dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that wewe were real, that wewe all were , that he was.
There is evidence that wewe were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming au not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and wewe diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, au did i make wewe up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without wewe i dont know. But i want to find out. Do wewe think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for my sake that they can.
I know wewe wont read this, au that fact that wewe havent even read one. they jsut get sent back to me, unread, failed, jsut like i know this one will to.
But i think this is the only thing that stops me from doing what i shouldn't do. what ever that is.
Charlie would say hi, if he knew anything. I've been so quite that me andcharlie no longer talk.
And jake. Well, he reminds me of you. Your friendship, your beauty, your loveliness. And the easiness to be normal around, someone i diddnt have to try,that i will never experience again.
But jake could never replace you.
school sucks, i think only wewe and him was my only exucuse to get up and out of kitanda for school.
i havent spoken to my mum in ages. she calls and calls and abuses dad. but i just cant. she will be too concerned and ask maswali that i dont want to answer au just hear.
Well i upendo wewe alice. i have to make chajio, chakula cha jioni for charlie, in silence again..
talk to wewe in the inayofuata few days. funny how i say that, when i wont."

upendo bella