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posted by patrisha727
celery has negative calories. It takes zaidi calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

In eighteenth-century English gambling dens, there was an employee whose only job was to kumeza the dice if there was a police raid.

The human tongue tastes uchungu, chungu things with the taste buds toward the back. Salty and pungent flavors are tasted in the middle of the tongue, sweet flavors at the tip.

A sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour.

It is impossible to sneeze and keep one's eyes open at the same time.

In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.

In the Balanta tribe of Africa, a bride remained married until her wedding kanzu, gown was worn out. If she wanted a divorce after 2 weeks, all she had to do was rip up her dress. This was the custom until about 20 years ago, anyway.

Marie de Medici, a member of that famous Italian family and a 17th-century Queen of France, had expensive tastes in clothes. One special dress was outfitted with 39,000 tiny pearls and 3,000 diamonds, and cost the equivalent of $20 million at the time it was made in 1606. She wore it once.

Here is the literal translation of one of the standard traffic signs in China. It reads: "Give large space to the festive dog that makes sport in the roadway."

In 1968, a convention of beggars in Dacca, India, passed a resolution demanding that "the minimum amount of alms be fixed at 15 paisa (three cents)." The convention also demanded that the interval between when a person hears a knock at his front door and when he offers alms should not exceed 45 seconds.

A law passed in Nebraska in 1912 really set down some hard rules of the road. Drivers in the country at night were required to stop every 150 yards, send up a skyrocket, then wait eight dakika for the road to clear before proceeding cautiously, all the while blowing their horn and shooting off flares.

Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if wewe ever find yourself chased kwa one, run in a zigzag line. You'll lose him au her every time.

In 1500 B.C. in Egypt a shaved head was considered the ultimate in feminine beauty.

Egyptian women removed every hair from their heads with special dhahabu tweezers and polished their scalps to a high sheen with buffing cloths.

In ancient China and certain parts of India, panya, kipanya meat was considered a great delicacy.
In ancient Greece, where the panya, kipanya was sacred to Apollo, mice were sometimes devoured kwa temple priests.

In 1400 B.C. it was the fashion among rich Egyptian women to place a large cone of scented grease on juu of their heads and keep it there all day. As the siku wore on, the grease melted and dripped down over their bodies, covering their skin with an oily, glistening sheen and bathing their clothes in fragrance.

In the United States, a pound of potato chips cost two hundred times zaidi than a pound of potatoes.

Half the foods eaten throughout the world today were developed kwa farmers in the Andes Mountains.

Potatoes, maize, sweet potatoes, squash, all varieties of beans, peanuts, manioc, papayas, strawberries, mulberries and many other foods were first grown in this region.

Blue whales weigh as much as 30 elephants and are as long as three Greyhound buses.

According to tests made at the Institute for the Study of Animal Problems in Washington, D.C., mbwa and cats, like people, are either right-handed au left-handed--that is, they favor either their right au left paws.

A person cannot taste chakula unless it is mixed with saliva.

According to acupuncturists, there is a point on the head that wewe can press to control your appetite. It is located in the hollow just in front of the flap of the ear.

Tibetans, Mongolians, and people in parts of western China put salt in their chai instead of sugar.

In 1976, a Los Angeles secretary named Jannene mwepesi, teleka officially married a 50-pound rock. The ceremony was witnessed kwa zaidi than 20 people.

In the early 19th century the words "trousers" and "pants" were considered obscene in England.

There is approximately one chicken for every human being in the world.

The first automobile race ever seen in the United

States was held in Chicago in 1895. The track ran from Chicago to Evanston, Illinois. The winner was J. Frank Duryea, whose average speed was 7 miles per hour.

In the memoirs of Catherine II of Russia, it is recorded that any Russian aristocrat who displeased the Queen was forced to squat in the great antechamber of the palace and to remain in that position for several days, mewing like a cat, clucking like a hen, and pecking his chakula from the floor.

