life alert:
a guy is lying on the ground.
the guy:help, I've fallen an i can't get up! *stands up* i can't get up! *walks around* i can't get up! *runs around* i can't get up! *looks at the camera and talks in an angry voice* i can't get up! i can't get up! buy this crap so they'll pay me! *walks away*
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hotel/resort:
a guy is at a beach.
the guy:this place if awesome! all the kids upendo it!
(a kid drags himself towards the guy, covered in blood)
kid:i wanna go home. my everything hurts.
the guy:shut your mouth! *kicks the kid and walks away* we have the best refreshments.
(a woman in the background walks up to him)
woman:excuse me, there was a bone in my smoothie. also my husband died from poison in the beer.
the guy:NO REFUNDS! *pushes the woman down* anyways come here today.
(the whole place is blown up kwa a nuke and a guy in a toxic suit comes in) now less people will die.