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posted by patrisha727
A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of Candy per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each mwaka on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix chakula to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams in a six-ounce cup of cocoa, 5 to 10 milligrams in one ounce of bittersweet chocolate, and 5 milligrams in one ounce of maziwa chocolate.

California's Frank Epperson invented the Popsicle in 1905 when he was 11-years-old.

Capsaicin, which makes hot peppers "hot" to the human mouth, is best neutralized kwa casein, the main protein found in milk.

Cast iron skillets used to be the leading chanzo of iron in the American diet!

China's Beijing bata Restaurant can kiti, kiti cha 9,000 people at one time.

chokoleti contains phenyl ethylamine (PEA), a natural substance that is reputed to stimulate the same reaction in the body as falling in love.

World wide, consumers spend zaidi than $7 billion a mwaka on chocolate. Annual per capita consumption of chokoleti is 12 pounds per person.

Each American eats an average of 51 pounds of chokoleti per year.

Fortune kuki, vidakuzi were invented in 1916 kwa George Jung, a Los Angeles noodle maker.

Fried chicken is the most maarufu meal ordered in sit-down restaurants in the US. The inayofuata in popularity are: roast beef, spaghetti, turkey, baked ham, and fried shrimp.

Goulash, a beef soup, originated in Hungary in the 9th century AD.

Haggis, the national dish of Scotland: take the heart, liver, lungs, and small intestine of a ndama au sheep, boil them in the stomach of the animal, season with salt, pepper and onions, add suet and oatmeal. Enjoy!

Hostess Twinkies were invented in 1931 kwa James Dewar, manager of Continental Bakeries' Chicago factory. He envisioned the product as a way of using the company's thousands of shortcake pans which were otherwise employed only during the strawberry season. Originally called Little shortcake Fingers, they were renamed Twinkie Fingers, and finally "Twinkies."

In 1860, 'Godey's Lady's Book' advised US women to cook tomatoes for at least 3 hours.

In 1926, when a Los Angeles restaurant owner with the all-American name of Bob Cobb was looking for a way to use up leftovers, he threw together some avocado, celery, tomato, chives, watercress, hard-boiled eggs, chicken, bacon, and Roquefort cheese, and named it after himself: Cobb salad.

In 1995, KFC sold 11 pieces of chicken for every man, woman and child in the US.

In an authentic Chinese meal, the last course is supu because it allows the roast bata entree to "swim" toward digestion.

In the United States, a pound of potato chips costs two hundred times zaidi than a pound of potatoes.

Irish cream and Hazelnut are the most maarufu whole maharage, maharagwe coffee flavorings.

Large doses of coffee can be lethal. Ten grams, au 100 cups over 4 hours, can kill the average human.

Laws forbidding the sale of sodas on Sunday prompted William Garwood to invent the ice cream sundae in Evanston, IL, in 1875.

Mayonnaise is alisema to be the invention of the French chef of the Duke de Richelieu in 1756. While the Duke was defeating the British at Port Mahon, his chef was creating a victory feast that included a sauce made of cream and eggs. When the chef realized that there was no cream in the kitchen, he improvised, substituting mizeituni, mzeituni oil for the cream. A new culinary masterpiece was born, and the chef named it "Mayonnaise" in honor of the Duke's victory.

McDonald's "Big Mac" slogan, introduced in 1975, is: "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun."

McDonalds and Burger King sugar-coat their fries so they will turn golden-brown.

Nabisco's "Oreo's" are the world's best-selling brand of cookie at a rate of 6 billion sold each year. The first Oreo was sold in 1912.

Per capita, the Irish eat zaidi chokoleti than Americans, Swedes, Danes, French, and Italians.

Persians first began using colored eggs to celebrate spring in 3,000 B.C. 13th century Macedonians were the first Christians on record to use colored eggs in Easter celebrations. Crusaders returning from the Middle East spread the custom of coloring eggs, and Europeans began to use them to celebrate Easter and other warm weather holidays.

Potato chips are American's inayopendelewa snack food. They are devoured at a rate of 1.2 billion pounds a year.

Potato chips were invented in Saratoga Springs in 1853 kwa chef George Crum. They were a mocking response to a patron who complained that his French fries were too thick.

