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juu 17 Signs Your Airline Attendant is About Ready to Retire

17. Always grumbling about how things were much simpler when Orville and Wilbur ran the business.

16. For dinner, asks, "Ya want the white crap au the yellow crap?"

15. When pointing to the emergency exits, uses nothin' but her middle finger.

14. Occasionally tries to prop-start a 747.

13. Insists on inaonyesha wewe pictures of her prom tarehe with Bob Dole.

12. Loudly refers to pilot and co-pilot as "Opie" and "The Beav."

11. At the security checkpoint, her hip sets off the metal detector.

10. Replaces in-flight movie with racy story about how he and Amelia Earhart founded the Mile High Club.

9. As passengers deplane, forgets to say "bye" and just stands there saying "buh... buh... buh... buh... buh... buh..."

8. No matter what wewe order, she serves up a nice warm glass of Bosco.

7. After demonstrating the oxygen mask, needs to keep it on.

6. Matches entire business class shot for shot.

5. Uses false teeth to prevent the chakula gari from rolling down the aisle.

4. Breaks wind so forcefully that the oxygen masks drop.

3. Requests that passengers refrain from using electronic devices such as Wurlitzers, Victrolas, and telegraphs.

2. Excitedly announces that the in-flight movie will be a "talkie."

1. Keeps getting Lost on the way to the cockpit.
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posted by zutaradragon
    Police are investigating a moto at a local school building, which was full of what are now dead children and teachers. au at least, presumed dead, as no bodies have actually been found. There was only one person left: a seemingly deranged babbling female teacher speaking of a giant blob, of sorts. The police instantly dismissed her ramblings as those of a traumatized and stressed mind and went back to work. Their investigation turned up large amounts of sulfur, which was very odd and completely unexplained. Most dismissed it, saying that the science labs must have just...
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