1. Unplug the refrigerator.
2. Turn the tanuri, joko on.
3. Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4. Hide the remote.
5. Hide the television.
6. Hide the pets.
7. Change the answering machine message.
8. Turn off the answering machine.
9. Change the speed dial numbers.
10. Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11. Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12. Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13. Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14. See how much pay-per-view porn wewe can order in one day.
15. Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16. Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17. Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18. Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a picha of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19. Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20. Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21. Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22. Replace ukuta picha with picha of someone else's family.
23. Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24. Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25. Paint their bathrooms black.
26. Paint their mirrors black.
27. Paint their windows black.
28. Nail their windows shut.
29. Put a skeleton in a closet.
30. Stuff a mto with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31. Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32. Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33. Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34. Fill every glass in the jikoni cabinet with water. (They might not spill the sekunde au third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35. Turn off the phone ringers.
36. Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and televisheni volume set to maximum.
37. Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38. Grease the banisters.
39. Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40. Put a rubber pickle in the pickle jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell wewe what phone number to include, but why don't wewe figure it out?)
41. Call for chakula delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42. Make urine ice cubes.
43. Pee in the shampoo.
44. Take the book jackets off the hardcover vitabu and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book wewe purchased previously at a dollar store. If wewe can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45. Unscrew the light bulbs.
46. Hide the toilet paper.
47. Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48. Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49. Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as wewe can.
50. Plant weeds in the flowerpots.
By: Jason Roth
2. Turn the tanuri, joko on.
3. Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4. Hide the remote.
5. Hide the television.
6. Hide the pets.
7. Change the answering machine message.
8. Turn off the answering machine.
9. Change the speed dial numbers.
10. Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11. Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12. Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13. Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14. See how much pay-per-view porn wewe can order in one day.
15. Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16. Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17. Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18. Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a picha of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19. Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20. Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21. Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22. Replace ukuta picha with picha of someone else's family.
23. Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24. Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25. Paint their bathrooms black.
26. Paint their mirrors black.
27. Paint their windows black.
28. Nail their windows shut.
29. Put a skeleton in a closet.
30. Stuff a mto with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31. Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32. Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33. Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34. Fill every glass in the jikoni cabinet with water. (They might not spill the sekunde au third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35. Turn off the phone ringers.
36. Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and televisheni volume set to maximum.
37. Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38. Grease the banisters.
39. Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40. Put a rubber pickle in the pickle jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell wewe what phone number to include, but why don't wewe figure it out?)
41. Call for chakula delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42. Make urine ice cubes.
43. Pee in the shampoo.
44. Take the book jackets off the hardcover vitabu and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book wewe purchased previously at a dollar store. If wewe can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45. Unscrew the light bulbs.
46. Hide the toilet paper.
47. Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48. Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49. Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as wewe can.
50. Plant weeds in the flowerpots.
By: Jason Roth
1. Your kusoma my article.
2. You're wondering why you're even kusoma this.
4. wewe didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did wewe notice I skipped number three.
7. wewe don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that wewe silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then wewe realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But wewe remember that a fact is something that can be proven right au wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. wewe wish wewe never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch wewe with the missing number this time. au did I?
14. wewe wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind kusoma powers amaze you.
16. wewe totally forgot I was only supposed to tell wewe ten facts.
2. You're wondering why you're even kusoma this.
4. wewe didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did wewe notice I skipped number three.
7. wewe don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that wewe silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then wewe realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But wewe remember that a fact is something that can be proven right au wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. wewe wish wewe never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch wewe with the missing number this time. au did I?
14. wewe wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind kusoma powers amaze you.
16. wewe totally forgot I was only supposed to tell wewe ten facts.
Ring a Ring a Rosies,
a pocket full of posies
ATISHOO ATISHOO, we all fall down
Known to be a song about a ring of roses, little children imba in a row, then wewe sneeze and wewe fall down. Did wewe ever play that game as a young child? Hold hands and dance in a circle?
Now for the reality.
This nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague.
Ring a ring a rosies - wewe used to have large pinky red circles on your skin, this is how wewe knew wewe had the plague.
A pocket full of posies - People used to hold posies up to their nose to keep the smell of death away. They also believed that it would keep the plague away. (didn't work)
Atishoo Atishoo we all fall down - wewe know what THAT means? if not that, people would sneeze and cough and you'd know that OHMYGOD WERE DYING! And you'd all fall down (basically, you've popped your clogs)
Some people think it is a very, haunting, creepy song if sung in a certain way other than the cheerful way.
Randomness lol.
a pocket full of posies
ATISHOO ATISHOO, we all fall down
Known to be a song about a ring of roses, little children imba in a row, then wewe sneeze and wewe fall down. Did wewe ever play that game as a young child? Hold hands and dance in a circle?
Now for the reality.
This nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague.
Ring a ring a rosies - wewe used to have large pinky red circles on your skin, this is how wewe knew wewe had the plague.
A pocket full of posies - People used to hold posies up to their nose to keep the smell of death away. They also believed that it would keep the plague away. (didn't work)
Atishoo Atishoo we all fall down - wewe know what THAT means? if not that, people would sneeze and cough and you'd know that OHMYGOD WERE DYING! And you'd all fall down (basically, you've popped your clogs)
Some people think it is a very, haunting, creepy song if sung in a certain way other than the cheerful way.
Randomness lol.
Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!
Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!
One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.
When he saw the coast was clear,
Once zaidi at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure kwa now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!