1. Having to go around the room and say a fun fact about yourself. (And the moments spent waiting for your turn.

2. Someone tells wewe something that wewe already know because wewe Facebook stalked them, and wewe have to pretend it’s the first you’ve heard of it.

3. Having to poop in a crowded restroom.

4. AND people wewe know saw wewe go into the stall and will know it’s you.

5. Saying “hi” to someone as they pass but it comes out a whisper and they don’t hear you.


6. When you’re the last person to get passed the sign-up sheet in class and wewe have no idea what to do with it after wewe sign it.

7. Starting to say something in a conversation and then getting interrupted — twice.

8. Going to a party kwa yourself and having to hover near some other people talking and then conversation-bomb them because wewe have no one to talk to

9. Being seated at the quiet end of the meza, jedwali at a chajio, chakula cha jioni party and struggling to think of maswali to ask the two people inayofuata to you, while the loud end looks like they’re having A BALL.

10. When someone in real life brings up a tweet au status update wewe made.

11. Having to read a lease au contract in front of someone who’s waiting for wewe to sign it.

12. Having to stand just outside a mduara, duara of your Marafiki talking because there’s no room in the circle.

13. When you’re out with a friend and their friend who wewe don’t know comes up and starts talking to them, and wewe just stand there.