bila mpangilio Club
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If upendo is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were run kwa women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do wewe plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kiti, kiti cha can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice siku in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that kondoo don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 saa convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for zaidi than one goose, bata bukini is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did wewe know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If mizeituni, mzeituni oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do wewe know if sour, wamekula cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern siku witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do mermaids wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do farasi call their scary dreams?
41) Do wewe get to keep the time wewe save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does dakika mchele have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do wewe slam revolving doors?
52) If wewe put chakula colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an machungwa, chungwa is machungwa, chungwa and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
posted by misscrazel
PROLOGUE
I watched a deer bound through the trees. I was about to turn and leave when I saw somone, au something crouching in the bushes. I walked a bit closer. He looked like a teenager but he wasn't much bigger then me. He had long blond hair and bright big blue eyes. Then I saw something odd. His ears were pointed. And they weren't just slightly pointed. Like an elf's. I stepped closer and he darted away through the trees. 
I chased after him barley keeping up. Once I Lost him but then I saw a flash of his blond hair. Just when I was tiring he abruptly stopped. I would've bumped into him...
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posted by TheFan2000
5:45 AM- Wake up, whine to parents about a terrible headache
6:00 AM- Discover that temperature is 99 degrees, go back to sleep
6:45 AM- Wake up again suffering a severe bout of chills and feeling extremely groggy
7:00 AM- Eat breakfast, make final decision to stay nyumbani from school
7:30 AM- Suffer another episode of chills and go up to bedroom
7:35 AM- Take a morning nap before chills get worse
7:45 AM- Become extremely cold, get another headache, crank up the heated blanket to the highest it'll go
8:00 AM- Violently yank off heated blanket and turn down heat after waking up sweating
9:00 AM- Wake...
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1. Leaving holes in the backstory.

As learned from Marty Chan, the human imagination is not only the most beautiful place in the world, it can also be the most horrific. If a person leaves some space empty (ex: "Tara disappeared after the encounter and was never heard from again....") , your mind will immediately fill it in, your imagination coming up with the most grisly scenario possible....

2. Waiting a REALLY long time for the killer/ monster to onyesha up.

The person becomes bored and even slightly drowsy, which makes them zaidi vulnerable to fear. If the antagonist pops up about halfway through (especially out of nowhere, and at night) they'll jump up as though just awaken from a nightmare. A little humor will definitely help if you're planning on doing this.
posted by misscrazel
                   3
               SPENCER
"Belinda!" I yelled my face was hot from running and I could hardly breath. Her name echoed through the hall. "Belinda!"
Crap. My teacher. There wasn't anything else I could do. So I kept running. I slammed into her as hard as I could. She stumbled off balance. Perfect. I slipped past. I grabbed Belinda's arm. She took a step back. I Lost my grip and fell. Belinda fell backwards onto me. I wrapped my arms around her. I flipped her towards me. She banged her head against mine. I kissed her. She squirmed away and ran into the girls...
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posted by TheRealSexyKate
In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose.

The word "nerd" was first coined kwa Dr. Seuss in "If I Ran the Zoo."

A 41-gun salute is the traditional salute to a royal birth in Great Britain.

The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep.

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell inayofuata to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. Any cup-shaped object placed over the ear produces the same effect.

Revolvers cannot be silenced because of all the noisy gasses which escape the cylinder...
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posted by teamsalvatore98
But haven't we all? I've alisema some things, but who hasn't? I've thought about things, but doesn't everybody? this makala is not about trying to get wewe to ask Christ for forgiveness. it's about telling everybody that they are not alone. my whole life I thought that I'm the only 1 who goes through stuff that I go through. but it's not true. my dad has seizure problems, my mom barely has time to do anything with us, and my family has financial issues, but that is okay. I've been bullied, and there's been times when I committed self harm. The thing is, wewe may think that wewe are alone, but there's...
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Hi, my name is james. im am 13 yrs old. i was beat from school. i had gotten 8 hrs detention for uigizaji like rigby during math class. some teachers huh? anyway, it was 10:00 PM when i got home. i went up the stairs to my bedroom, shut the door, got into my pj's and got in bed. as i laid in my bed, i closed my eyes and thought, dang, the regular onyesha universe seems pretty awsome. no school, no detention, it's perfect. then i fell into a deep sleep. this is where the story begins. i woke up on a hard surface, i got up and was in a white room. where the heck am i, i thought. as i turned around...
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I was uandishi this, and I want to know if it is any good before I contnue! Can I have your opinions and suggestions?
Chapter 2 isn't finished, so no maoni on the incompletion, please, it is a work in progress!