Refried beans aren't really what they seem. Although their name seems like a reasonable translation of Spanish frijoles refritos, the fact is that these beans aren't fried twice. In Spanish, refritos literally means "well-fried," not "re-fried."

Research onyesha that only 43% of homemade dinners served in the US include vegetables.

mchele is the staple chakula of zaidi than one-half of the world's population.

Saffron, made from the dried stamens of cultivated crocus flowers, is the most expensive cooking spice.

Since Hindus don't eat beef, the McDonald's in New Delhi makes its burgers with mutton.

Sliced mkate was introduced under the Wonder mkate label in 1930.

tequila, tekila is made from the root of the blue agave cactus.

Swiss Steak, Chop Suey, Russian Dressing, and a Hamburger all originated in the US.

The Agen plum which would become the basis of the US prune industry was first planted in California in 1856.

The average child will eat 1,500 PB sandwiches kwa high school graduation.

The California zabibu and wine industries were started kwa Count Agoston Haraszthy de Moksa, who planted Tokay, Zinfandel, and Shiras varieties from his native Hungary in Buena Vista in 1857.

The color of a chile is no indication of its spiciness, but size usually is - the smaller the pepper, the hotter it is.

The daughter of confectioner Leo Hirschfield is commemorated in the name of the sweet he invented: Although his daughter's real name was Clara, she went kwa the nickname Tootsie, and in her honor, her doting father named his chewy chokoleti logs Tootsie Rolls.

The difference between apple juisi and apple cider is that the juisi is pasteurized and the cider is not.

The dye used to stamp the grade on meat is edible. It's made from zabibu skins.

The English word "soup" comes from the Middle Ages word "sop," which means a slice of mkate over which roast drippings were poured. The first archaeological evidence of supu being consumed dates back to 6000 B.C., with the main ingredient being Hippopotamus bones!

The first ring donuts were produced in 1847 kwa a 15 mwaka old baker's apprentice, Hanson Gregory, who knocked the soggy center out of a fried doughnut.

The FDA allows an average of 30 au zaidi insect fragments and one au zaidi rodent hairs per 100 grams of karanga butter.

The fungus called truffles can cost $800 to $1,500 per pound. They are sniffed out kwa female pigs, which detect a compound that is in the saliva of male pigs as well. The same chemical is found in the sweat of human males.

The hamburger was invented in 1900 kwa Louis Lassen. He ground beef, broiled it, and served it between two pieces of toast.

The hottest pepper in the world is the Habanero.

The ice cream soda was invented in 1874 kwa Robert Green. He was serving a mixture of syrup, sweet cream and carbonated water at a celebration in Philadelphia. He ran out of cream and substituted ice cream.

The largest item on any menu in the world is probably the roast camel, sometimes served at Bedouin wedding feasts. The ngamia is stuffed with a sheep's carcass, which is stuffed with chickens, which are stuffed with fish, which are stuffed with eggs.

The Pillsbury Bake-off has been held every mwaka since 1948.

The pound cake got its name from the pound of siagi it contained.

The sandwich, sandwichi is named for the Fourth Earl of sandwich, sandwichi (1718-92), for whom sandwiches were made so that he could stay at the gambling meza, jedwali without interruptions for meals.

The white part of an egg is the albumen.

The vintage tarehe on a bottle of wine indicates the mwaka the grapes were picked, not the mwaka of bottling.

The white potato originated in the Andes mountains and was probably brought to Britain kwa Sir Francis drake about 1586.

The world's first chokoleti Candy was produced in 1828 kwa Dutch chocolate-maker Conrad J. van Houten. He pressed the fat from roasted cacao beans to produce kakao butter, to which he added kakao powder and sugar.

The world's costliest coffee, at $130 a pound , is called Kopi Luwak. It is in the droppings of a type of marsupial that eats only the very best coffee beans. Plantation workers track them and scoop their precious poop.

The world's deadliest uyoga is the Amanita phalloides, the death cap. The five different poisons contained kwa the uyoga cause diarrhea and vomiting within 6 to 12 hours of ingestion. This is followed kwa damage to the liver, kidneys, and central nervous system - and, in the majority of cases, coma and death.

