wewe get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been aliyopewa your share !

HE: Will wewe come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make wewe very happy
SHE: Why? Are wewe leaving?

HE: What would wewe say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If upendo is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a casserole, vyungu vya

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole bata

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the inayofuata car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The zaidi it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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posted by Rock_n_Roll671
Okay, I;m not saying wewe should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the maoni which ones you're going to try out.
__________________________________________________

1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz wewe hate America."

3. When wewe go to the princible's office, and when he asks why wewe were sent, say, "I wrote that wewe sucked...
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posted by musicfanaticXD
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited kwa mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah kitindamlo and traveled kwa Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened mkate which is mkate made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...
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posted by Alexyss_Cullen
wewe came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one siku embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I upendo the special bond that we beutifully share,
I upendo the way wewe onyesha u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever salama within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...
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1)At the movies: When wewe meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are wewe doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't wewe try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When wewe ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer siagi Masala" dish good?...
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xD... I found that alot of ppl are posting these ^^

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down yer pants as wewe can and then start dancing

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when wewe laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Everytime they say your name jump up and down rub yer stomach and pat your head.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear...
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* machungwa, chungwa Lavaburst
* peach, pichi (no longer produced)
* Poppin' pink Lemonade
* strawberry Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* Candy apple cooler


[edit] Hi-C Blast

* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* matunda Pow
* matunda Punch
* Orange
* machungwa, chungwa Supernova
* pink Lemonade
* raspberry, rasiberi Kiwi
* Strawberry
* strawberry Kiwi
* Wild Berry

[edit] Hi-C sour, wamekula Blast

* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
__________________________________________________

THE WORD HI 61 TIMES

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
Did wewe really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be zaidi than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special siku
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that siku
there was lots to be alisema
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When wewe alisema "I upendo you"
I alisema "I upendo wewe too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be zaidi
What if I did...
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10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) songesha everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an tembo weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While...
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10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our Marafiki and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if wewe sometimes feel sad au depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to wewe sorry, but if your in any other country, then wewe still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When wewe think of chokoleti everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press bila mpangilio numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their maswali with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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1. "Do not use if wewe cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

2. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

3. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

4. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

5. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

6. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

7. "Do not use while sleeping au unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

8. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. wewe can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say wewe should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching televisheni kwa candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find televisheni very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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WELDONE!

YOU HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO wewe - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow fanpop failures...

i have failed to bring wewe the news of fail blog sooner...

some of wewe may know but the rest of wewe probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your siku to siku FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most bila mpangilio posts of failed picha shots of failures ilitumwa kwa dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make wewe laugh! wewe can take failed pictures your self...
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Hey,it's werewolflover.you seemed to like my other makala like this so here's another one.I hope wewe enjoy and please rate and comment.
#1 sit in your front yard and every time someone walks kwa (even a dog) moo where they can hear.
#2 Have a chai party with Mr.Wiggles.If anyone wals kwa say "would wewe like to jiunge us?"
#3 scream at everyone to hide because the pink fuzzy bananas are taking over the world.
#4 go to a park/any large grassy area where people are,sit down and scream.
#5 Start coughing and then say "sorry my chipmunk,Fred was trying to get out of my stomach.Then say to Fred,be good au I'm taking your DS away.
I personally think my first one was better,but what do ya think?
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Go to a Miley Cyrus tamasha with an obsessed Twilight Fangirl, and go up on stage with her in the middle of the tamasha and talk about Edward Cullen (fangirl au not). Make sure wewe both wear My Chemical Romance T-Shirts.

2. Make a gossip magazine write about a Joe Jonas and Robert Patterson scandal.

3. Tell Selena Gomez au Demi Lovato that they're bad role models.

4. Diss Selena Gomez's fasion style.

5. Bring Marilyn Manson and Gene Simmons (both with makeup) to the set of Sonny With A Chance.

6. Compare Joe Jonas's koti, jacket in "Burnin Up" and a The Black Parade jacket. Farmiliar?

7. Morph Miley...
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