Fake Friends: Never ask for food.
Real Friends: are the reason wewe have no food.

Fake Friends: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
Real Friends: Call your parents Dad/Mom.(Or something along those lines ;] )

Fake Friends: bail wewe out of jail and tell wewe what wewe did was wrong.
Real Friends: Would sit inayofuata to wewe saying "Shoot ... we messed up ... but that was fun!"
Fake Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Real Friends: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

Fake Friends: know a few things about you.
Real Friends: Could write a book about wewe with direct nukuu from you.

Fake Friends: Will leave wewe behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
Real Friends: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

Fake Friends: Would knock on your front door.
Real Friends: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

Fake Friends: Are for awhile.
Real Friends: wewe cant get rid of.

Fake Friends: will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.
Real Friends: Will knock the crap out of them.

Fake Friends: Will ask if wewe okay when wewe fall down.
Real Friends: Will pee on themselves with laughter at your stupidity.

Fake Friends: Laugh when wewe laugh for no reason.
Real Friends: Laugh when they find it funny.

Fake Friends: Will read this.
Real Friends: Will steal this, just like i did.