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posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the inayofuata on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't wewe take a kiti, kiti cha and I will get wewe something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some chakula with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the orodha and removed his name from the juu of the orodha and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he alisema to the guy, "Because wewe have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the orodha ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much wewe try!!
posted by Seanthehedgehog

An Imperial landing craft was leaving Coruscant. However, no Imperials were inside. It was only two men from the Republic.

Republic Pilot: *Looking at the clear sky. No other ships are seen as they are out of Coruscant*
Colonel Turner: *Walks up, and sits inayofuata to the pilot* Thirty five minutes. Can we make it?
Republic Pilot: We can make it. Will your Marafiki make it?
Colonel Turner: Let's hope so.

Song: link

John made it back to the shed with Morris, Mary, and Cartwright where Heidi was waiting in the speeder bus.

Heidi: *Puts up a jammer, and turns it on*
John: *Starts the speeder bus,...
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posted by TheLefteris24
 Praise Kek!
Praise Kek!
Heed those words Mortals and set yourselves free!

There is no peace, there is PEPE
There is no fear, there is Shadilay(Peace be upon him).
There is no death, there is God Emperor.
There is no weakness, there is the MEMES.

I am the moyo of darkness.
I know no fear.
But rather I instil it in my enemies.
I am the destroyer of worlds.
I know the power of the MEMES.
I am the moto of hate.

All the universe bows before kek.
I pledge myself to kek.
For I have found true life In the death of SocJus.

Peace is a lie, there is only Kek.
Through passion, I gain salt.
Through Shadilay(Peace be upon him), I gain power.
Through power, I gain Lulz.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The MEMES shall set me free.

Preached kwa the Enlightened Prophet known as ''The Turbo Syncretist''. The truth has been spoken! Know
T
h
e

C
o
d
e

o
f

K
e
K

Praise Kek !!!!
 KEK WILLS IT!
KEK WILLS IT!
posted by twinklestar11
My inayopendelewa singer/raper is Bars and Melody. They began singing/rapping July 2014. At that time I had no idea who they were till 2016. People don't like them, but i dont know why. Maybe cuz those people dont like rapping au listening to young kid bands. They rapper is Leondre who started rapping when he was 13. People say it was 14, but the Bars and Melody song was relased in July and Leondre's birthday is in October so he was accully 13 when he started. The singer is Charlie. Charlie was imba when he was 15. His birthday is also in October. They are no longer 13 and 15. Leondre is now 16...
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 Episode 3 has arrived!
Episode 3 has arrived!
Welcome back again mates! In case wewe missed the first episode, here's a quick recap of what this makala series is all about.

In the first episode, the debut of this show, I thought up five crazy and bila mpangilio scenarios that I thought would make for entertainingly cringy headlines for Newspapers and/or YouTube videos, and asked wewe all for ideas in the maoni section below! That's also how this onyesha has been running since Episode 2, so if wewe like this series, then don't forget to shabiki and leave a maoni below on what wewe guys and gals want me to create in the inayofuata episode!

And with that being...
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How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the Queen of sarcasm, wewe don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"


What's an appropriate site for a 13 mwaka old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"


Can wewe get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"


Why are babies ugly at first?
"How about you...
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added by Mollymolata
added by ace2000
posted by Canada24
#1:
Critic: So our story begins when they spot two children who, wewe guessed it, stopped caring.
Friend Bear: Hi. I'm Friend Bear, and this is Secret Bear. We're Care Bears. (both stand up and pose)
Jason: (in disgusted tone) What do wewe want?
Friend Bear: Only to be your friends.
NC (vo): Actually, I always wondered what counted as quote/unquote "Caring." I mean, if I'm ordering a pizza with a friend, is it like...
[Cuts to skit with two NCs talking to each other]
NC 1: Hey, what kind of toppings wewe want?
NC 2: Eh, I don't care. (In panicked tone) No, no, wait! I didn't mea- (sparkling effects sound...
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Welcome to my complete character index! Basically, over the years I've made up a lot of either my own characters, au added existing ones from shows and whatnot for the sake of entertainment and imagination.

And in this one, you'll see all of them from A-Z, as well as their history. So without further ado, let's get this night off right!

AnimuLuvr21


First Appearance: A siku In The Life Of A fanpop User


(The character above is Konata Izumi from Lucky Star)

A character I made in one of my skit articles, and I do plan on using her in zaidi articles, as long as the context fits well.

