Q .. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A .. To see what was on the other side.
Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it alisema From 2-4 years.
Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook chakula stamps!
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One siku the husband comes nyumbani from work and his wife says, "Honey, wewe know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could wewe fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes nyumbani from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could wewe change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can wewe please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The inayofuata siku the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He alisema he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake au slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did wewe make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
A young boy enters a barber duka and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do wewe want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” alisema the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask wewe a question? Why did wewe take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the siku I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a bia bottle and bangs the gator on the juu of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but wewe have to promise not to hit me on the head with the bia bottle."
A .. To see what was on the other side.
Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it alisema From 2-4 years.
Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook chakula stamps!
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One siku the husband comes nyumbani from work and his wife says, "Honey, wewe know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could wewe fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes nyumbani from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could wewe change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can wewe please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The inayofuata siku the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He alisema he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake au slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did wewe make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
A young boy enters a barber duka and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do wewe want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” alisema the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask wewe a question? Why did wewe take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the siku I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a bia bottle and bangs the gator on the juu of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but wewe have to promise not to hit me on the head with the bia bottle."
This has probably happened to a lot of wewe because of taking notes in class.
Have wewe ever got a little blister au callus because of uandishi too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure au rubbing for too long against your skin.
Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the guitar, gitaa au even cooking a lot can result in calluses.
So wewe have some calluses and wewe want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.
wewe can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with lemon, limau for 10 dakika and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams au mlozi oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and wewe will see a difference.
If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol
Have wewe ever got a little blister au callus because of uandishi too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure au rubbing for too long against your skin.
Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the guitar, gitaa au even cooking a lot can result in calluses.
So wewe have some calluses and wewe want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.
wewe can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with lemon, limau for 10 dakika and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams au mlozi oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and wewe will see a difference.
If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol
"WANNA MAKE a cutte quick effective difference in life...?"
1) If wewe Want to work for people ....Make your moyo the ultimate NGO and see the difference.
2) If wewe want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference
3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.
4) As wewe are the creator of your life, similarly wewe are the destroyer of your life.
5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.
6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for wewe
*always forget what wewe did good for people
P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
1) If wewe Want to work for people ....Make your moyo the ultimate NGO and see the difference.
2) If wewe want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference
3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.
4) As wewe are the creator of your life, similarly wewe are the destroyer of your life.
5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.
6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for wewe
*always forget what wewe did good for people
P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
I've recently heard that some people are offended kwa the T- shati slogan "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them," and think it's sexist and that people wouldn't react the same if it was women they were targeting.
But the thing is, I feel that the shati isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five mwaka old boy wearing a shati that alisema "Girls Have Cooties" au "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.
I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female au male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.
But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have wewe ever seen a T.V. onyesha where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.
But the thing is, I feel that the shati isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five mwaka old boy wearing a shati that alisema "Girls Have Cooties" au "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.
I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female au male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.
But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have wewe ever seen a T.V. onyesha where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.