To determine the percentage of alcohol in a bottle of liquor divide the proof kwa two.

van Camp's Pork and Beans were a staple chakula for Union soldiers in the Civil War.

Vanilla is the extract of fermented and dried pods of several species of orchids.

When honey is swallowed, it enters the blood stream within a period of 20 minutes.

When Swiss cheese ferments, a bacterial action generates gas. As the gas is liberated, it bubbles through the cheese leaving holes. Cheese-makers call them "eyes."
Miss Carey: Hello, Allex! Come in!
Allex: Hi! What's happening here?
Mady: It's drama club.
Miss Carey: Come and jiunge us!
Allex: Ok. What are wewe doing?
Ed: We're putting on a play.
Allex: Really? Can i be in it? I like acting.
Nicki: He's a really good actor, Miss Carey.
Miss Carey: Excellent!
Allex: What's the play?
Mady: It's The Ugly Duckling.
Allex: Oh... That's for little children.
Mady: Yes, we're doing it for kindergarten.
Nicki: It's fun!
Ed: I'm the kind man.
Mady: I'm the kind man's doughter.
Alex: What about me?
Miss Carey: You, Alex, can be the ugly duckling.
posted by shutyourface
don't worry this makala is not about kondoo au bananas it is about a zaidi serious matter.

this is a debate and i want everyone kusoma this
uandishi a maoni about what wewe think is write au wrong
ok?

so anyway

here i go


what came first

the egg

au the chicken?

thats my debate and i want EVERYONE who's a shabiki
of bila mpangilio to write what they think is right


and become a shabiki of me and become a shabiki of my
article

and remember

what came first
the egg
au the chicken

i am only doing this because i have been
wondering that for ages
EPISODE ONE:

Spike: [snoring]

Twilight: Let's go through this one zaidi time.

Rainbow Dash: [sighs] We've been over it like a million times, Twilight! We found all six keys, defeated Tirek, and got this sweet castle! End of story!

Twilight: Yes, but why?

Applejack: I dunno, sugarcube. Maybe it's just your new house and there ain't nothin' zaidi to it than that.

Rarity: I must say, speaking strictly on aesthetics, there really doesn't need to be zaidi to it. It's all simply divine!

Fluttershy: I agree with Twilight. And Rarity. And Applejack. And upinde wa mvua Dash. And Pinkie Pie. Oh, and probably Spike.

Spike:...
continue reading...
SEASON 3;

[shades closing]

[windows clattering]

Fluttershy: Fuzzy Legs, do wewe think wewe could secure those windows?

[webs shooting]

[windows close]

Fluttershy: And you'll alert me if anything scary comes close to the cottage?

[birds squawk]

Fluttershy: Oh, who am I kidding?... It's WHEN something scary comes close to the cottage! Please tell me my hiding place is ready.

Harry: [growls nicely]

Fluttershy: Oh, look, you've filled it with everything I need to survive this awful night. Thank you. Thank wewe all! Now I don't have to step a hoof outside until this whole thing is over.

[bucket clattering]

Fluttershy:...
continue reading...
added by pinkbloom
added by MeiMisty
added by Gretulee
added by Gretulee
added by 3xZ
added by mina27
added by TimberHumphrey
video
posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys upendo flirts.
3. A guy can like wewe for a minute, and then forget wewe afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are wewe doing something?" au "Have wewe eaten already?" are the first usual maswali a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all siku but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
continue reading...
DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And onyesha me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And wewe upendo it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
onyesha me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And kumeza it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar wewe grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something au someone

3. Go up to a bila mpangilio person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki bila mpangilio noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a kisima, chemchemi run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to wewe in public about the...
continue reading...
1. At the movies: When wewe meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are wewe doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t wewe try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When wewe ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
continue reading...
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious makala on pcworld.com
Don't know who the mwandishi is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's nyara Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a nenosiri other than "password" au "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits inayofuata to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be zaidi imaginative.

I will not bore my boss kwa with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some zaidi excuses.

I will do less laundry and use zaidi deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The onyesha was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids onyesha that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The onyesha had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my inayopendelewa parts of the onyesha was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
continue reading...