The outdoor temperature can be estimated to within several degrees kwa timing the chirps of a cricket. It is done this way: count the number of chirps in a 15-second period, and add 37 to the total. The result will be very close to the actual Fahrenheit temperature. This formula only works in warm weather.

During a severe windstorm au rainstorm the Empire State Building may sway several feet to either side.

In Elizabethan England the spoon was such a novelty, such a prized rarity, that people carried their own folding spoons to banquets.

In "Gulliver's Travels," Jonathan mwepesi, teleka described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this zaidi than 100 years before either moon was discovered.

It costs zaidi to buy a new car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to and from the New World.

One-fourth of the world's population lives on less than $200 a year. Ninety million people survive on less than $75 a year.

Butterflies taste with their hind feet.
These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, wewe need it down. wewe don't hear us
complaining about wewe leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what wewe want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable majibu to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you...
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The city of San Francisco is asking Kulbir Dhaliwal, who was attacked kwa a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on krisimasi siku 2007, to reimburse them over $75,000 for the city-funded medical care he received after the mauling.
Cold viruses can survive on objects like telephones and railings for up to three hours.
More suicides occur in the Grand Canyon than in any other national park.
There are zaidi bacteria in the ice machines at fast chakula restaurants than in toilet bowl water.
Alcohol-related traffic fatalities are zaidi than twice as common on New Year's Eve as other midweek winter evenings.
Two...
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posted by Feathershine
1. When their watching TV get in their way and say "I'm in your way!! Im in your way!!"
2. Say "beep, beep beep..." until they snap
3. Call them on their cell phone when their out on a tarehe au something, and in a weird voice say "Hello?! Can I send u a box of waffles" (LOL I don't know)
4. When their sleeping take a bottle of water and wake them up kwa dumping it on them and saying "Sorry! I came to bring it for u to drink, I didn't realize it slipped"
5. If wewe have a dog au cat (that DON'T sleep with your parents) dump him/her when there asleep
6. When wewe spill any liquid blame it on the gods
7....
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1.find something old and breakable and go up to a apartment au building au highest floor in your house and open a window and estimate how long it will take that thing to hit the groung then throw it out the the window and cout how many seconds/minutes it takes to hit the ground really.
2.go to wal-mart,enough said
3.go outside and try to sell a old stuffed animal on a leash to people who look important to society,like hobos
4.go to your neighbors and tell them they need to stop the rucus and to shut up your trying to sleep even if its the middle of the siku and they arent making any noise
5.go to...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by ciaraluvsjustin
1.Bring a pillow.Fall asleep[or pretend to]until the last 15 minutes.Wake up,say"Oh Geez,better get cracking"and do some gibberish work.Turn it in a few dakika early
2.Get a copy of the exam,run out screaming "Andre Andre I've got the secret documents!!"
3.If it is a math/science exam,answer in essay form.If it is a long answer/essay form answer in numbers au symbols.Be creative.
4.Make paper airplanes out of the exam.Throw them at the instructors left nostril.
5.Talk the entire way through the exam.Read maswali out loud,debate your majibu with yourself out loud.If asked to stop, yell out"I'M...
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posted by jblovesme4ever
[]miley cyrus the girl who many of whom look up to but why[
resons to hate her(feel free to add zaidi on comments)

1)[]her music]: she doesnt write it on her own and her newest song untamed wow the part where she says I GO THOUGHT BOYS LIKE MONEY:and the only good song she has is the climb: and that is not saying much!!!:patry in the usa wow that is the s&^%$#@ muziki vidio i have seen it a while

2)money: the only reson she is here is bcus she wants money: she has to get payed to do chairty events:and she is always just talking about it to

3)she doesnt care about her fans: she may say she doese...
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posted by deathchick9
Over the many years of pikachu,if wewe look closely Pikachu has been getting thinner and thinner.When it started he was this cute,fat little chunk of Pokemon,but now he's a skinny little freak.Which can only me one thing....Ash has forced him to become bulimic!
*Dramatizations*
____________________________________
Ash:Jeez,Pikachu your so fat!