Personality is...
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added by 0YouCanFly0
1-Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper au self-confidence.
(Robert Frost)

2-The roots of education are uchungu, chungu but the matunda is sweet.
(Aristotle)

3-Education is the most powerful weapon which wewe can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)

4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)

5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)

6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)

7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
When a guy flirts with other women.while out with his girl, it. may be he is just trying to be funny and charming au seem polite. au he may secretly be feeling insecure. Maybe he fears his gal is still.into her ex, au worries she may be seeing simeone else besides him. He wont come out and say his fears, so rather he tries to appear zaidi of a stud flirting with ladies. What he may not realize is this drives a gal away and makes her feel unimportant. How would a guy like it if a gal behaved that way toward him? Does anyone have any suggestions how to deal with this obnoxious male behavior? Does a gal call him out on it? au simply walk away, as I did from a guy I loved a lot, and not call him out on it, just simply tell him, "You hurt me."?
posted by deathding
 Let's do this.
Let's do this.
-When I go off to a restaurant/store and the lines are longer than the amazon River

-When I'm hungry/thirsty but am too lazy to do anything about it

-Doing the same chores every siku of the week

-Waking up when I'm REALLY tired

-40% of the current generation for being senseless jerks with little to no knowledge of courtesy au grammar

-When someone spoils a movie I wanted to see

-When I bite my tongue/lip

-Random black-outs that interrupt EVERYTHING

-When I go somewhere just to find out that it's been closed for an hour

-Being forced to go somewhere when I REALLY don't want to

-School Days, both the anime...
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posted by Canada24
#10: LUCY:
I haven't actually seen this movie, but somebody told me how stupid the ending is.
Lucy reaches 100% of her cerebral capacity and disappears within the spacetime continuum, where she explains that everything is connected and existence is only proven through time. Only her clothes and the black supercomputer are left behind.
And she herself suddenly disappears into thin air.
leaving only a text, saying, "I AM EVERYWHERE!".
It's bad enough Hellsing Ultmate pulled that line..

#9: TWO AND A HALF MEN:
I upendo this show, but it become less and less maarufu after Charlie left. And the producers...
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I wanted to include some of my inayopendelewa disturbing events in history. This is only a brief overview of the events, I encourage wewe to go research them yourselves. I intentionally included a lot of the lesser known events in history.

0, Ant-walking alligator people of Hiroshima
I know this is an old makala that probably no one goes to anymore, but I have something I need to take off my mind. I am a little hard to disturb when it comes to military history, but this... I've been struggling with it all morning. I'll just say this, don't look it up, don't look for the pictures, save yourself the...
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posted by chrystea
wewe will need an object(you can carry),a yellow au white candle and pure honey(essencial).
note:this spell can be casted any time,any day.
okay,step one;light the candle and hold it in your left hand.
step2;put a little honey in your mouth(don't swallow)get a pitch of honey on the object,hold the object in your right hand,close your eyes and chant"i call upon the the dark god of magick to protect me from all negative energies and forces that may come my way,may this be my magic wand to make my wish come true so mote it be.
open your eyes,put the wand in the candle fire, let it burn for a dakika then after that use the honey to quench fire,BING BANG BOOM! it's done!have fun.
added by 3xZ
1: Step Brothers:
The comedic duo of Will Farrell And John C. Riely, take wewe on a ride as they protray two dimwits who still act like their 14..

2: Dumb and Dumber:
It's amazing to think Jeff Danials is usually a serious actor.
He and Carrey make a perfect pair.
As Jeff dose his best to match with Carrey's, almost childlike, slapstick comedy he became famish for.
Though. Sadly this series ALSO proves how WRONG it is, to have different actors, it only succeeds in "ruining everything"..

3: Anchorman:
Will and Carol are both at their prime in this movie.
And wewe often find yourself repeating EVERY line...
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posted by Directioner3300
Once there was a ghost named Specter and he was very lonely.He had no Marafiki au anymore family members.
He was really upset.So one siku he floated outside just to have a nice look at the scenery when all of a sudden he saw another ghost.
She was floating close to Specter and Specter was very happy!
The femlae ghost introduced herself (Spirit) and Specter did the same.
They both floated around happily in the air holding hands.
Then Specter invited Spirit to his house.
After that they alisema goodnight to each other and became fast friends.
The inayofuata siku Specter and Spirit went flaoting around at the park.When they were floating around Specter asked Spirit if she'd like to be his girlfriend.
So she yes and Specter was delighted!
So now that Specter has somebody in his life he was no longer upset au lonely.He found someone who loved him.
The End