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posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

wewe call your victim and wewe want to confuse them. No laughing au anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my Marafiki do this a lot.


Script:
wewe call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do wewe want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is wewe who is calling me. Ok, so what did wewe need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. wewe called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! wewe are the one who called me! Now i ask one zaidi time who are wewe and why did wewe call my at this time of day/night?
Person: What???? Okay I'm going to hang up now. Bye.
You: Ok bye.

(Call same person again)

Person: Hello?
You: Hello? Who is this?
Person: Who are you? (or he might say ITS wewe AGAIN)
You: Oh My Gosh stop calling me!
Person: No, wewe stop calling ME! I did not call you.
You: Oh yes wewe did, and stop calling me!
*Hang up*
(A dakika later, call same person and make it up as wewe go au say the same thing until the person gets annoyed. LOL)





DEALING WITH TELEMARKETERS:
[Fake Robbery/Shooting Prank]
When a campaigner au telemarketer calls you, listen to what they have to say then stop them midsentence. Tell them, "Could wewe hang on a second, I think there's somebody at my door." Set the phone down and pretend to answer the door. Then yell in the background, "Who are you?! Get outta my house!!" Try to make it sound like a struggle is taking place and then pop a paper bag inayofuata to the phone. Start to scream and fall, then pop a sekunde paper bag and go silent. wewe will hear them saying. "Oh my God!! Sir?! Are wewe alright?! Oh my God!!" At this point, either hang up au pick up the phone and say, "So what are wewe doin' tonight?"
Another idea is, wewe could call a place like Nintendo (I've included the number below) and ask them how to fix a problem with your Wii, then stop the representative midsentence and start the prank.



When a telemarketer calls you, act really interested in what they have to say, but stop them midsentence and say "Well look, I'm really interested in what wewe have to say, but I'm kind of busy right now so could I have your nyumbani number and give wewe a call later?" They will explain to wewe that they cannot give out their personal information. Say to them "Oh, I understand, because wewe don't want to have people bothering wewe at nyumbani right?" When they tell wewe that that is the reason say "Good, well now wewe know how I feel." And hang up.



PRANKING NEIGHBORS/FRIENDS:
[Return of an old friend]
This prank works especially well if wewe have a phonebook au neighborhood directory. Pick out a target and have their address ready. Call them and pretend to be a long Lost high school friend. For example, if their name is Debby say, "Hi Debby! It's Lisa Meyers from high school!" Act nice to them and ask them how life is going and where life took them after high school. If they don't sound convinced, then say something like, "So are wewe still over there on Coldspring Lane?" au whatever mitaani, mtaa they live on. Then, try to arrange a place to have lunch to catch up on old times. Me and a friend did this prank once and it turned out that the lady we picked actually knew a lady named Lisa Meyers. We got to the point where we were arranging a place to eat lunch when she realized that she had the wrong Lisa Meyers.

USING PEOPLE'S NAMES TO MESS WITH THEM
[The Poor Residence]
Me: Hi is Mr. Poor there?
Mrs. Poor: No he's not, could I take a message?
Me: Nah, I was just wondering if he was poor like his name said.
Mrs. Poor: ... wewe know what buddy, wewe can kiss my @$$!

(The inayofuata Day)
Me: Hi is Mr. Poor available?
Mrs. Poor: No, can I take a message?\
Me: No, I was just wondering if he was poor like his name says.
Mrs. Poor: Alright wewe little motherf#cker, wewe look up this address and come see this house and you'll find out how poor we are!

(The siku after that)
Me: Hi is Mr. Poor available?
Mr. Poor: Speaking.
Me: Hi, I was just wondering if wewe were poor like your name said.
Mr. Poor: No... wewe need to stop callin' here, okay?
Me: No.

[The Cook Residence]
Me: Hi is there a Cook available?
Miss Cook: Speaking.
Me: Good cus I'm starving!

[The Culpepper Residence]
Me: Hi is this the Culpepper residence?
Mrs. Culpepper: Yes.
Me: Well then can I talk to Dante?
Mrs. Culpepper: F#ck you.



SOME OTHER IDEAS:
[Hi, can I talk to Jeremy?]
This prank works best if wewe cna disguise your voice au wewe have a lot of people with you. Call a bila mpangilio number and ask for Jeremy. The person there will tell wewe that wewe have the wrong number. Wait a few dakika and have a different person call back and ask for Jeremy. Repeat this process until they get really pissed off. Finally, have somebody call them and say "Hi, this is Jeremy. I was expecting to get a lot of calls today but I realized that I accidently gave my Marafiki this number." Their reaction will be hilarious.

[Information]
This is a pretty simple prank. But anyway, call 411 and ask how to get to Sesame street. I think calling information is free if wewe call from a landline but when I dial 411 on my cell phone I get charged $1.49 every time, so be careful!

[Bob from the Bubble factory]
This is a good prank if wewe want to annoy somebody. call them up and say "Hi! I'm Bob from the Bubble Factory, and I saw bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles..." Until they hang up. Then, call back and as it's ringing say, "and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles..." so when they answer they will hear it from the start. Repeat until wewe are satisfied.



[An Old Classic Redone]
Call somebody and say "Hi! Is your refidgerator running?" They might laugh and think 'Oh I know this one.' So they will say "No." When they say 'no,' say to them "Oh, well this is Sears nyumbani Repair Service, we'll be right over!"



[Random Baby Prank]
Another simple prank that can produce hilarious results. Call somebody and ask them how babies are made. I know how simple it is, but I've gotten some hilarious reactions out of people with these.

Prank call someone and when they answer just start yelling ME CASA ES FUEGO ! ME CASA ES FUEGO!
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bila mpangilio
muziki
song
funny
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added by ShadowFan100
(Songs and commentary will be listed after the poem. Enjoy!)

1-Welcome to your life,
2-Burning red and honestly.
3-How pure the darkness,
4-If wewe ignore the terminology.

5-Your toxic stare,
6-Up against the wall.
7-Now that you're gone forever,
8-You're just a know it all.

9-I used to roll the dice,
10-Like as not it's better so.
11-This is my curse,
12-I've many zaidi miles to go.

13-I don't want to live another moment,
14-But can wewe see that I'm in real danger.
15-My legs are dangling off the edge,
16-Her eyes were eyes of a stranger.

17-So much for your promises,
18-The poison maua, ua comes uncurled.
19-Now...
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Source: Crescent karatasi la kupamba ukuta
#1:
Elizabeth: I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard. I'm sorry to upset your plans, but...
Elizabeth's Father: Plans did wewe say? My one and only plan, dear girl, is to see wewe as happy as possible, and I would never dream of forcing wewe to do something wewe don't want to.
Critic:(as Elizabeth's father) Unless it was the beginning of the movie in which case I alisema wewe had no choice.
Critic: (as a scene of Elizabeth and her father hugging plays) Seriously, what did she do different? She made the same argument she did before. In fact, it's actually less angry. Are wewe honestly telling...
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added by australia-101