Is it possible to upendo someone that doesn’t really exist? Think about it. We do it all the time. A boy in high school sees a pretty girl on the other side of the classroom and imagines taking her to a rock concert. A girl dreams of a romantic picnic with the cute guy that just moved in across the street. These people might exist, but the way we visualize them is almost certainly wrong. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. Then, if we finally get to know these people that we’ve fantasized about, we’re crushed to learn that they are not who we thought they were. Why? Because, quite frankly, we never loved those people- we loved the people we dreamed about, and just used real peoples’ faces to make our fantasies seem zaidi real to us.

So, bearing this in mind, why do so many people seem to think that those of us who dare to admit that we are in upendo with fictional characters, why do people think we’re strange au pathetic au crazy? In real life, it’s very rare for anyone to actually meet someone who fulfills all our hopes and desires (tell me I’m wrong, and if wewe think I am, wait until your inayofuata break-up and then come back and tell me). But there are so many book and TV characters to choose from, and wewe don’t have to go through all the hell and heartbreak of rejection and break-ups and cheating lovers. And wewe don’t have to worry as much about what they’re doing when you’re not watching them. Through the magical lens of narrative storytelling, wewe can eventually see and hear everything your inayopendelewa character thinks, feels, and does. wewe can’t do that in real life, unless you’re some kind of a stalker (which, of course, you’re not). So wewe can’t know how they feel about wewe au what they do when you’re not around; and if, God forbid, they’re telling stories behind your back au making eyes at your sister without your seeing it, wewe may not know until it’s too late. But with a story character, wewe do know, and if wewe don’t know yet, you’ll probably be told eventually. And perhaps best of all, since there’s no physical bond- wewe can’t touch him, wewe can’t tell her your deepest inner feelings- if kwa some chance they should turn out to be not what wewe thought they were, it doesn’t hurt the way it would if wewe knew them and talked to them and touched them every day. And it makes it easier to switch from one lover to another- just songesha on to another TV au musician crush. None of the fuss and hassle and heartbreak of looking for someone and never finding anyone, and feeling as though you’re doomed to be alone forever.

As for the drawbacks… well, yes, it can be frustrating knowing that I can never actually know what it’s like to kiss the man I’m in upendo with, because he only exists on the TV screen. But on the other hand, whenever I need him, I know exactly where to find him, and he’s always there. To tell the truth, I think falling in upendo is much easier when the guy is not real than when he is.