Pikachu:Pika?

________________________

Ash:Loose some weight wewe fat bastard!

Pikachu:Pika?!
_________________________________________

Ash:No stop eating!Your just gonna get fatter!

*Ash shoves his finger down pikachu's throat to make him vomit his chakula up.Pikachu...
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posted by melcu
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Marafiki in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours kwa hooking a camcorder, kamkoda to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal kwa conspicuously licking...
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posted by ihavOTD
 I am Anti- Miley because of this:
I am Anti- Miley because of this:
OH MY GOSH! I was just watching stupid HM and near the end, Miley and Lily started talking about-guess who? ROBERT PATTINSON. That's sick. here is their convo:(at least what though I heard)

" It's just sad that wewe can't find a bf..." Lily says.
" Yeah... Hey, I guess Hannah can tarehe Robert Pattinson!" Miley says
" Oh....Robert Pattinson is SO dreamy...."
Thats sickening Disney. I feel bad for Rob. He can't hide ANYWHERE...
Really, do wewe realize how crazy and gross a lot of mashabiki are???? Here is a gross makala about some crazed fans:

Robert Pattinson Approached kwa “Gross”, “Bleeding”...
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added by SheWolf11
Source: I DO NOT OWN THIS IMAGE
Similar to "30 Things To Do During An Exam." tafuta for it in this club, it's way funnier. Apologies if this orodha is a little outdated.

50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 dakika & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that wewe can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat...
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added by totoyo25
added by tdacrazy6
Source: Tumblr
posted by Bluekait
Example:

There's someone knockin' on my door

There in the shadows, looks like a hand

Come to the rescue now

Once there was a man who decided he knew everything

Life's been so good to me

I went to see what I could find

wewe never lived in the streets though wewe wish wewe had

I'm so sorry, please forgive me

Living in the sixth dimension

Over time I've come to feel

------------------------------------------------------------------

If wewe need help au another example for a better understanding, let me know.
added by CokeTheUmbreon
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Langley, West Virginia.

Commander Kane: *Walks up to Ted* How are the new watches coming out?
Ted: I think you'll be pleased with the work me, and Mabel did. kwa the way, how's Johnny doing?
Commander Kane: We found a replacement who's willing to use his name to protect his identity.

Sundsvall Sweden. Johnny Lightning was driving south on the Sundsvallbron. A bridge that was part of the E4 highway. His car was a shiny silver Alfa Romeo.

Johnny: *Smiling as he looks at himself in the rear view mirror. He then sees a red Nissan close to him*

The red car overtook him, and a black man pointed a MP7 at...
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 Yes wewe are.
Yes you are.
Good siku everyone.

I just wanted to quickly write this makala after thinking about it last night because I couldn't help but to feel the need to say something to everyone who is struggling with life.


Life is tough? yeah it fucking is man!! but guess what if your thoughts are stuck negatively wewe going nowhere in progress you'll only sink zaidi and zaidi into depression.


Even if wewe feel wewe couldn't!!!! get a grip and try a hundred times never give up.

It's impossible to go mbele without one strong step from you.

Somehow you'll manage, learn how to trick your brain into positive thinking it will...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
In the United Kingdom, a dark green Jaguar F-Type was chasing a Toyota Tundra.

British Agent: *Driving the F-Type* Goal Keeper, this is Chelsea. I'm in pursuit of the bandits.
MI6 Operator: Chelsea, this is Goal Keeper, we're tracking your progress so far. Don't let them escape with those plans.
British Agent: Roger sir. I won't let wewe down.
MI6 Clerk: *Walks towards the Operator* What plans did they steal from us?
MI6 Operator: Plans for a special motorcycle with a hang glider.
MI6 Clerk: *Looks at the Operator's computer screen* What's that to the right of Chelsea?
MI6 Operator: It looks like a...
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