THANK YOU! :P








In the battle against two myths, two High School sweethearts must face the ultimate challenge; either put everything at risk to be together, au put their upendo at risk to stay alive.


Chapter 1

Henna


Well, let’s just say that my life is not normal. In fact, it’s probably at the most least normal level as it could possibly get. I had never even heard of this myth until it had...
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So, I was uandishi this book, and I didn't know if it would ba any good au not, and I want your opinion on it before I continue uandishi it, maybe publish it, and then make an punda out of myself if it sucks..... So please be a critic on thi exerpt on the first chapter, and any suggestions, any opinions, will be aknowledged. :) Thank you!






Chapter 1

Henna


Well, let’s just say that my life is not normal. In fact, it’s probably at the most least normal level as it could possibly get. I had never even heard of this myth until it had happened to me. Neither have you, because there are no records of...
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1. Have a nap. If wewe want to solve a problem, au come up with new ideas, then instead of always thinking - relax and have a nap. We’re usually zaidi creative when we’re feeling wide awake.

2. Get into the habit of making small talk. A casual remark can change the way wewe look at things - so talk and listen to everyone wewe meet.
3. Sign up for classes and seminars. Listening to the ideas and opinions of others increases the connections wewe make in your brain. Also, it is usually inspiring and highly motivating.

4. Make sure wewe spend time with creative people. Often these are people who think...
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Honestly like i will NEVER EVER understand people who think kindles and other ebooks are like the spawn of satan

sure paper smells nice but the point of vitabu is the content which is the same however wewe read them calm the fuck down jesus christ. so my mom is going to be here tomorrow but the only way she is willing to see me is if she brings her boyfriend along.

now i’ve never met him, and maybe i should be this upset about it, but i haven’t seen my mom in about a mwaka (it might be longer) and she isn’t willing to put me ahead of her fucking boyfriend for like 2 hours. at least that’s...
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Omg there’s pastaaaaaaa for chajio, chakula cha jioni and i’m going to be nyumbani alone again. i feel kind of happy whenever i’m nyumbani alone. i think its because i eventually got used to the quietness around the house when my sister was almost always never nyumbani because of school. it feels kind of nice actually. Cait just told me she might quit. DAFUQ. SO MAD. Coach Ron isn’t that good, but WHY CAN’T SHE JUST TAKE CHARGE LIKE A CAPTAIN SHOULD. She always gets hella pissed fast and it’s scary. I mean, I try not to offend, but she gets mad anyways. If Innah and Cait are gone, we’re gonna lose all our matches....
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Patrick(Tricky) Vaughn Stump: A quiet but friendly face and a voice to DIE for. My husband and frontman of Fall Out Boy, my hopes and dreams, my life and heart. He is very talented and he is about the most sweetest thing I've ever met. He was my best friend ever since 3rd grade then we became a couple in high school, I moved away and never saw him again...but I'll save that tale for another time as for I reunited with Patrick after a tragic event between one of my exes. I upendo him with my all my moyo and he's really special to me...and now we're marrried <3

Danielle(Dani...don't ever...EVER...
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1. My life is likely to last ten to fifteen years. Any separation from wewe will be painful: remember that before wewe get me.

2. Give me time to understand what wewe want of me.

3. Place your trust in me—it is crucial to my well being.

4. Do not be angry at me for long, and do not lock me up as punishment.

5. wewe have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I only have you.

6. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I understand your voice.

7. Be aware that however wewe treat me, I will never forget.

8. Remember before wewe hit me that I have sharp teeth that could easily...
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posted by E-Scope90
Between 10-12% of people on earth are “lefties.” Women are zaidi likely to be right-handed than men kwa about 4 percentage points.i
August 13th is “Left-Hander’s Day.” Launched in 1992, this yearly event celebrates left-handedness and raises awareness of the difficulties and frustrations left-handers experience every siku in a world designed for right-handers.c
At various times in history, left-handedness has been seen as many things: a nasty habit, a mark of the devil, a sign of neurosis, rebellion, criminality, and homosexuality. It has also been seen as a trait indicating creativity...
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I’m just putting it out there that the bila mpangilio shabiki club is for posting anything and everything hence the name the bila mpangilio shabiki club and those who don’t understand that should be removed from this club as the word bila mpangilio means being weird au not normal just means to be different to be unique to be a thing for all things i always thought that the bila mpangilio shabiki club could be a MLP maoni the below it a HP maoni if no one understands this then the meaning of the bila mpangilio shabiki club lives no longer so i beg for wewe to see reason this club is for everyone to post everything and anything they want see reason it is a fact being bila mpangilio is a good thing but blocking out peoples randomness is not cool bros
posted by hetaliaitaly
The moment wewe took your life
I felt mine ended too.
If I could only turn back time
there’s so much I would undo.

I didn’t see the warning signs.
wewe held them deep inside.
Struggles wewe were going through
wewe did so well to hide.

I’m left with guilt and sorrow,
and confusion as to why
wewe didn’t tell me of your pain
and felt wewe had to die.

The Sadness of the sight was just to much to bare
And now its me lying here
Cold,Crimson and Dead

wewe will never know how I feel inside,
The pain that still resides,
Happiness was once in my life,
Those days have long since ceased.
posted by DramaQueen1020
orodha of things I love, and orodha of things I hate.
If anyone agrees wewe can post below. These are all random. ish.

Love
1) Pictures with funny captions.
2) Ice cream.
3) Moustaches.
4) Poison dart frogs :P
5) Cats
6) Cute cats
7) Cute Cats in silly poses.
8) Daffodils
9) Laughing.
10) Kitkats. The candy, yum!
11) Harry Potter
12) Sirius Black
13) Sirius the star.
14) Plaid
15) Queen!!! :)
16) Lemonade
17) Funny rants for no reason
18) Rants that have a reason
19) Unicorns
20) My boyfriend. (jk, don't have one at the moment)
21) Jewelry
22) Peace symbols
22) Theatre games
23) Stupid theatre games
24) Freaky things
25) Ellen...
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posted by kitty190123
ithjoierjgiojflgjowirhjgoia rhfgourhguo heriug hurwh guoerh aguoehrgouheroug hruo hgoeruhguoreh gu ehgu hruo ghoruhgoruehgourh ourhtgou ehguhu huhturhtuoerh uohriu htruhgu itirehtgurhg uurhgurth urhug hugih gthugfjhgnurjhtgeurj uthguerhtuierthgurthgurhtu hfurhtueihtgiehti vhfuhoiwhtohewot ghfurhuhruhtuhuiehfurhutg irfurhuitehieuhtui vuyhtrurhtuie hrtoughieuhgiehg thouerhtuiehgt fuihgdiuehrifuhwr rjuhgjekhrgt3hgfjeruhgou hguerohg iuhrguoerh gk h tyiu 5h uihgiuehgdfuhgj hguihguirhegjkih seuiohgurei hgiuesh giue rhguier ghuerghneruijgheuirhgt ueri thiure htuihr ui hriu htuirh tius htuihsiu thierothieurthgioet hg



This is really stupid but I was feeling bored...
HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE

1. Examine the software packaging until wewe find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system wewe need to run the software. It should look something like this:

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR au HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM

NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.

2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.

3. Find the actual software,...
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